‘Tactical Hustling’

Hyenas (or “hyenanas” or “hyrenes”) are carnivores that are largely disliked and held in contempt not least because of their behavioural characteristics but also because of their role in Mufasa’s death. Hyenas are said to be very successful hunters due to their adaptability and cunning. They can be both hunter and scavenger and have complex social manners. Although often regarded as ugly (they are), greedy and cowardly, very few doubt that they are powerful and very very dangerous animals.

A herd of hyenas may chase a lion away from its kill/meal but nobody confuses it as being the king of the jungle. There is a grudging, almost contemptuous regard for its prowess but it would correctly never be acknowledged as belonging in the topmost hierarchy of the animal kingdom.

This is pretty much the current Manchester United situation – it can effectively ‘do a (dirty, professional) job’ but is devoid of any aesthetic or endearing qualities comparable to the contemporary big guns. Basically, it has become a typical Jose Mourinho prototype - which is not necessarily a bad thing on the understanding that this outlook is merely a framework of bigger things. While the team is still capable of giving any opponent a bloodied nose and cracked jaw, you get the feeling that if the opponent can avoid the knockout blow for the 12 rounds, he would win unanimously on points. Neither fighter would be bruised or bloodied but the opponent would have landed more power-shots. Think Floyd Mayweather with slow feet and hand combinations.  

The derby yesterday was one of those games that gave a vivid insight into the story behind our now 24-match unbeaten run. While there was enough potent ‘quick-acting’ venom available to intermittently keep Manchester City at a cautious distance, there was also the soft under-belly of inexperience and lack of savoir faire to encourage their consistent onslaughts. The menacing pace of the underwhelming Martial and raw Rashford kept Zabaleta and Kolarov honest but the technical (not tactical) deficiencies of the 3 blind mice (and the other tall man) in the middle meant that the opponents could regularly make dangerous forays into the United half. The philosophy (now such a dirty word) was more ‘We shall not lose’ rather than ‘Let’s go for the win’.

But under the circumstances, I understand it.

This has always been the foundation on which Mourinho’s teams are built – a solid defence structure and lethal attacking. He inherited a passably functional (if laborious) team from his predecessor and the addition of a spine of goals (and chutzpah. Zlatan), creativity (Mhkitaryan) and steel (King Bailly) was supposed to further elevate that platform for eventual top tier prosperity. Has this been a success? Mostly. But what was again glaring yesterday was the fact that Manchester United looked vastly inferior to their noisy neighbours for large spells. Agreed, there were injuries to influential players (Zlatan, Pogba, Rojo and Mata) and not-so-much influential players, also fatigue, but that really doesn't excuse the continuing genuflective performances against top attacking teams. See also Liverpool home and away when these guys were available. There continues to be an assuredness and street-smartness which a majority of our squad do not have. 

Yes, Mourinho is smart enough not to necessarily go toe-to-toe with more adventurous opponents but the difference between this team and his previous sides is that those teams had experienced firepower and technical know-how to do the smash-and-grab in such situations. The total defensive effort will then be praised as a 'tactical masterclass' but when it comes off like it did yesterday, it just looks cheap. When you consider the cost with which this team was put together (I'm sorry but we can't ignore the eye-popping figures), it just makes it look even cheaper.  Deconstructing the expensive imbalance created by inexperience, incompetence and senescence remains a priority to be addressed in July.  

The midfield of Carrick (twilight years), Herrara (poor on the day), Mikki (shocking loss of form) and the other guy could neither win the ball back nor make quick or intelligent passes to the forward men. When indeed they were even able to reclaim the ball, they proceeded to give it right back to City. There were several periods we could barely string 3 passes together and as a result the supply lines were cut off from the strikers. Hopeful punts from the defenders were the scraps they were left to feed on. Not that the attackers showed enough guile to suitably trouble the Kompany-led back-line and Mr. Glass Bravo. Funny enough, going a man down in the 83rd minute did not fundamentally change anything, for better for worse, in the team. 

