S.L.O.P.P.Y.

"Remember me, I'm the one you danced with/

Remember how we danced so tight I could not let you go/I know it's been a long time, but I'm callin'/'Cause I've got to be with you (First you keep me waitin')/(Won't you let me know?) I've got to be with you/(Won't you let me know?)...

What do I do if I wanna get through to you?/
No matter how I try you always keep me waitin'/What do I do if I wanna get through to you?/
No matter how I try you always keep me waitin'.../"       - Phil Fearon & Galaxy, 'What Do I Do'.

The relationship between Manchester United and goals continues to spiral into new nadirs almost weekly. What the challenge is isn't even straight forward anymore. The goal (pun intended) is simple enough - put the ball through the opposition's net. You buy good players and develop academy players to make up your squad. You hire a reputable or promising manager to train the squad with the hope of obtaining some form of success in competitions entered for. You win by scoring more goals than the opposition either in normal time, extra time or penalty shoot-outs. Manchester United have a better squad than most. The fact that it also has a more expensive squad than almost any other team is irrelevant to this train of thought. But how these reputed professionals, with a proven coach, absolutely struggle in scoring goals has become a veritable head-scratcher.

Better than the last two administrations, this team creates chances. You have the goal-scoring legend that is Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who while in natural decline (even if he wouldn't admit so himself), still ponies up with more than his fair share of goals. Can he therefore be exempted from blame including in the game yesterday? Not exactly. He misses and scores important goals in equal proportion so there's some culpability there. Still, he's been an A -. 

Rooney is closer to retirement than prime, has long stopped being a starter and has recently been crocked so there's no salvation from that quarter. His eclipsing of Sir Bobby's record should be the highlight of his season and a reward for his longevity, however fractured the journey has been. 

Mata, a playmaker, while continuously played out of position by successive managers, has also weighed in with his own contributions with 10 goals in 38 appearances this season, He is currently injured and probably out for the rest of the season.

Mhkitaryan. An excellent footballer who has been a plus to the team. 9 goals in 31 appearances. His form has taken a hit of late but he still pops up to score important goals for the team as he did yesterday. He has also be very wasteful when presented with fantastic opportunities and there is no doubt that he needs to urgently improve on his 'non-complicated' finishing. 

Anthony Martial, after all my advocacy for his inclusion into the first team, has been a bit of a disappointment. Like the next player to be mentioned, he may be suffering from 2nd season blues but '2nd season blues' is not exactly a natural thing. Young players are expected to improve with time not stagnate or decline. Martial has all the attributes of great player; skill, pace, composure and intelligence but he seems to lack the mental fortitude to push to push for greatness. Take matters into your own hands when things get desperate. He is too willing to defer even when placed in good positions and consequently his goals return for a genuine wide forward this season, has been poor. Granted, he doesn't always start but he has also not made the best of the available opportunities.

Rashford is another one. A young forward blessed with searing pace and an eye for goal. He took England by storm 2nd half of last season and has since enjoyed a career fairy tale. His form this season though has ranged from average to atrocious. Perhaps the excuse proffered could be that he has been played 'out of position' on the flanks to accommodate Zlatan but this, I believe, is a necessary requirement and learning curve for any great modern striker. The good ones can play anywhere across the front three and it is something Rashford must learn. Even when given the opportunity to play as a centre-forward, he hasn't done very well. His decision making and finishing have been very 'Championship' level. He works very hard and so I expect him to do much better in coming seasons matches. 

Lingard Jesse. Recently signed an improved contract reputed to be worth about a 100 large ones per week. Hallelujah. I have since known that there are certain business narratives which particularly the bigger clubs cater to, wherein there's a marriage of corporate interests with actual footballing quality. See Schweinsteiger, Pogba and Adidas. Also English captain, Wayne Rooney. Lingard has been a life-long Manchester United boy and is now in the 1st team with a bit of good history on the side (The belter in the FA Cup final). The story of Manchester United promoting youth is one that must be perpetuated. Fill in the gaps. He's fast and has scored some fine goals for his boyhood club but does that justify this bumper contract extension? I don't think so. His goal contributions are not good enough (5 in 31) and I don't think he's an elite forward capable of pushing United to the next level.

The above summary of our forwards/wingers perhaps gives a hint into why there has been a dearth of goals but it is not at all conclusive. Against Anderlecht yesterday in the 1st leg of the Europa League Cup Quarter-finals, chance after chance went a-begging as usual and a defensive error by he-who-must-not-be-criticised in the 87th minute led to the barely deserved equaliser for the home team. Wash, Rinse. Repeat. 

Said the manager afterwards;

“If I was a United defender I would be very upset with the attacking players because they have to kill the game and they didn’t. The result should be much better and we can only blame ourselves because we had an easy game to play in the second half and didn’t play in attack with that instinct.

“We lost the ball easily too many times, we stopped our counter attacks because of sloppy touches, sloppy decisions. And then we gave them the opportunity to have some counter attacks and luckily our defenders were very much in the game and they resolved all these problems.

“You have to play more seriously. We put all together the performance of two or three of our attacking players and you squeeze not much juice out of it and the people behind were not focused.”

Anderlecht’s Dendoncker denies Manchester United win with late header 

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He also named names.

“Marcus Rashford, Jesse Lingard, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Anthony, I think they were very similar." 

Captain Carrick's post match interview also had the word 'sloppy' used a record number of times.

World record fee player, Paul Pogba was poor again and had a clear cut chance that he should have buried. I look forward to his resurrection this season.

There's still a lot to play for in the 2nd leg at Old Trafford a week from now but it doesn't get easier from here - We welcome Champions-elect, Chelsea on Sunday in a blockbuster premier league tie. I only hope the poser in the above song is answered by then.

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Ex-Boy Cristiano Ronaldo on Wednesday became the first player to reach 100 goals in the UEFA Champions League. Two well taken goals against Bayern in Munich have given Real Madrid the advantage in the tie. I must admit that I had stopped being a fan of the Madeira wonder-man due to his stinking attitude on the pitch but give credit where due; CR7 is one of the most prolific goal scorers in football history and forces himself into the G.O.A.T. conversation. He may no longer be aesthetically pleasing but he's unparalleled in what he does best - score goals. Sign him up, Jose!

* Officiating has been a bit of a bummer in Europe this season, yes? Has it always been like this or is it getting worse? Griezmann scored a non-penalty from the penalty spot and Vidal sent the match ball to Santiago from the same spot because Daniel Carvajal had the temerity to get his chest in the way of Ribery's goal-bound shot. There have also been a litany of such cases in the domestic leagues. Where art thou, Video Assistant Referees?

* The NBA Play-offs begin on Saturday. Woof!

* Happy Easter Holidays!