But it was not altogether negative. A good point was won and a top 4 spot still remains in our hands. Clean sheet. Fosu-Mensah's injury was a bummer but everyone else left unscathed. We trudge on.

We are however approaching the phase were we have to specifically choose our poison. Injuries and fatigue have started to take their toll. There will be no point collapsing at the finish line of the 2 races. The blueprint of what lies ahead is assured. Auditions should have been closed. Targets identified and taken out. This should quickly stop being an endurance exercise in an iron-man contest. The selected line-up against Swansea in the early kick-off on Sunday should hopefully hint at something. Come On, You Reds! 

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

*Tomorrow, it's Anthony Oluwafemi 'AJ" Olaseni Joshua v Wladimir "Dr. Sledgehammer" Klitschko at the Wembley arena for the IBF, IBO and WBA titles. Winner takes all. Youth v Experience. 18 - 0 (all KOs) v 64 - 4 (53 KOs). Same height, almost same weight, same boxing style. AJ says he has no choice but to knock him out. Dr. Sledge says after knocking him out, he'll help him back up to continue his career. Let's get ready to rumble!

* There is something going on in Munchen...   

* Cavs give Pacers the broom and face shaky Toronto. Warriors sweep the Trailblazers and have an appointment with the winner of the Clippers v Jazz tie. Kawhi's Spurs eventually tame the Grizzlies and welcome MvP Harden's Rockets. The Celtics have a decider against Butler's Bulls and the John Wall/Bradley Beal tandem try to close out the Hawks. I love this game...

* Barcelona hit relegated Osasuna for 7 with Javier Macherano scoring his first goal for the Blanguara, a penalty, after 300+ games. Real Madrid respond in kind and hit Deportivo for 6 with their 2nd team. This one may go to the wire.....

* Kaiser Soze! 😂😂😂😂

    

One Step Forward Again? (and THE Clasico)

I'm going to rein myself in and be very temperate in my praise.

Por que?

Because a la Ygritte, "You know nothing, Jon Snow..." Nuff said.

It was a very pleasing and comfortable performance against Burnley on a bright and sunny day in Lancanshire. This display however created a few headaches for me by the end of the game. Could Darmian actually deputise as decent left full back? Does Ashley Young, in whatever capacity, still have a role to play in this team? Could Fellaini one day be nominated for the PFA Player of the Year? Ok, no, I kid. We all know the answer to that one. But apart from some expected bone-headed moments earlier on, he had a very effective and efficient game, a number of them he has now been able to string together. Persist with Captain Rooney as an able lieutenant goal-scorer till contract-end? (No). Is the £44.5m (and counting) Martial back? Perhaps just one crack striker is needed?...

Before I remind myself that the victory was against 'ordinary' Burnley, I am also self-prompted to recall that United's last victory on this ground was in 1976 and the home team had won 32 points out of its current total of 36 on its turf. With the accumulating injuries and abject finishing, this could have been a stickier situation than Sticky the Stick Insect getting stuck on a sticky bun. 

Alas, it was a game so tranquilly navigated that even Captain Edward Smith could have managed it. For the 2nd game running, De Gea did not have a single save to make. Again, kudos must be given to Mourinho for his ability to extract the maximum results from his limited available personnel in the past 3 potential banana peel match-ups. The team has not only won those games but has done so wearing house slippers.

Does this mean that Mourinho (and his team) are now settling into a definitive pattern or system which runs functionally on auto-pilot? Take out Ibrahimovic and Rashford scores. Rashford rests and Martial scores. Mikki takes a breather and Rooney can be depended on. Fellaini can actually be useful in the middle. The substitute full-backs can do a job as good as the starters. But God forbid anything happens to 'King' Eric Bailly. Irreplaceable. The best centre-half in the Premiership for me. Could this really be the new beginning? Could it?...

Screech.

Even as I remain optimistic in theory, I know we've been in this position of false dawns too many times this season that I can't but cast a wary eye at our seemingly improving circumstances. We have consistently looked the gift horse in the mouth and played with its tail too. Liverpool's home loss to Crystal Palace means attaining a top 4 spot is firmly in our own hands. Manchester City's loss to Arsenal in extra-time (Cheers to weary legs! Hurrah!) means we also have the psychological edge going into the derby on Thursday (So much so that Manchester United ex-lover, Yaya Toure has suggested that the game should be played without a referee.). We know that form goes to the toilet in such contests but just one point behind City and coming on the (massive) back of a now 23-match unbeaten stretch, we have a good chance, yes?

You know nothing, Jon Snow...

I just wish we didn't have to go through this M. Night Shyamalan-type drama all the time. I like the idea of contesting till beyond reach but what if...no, don't be negative...but...gulp...that Michael Ballack spirit...what if...

“If we beat Celta Vigo in the semi-final, we go to the final...Yes, it is important for us to play in the Champions League but this club wants trophies. We cannot give the club the Premier League trophy but we have a 25 per cent chance to win the Europa League..."

Don't be afraid to fall...and with all these mounting injuries and inconsistency...the journey is as important as the destination...

...It would be nice to come 3rd and win the Europa League Cup. 😀. Yes, I'll leave it at that.

Pogba has hopefully only a minor knock and should be available for Thursday's blockbuster. Long (in more ways than one) term injuries aside, everyone else should be available for selection. The belly-fire for this fixture does not require any stoking. Judging by the ingenuity exhibited by the bench in the recent games, we can afford to feel very positive going into possibly our most critical game this season. Etihad, here we come!

You know nothing, Jon Snow...

Signing Out (Kinda),

B.L...

The El Clasico:

There are some moments in football, not necessarily genius but indisputably impactful, that remain indelible in memory. You remember exactly where you were and exactly what you were doing when they occurred. Not a series of plays but one particular instance forever framed in time. Solskjaer's 93rd minute special. The Zidane Champions League final volley. The Hand of God. The Terry penalty slip. Stevie's too. Yekini celebrating Nigeria's debut goal in the 1994 World Cup. Agueeeeeroooooo. 😡. The list is lengthy but luscious.

The fantastic El Clasico played yesterday added another image to that list. Like the musical genius with an album of same name, this is it:

Close to a billion people watched the game as I expect you did. If unfortunately you didn't, you can watch the highlights on YouTube or any free video sharing network. Every decent sport website must have put up a match report or article on the spectacle. The magazines eventually certainly will. So that's not what this is about.

I am genuinely amused that a (small) section of people only now seem to want to grudgingly recognise an unrivalled greatness that may not be seen in many a forthcoming generation. With the advantage of its excellence transpiring in a technologically and physically advanced era, it is also safe to say it has never been seen before.

Its not about the goals even though only few have scored more. Its not about the assists even though he ranks higher than almost anyone in that category, certainly in his domestic league, at least. Laurels? He's yet to win a senior national title (but he's led his team to 3 successive finals and won everything else including all FIFA age-grade competitions). I'll give no serious regard to those who think greatness can only be attained when you excel in another league albeit a possibly inferior one. It would be the ultimate disservice as has been mentioned several times to limit this greatness to mere statistics and votes. The genius in the 'eye-test' - There is no other player in the modern era that combines the entire skill-set of attacking menace at such an optimum level.

I may have a Manchester United bias but I'm not a stupid person. I'm not going to call 'black' 'white' just because of club tribal allegiances. I consider myself first a football purist and fan and have enjoyed the game immensely by adopting this stance. I was fortunate to have been indoctrinated with the beautiful game right from infancy and the love has only continued to balloon. 1986 was my first 'proper' world cup. I've done my extensive and detailed research on all the football that happened in the preceding years. Video clips, articles, documentaries and even first-hand witness interviews. I'm not going to pretend that it gives me a 100% bird's eye view on this issue but I guarantee you it means my perspective is well-informed.

I simply haven't seen anyone like the man holding the shirt above.

The game could have gone the opposite way yesterday but it still wouldn't have changed a thing about the concrete body of work already cached in golden history. The events of yesterday merely solidified an incontestable legend.

You know his name. Mr. 500 and counting.  

Facts v Facts

There's a moral dilemma in honestly analysing the game on Thursday and indeed this odd season.

On one hand, we eventually won the match and are through to the Semi-finals of the Europa League Cup. The team is also on a 22-match unbeaten run in the league (The best run in any of the major European leagues this season) and already has the League Cup in the bag. A top 4 spot in the league is still up for grabs. The Quarter-final exit in the FA Cup was to presumably the best team in the land  this season and was also largely influenced by an early red card. There was even sweet revenge for that loss last week.

Not bad at all, is it?

But like I'm wont to do, I submit statistics to the "eye-test" which I believe give a much more honest assessment of things. While it may be subjective in theory as different individuals may view things from different perspectives as well as enjoy varying ocular advantages, an unbiased attempt at evaluating performances over data will often result in providing a more accurate picture.

For instance, I recall watching almost every match of the 2012 UEFA European Championship and came to a quick (and correct) conclusion that Andres Iniesta was easily the best player of the tournament. His stats in the major categories throughout the event? ONE assist. Yep. That's all. No goal. Just an assist. One of his teammates, Fernando Torres, scored 3 goals and was the top scorer while fellow country men, David Silva and Xavi Hernandez has 3 and 2 assists respectively. How then could a player with just 1 assist in 6 matches so obviously be the best player? As corroborated by the technical committee of the competition, it was simply based on what he did not what the statistics offered.

Bringing it back home, Louis Van Gaal got Manchester United to the Champions League in his 1st season and was within a point of repeating this fundamental requirement in his 2nd. He also managed the club to its first FA Cup win in over a decade. He was fired even before the celebrations had subsided. Why? We all remember what we saw and endured particularly in the 2nd year...

Which again brings me back to this team and this season.

I cannot in good conscience say I was pleased with what I witnessed against Anderlecht. I am glad we qualified but the way and manner it was achieved, admittedly not without its pros, left me very irritable and annoyed. I guess you can't always choose both the 'what' and 'how' but some of what transpired was straight up Laurel and Hardy territory. Having to win that game in extra-time was fantastically indicative of why we have struggled to win in 90 minutes at Old Trafford; uncommon profligacy, I don't think  there has been a big team as wasteful has we have been in the history of modern football. I'll defer to the statisticians on that one.

Yes, we did not lose, we created loads of chances and we eventually scored the winner despite suffering 2 crucial injuries. Never stop. Never quit. 'Cos you're too legit to quit. Rashford is slowly but hopefully rediscovering his goal-scoring instinct (his goal was well taken in spite of him being a director and major shareholder in the WeSquander limited liability company), Carrick's stamina and performance (on this day) belied his age, Fellaini seems more useful when he's called upon to do a 'job' (we already knew this), Shaw (played and) completed 120 minutes unscathed and Mkhitaryan seems to really like the competition.

But this cannot mask amongst several things, the sudden fragility of our defence (moreso now that we have only one fit 1st team centre half), Pogba's continuously baffling football decisions, Mkhitaryan's rapid drop in form, Martial's ongoing lethargic performances (he looked as knackered as the rest in spite of coming on only at extra-time!) and err...the Zlatan conundrum. That performance was unacceptable for a team that harbours much loftier ambitions.

It is cliched to say that the 'table does not lie' but it really doesn't. The simple reason we are in the position we are is because we have played like a team that should be in that position. Forget the bad luck, super goal keepers, injuries and bad officiating theology. There's a reason we are playing in the Europa league and are currently outside looking in at a top 4 position which we have been kept out of for majority of the season. Some results over the unbeaten run period were predictable from the 1st couple of minutes. Others from the line-up. It's not a coincidence. Has there however been some sort of progress? I refer you back to the 2nd paragraph.

But.

There are critical decisions that need to be made before next season where it is generally expected that we are major contenders in all competitions. They include:

1. Do we persist with our youthful strikers and hope they develop into lethal predators next season after overcoming this '2nd-season blip'? Or do we get at least, in my opinion, 2 crack strikers, to get the job done? Knowing fully well that this may hinder the growth of our youthful strikers? 

2. Do we keep Zlatan for another year in which case the team will still be inevitably built around him? Or is it ok to keep a $12 million-per-year 36 year old striker as an 'option' on the bench?

3.  Each to his own device, but do we retain some of the bang average players in this team either because they 'work hard' or are perceived to be 'loyal'? 

4. How many new defenders do we need?

Whatever decisions are made in this regard will fully determine the direction for the team possibly for the next couple of years.

I was hoping for a kick-on from the Chelsea victory but the showing on Thursday reminded me that perhaps form isn't something you just switch on. Was it too much to expect a certain level of consistency from a team that has mostly wobbled its way all season? Perhaps. Still, there was an obvious opportunity...

There were also 2 major injuries suffered by United players in the game; Rojo's was unfortunately largely self-inflicted and Zlatan's was a freak accident. It would seem that neither would be available for the rest of the season. That's a problem whatever way you look at it. Tuanzebe may be introduced to pair with Bailly or Mourinho may persist with Blind who didn't cover himself in glory when he was introduced for Rojo in the 23rd minute. Not exactly comforting either way. 

The Zlatan void also creates a chasm which may be tricky to fill - can Rashford or Martial (Oh, and Rooney) be trusted to execute this very vital part of the season? I sure hope they can. Conceivably still, it may enforce what could be the new template for our attacking strategy. 

Manchester United has been drawn to  play Celta Vigo in the semi-finals of the Europa League. There is however the little matter of Burnley away on Sunday. I kinda still prefer to win in spite of my criticisms... 

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* UEFA Champions League Semis: i. The Madrid derby ii. Defence v Attack

* UEFA Europa League Other Semi; Lyon v Ajax

* Fun Fact - Serena Williams was 12 weeks pregnant when she won the 2017 Australian Open. Roger Federer was not.

* I don't particularly like LeBron James. Valid reasons I'll explain some other time. But I'm not stupid enough not recognise that he's...well...the best player of his generation. By a mile. Now, that's someone who can turn on his 'switch'. He's always a different animal when the play-offs start and it's been no different this year.  His team over came a 26 point deficit, an NBA play-off record, to beat the Pacers and take a 3-0 lead in the best-of-7 1st Round series. Now the 3rd highest scorer in Play-off history. Triple double. Monster.

Redemption!

"Go and spread the good news,/ The King's no longer dead.../ He's alive again, O the Stone's been rolled away/ He's alive again, He's no longer where He lay/ He's alive again, I can hear the angels say/ Let all the world rejoice, He's alive! (repeat twice) Let all the world rejoice He's Alive!" - Phil Driscoll, 'He's Alive Again'

And a Happy Easter to you too!

In this season of resurrection and reclamation, there was a visible testimony of such miracles at Old Trafford yesterday. The adrenaline of excitement is yet abate even as I type away at the keyboard many hours later. Hallelujah.

The odds were overwhelmingly not in our favour yesterday. Delving into a bit of history, Chelsea are the only team in the Premier League to have a superior Win/Loss advantage to United in the competition. The last time United beat Chelsea in a league game was in 2013 in a run since comprising 12 games. It is therefore fair to consider Chelsea our bogey team.

Chelsea were the run-away leaders of the league and had the advantage of not having any European distraction this season unlike all the other usual contenders, Liverpool excepted. They had a fresh functional team who are hard to beat and possess the league's most potent attacking AND stifling individual forces. There was already a 4-0 humiliation for club and manager in the previous league fixture between both teams in October 2016 (Manchester United, if I may say so myself, has been unbeaten in the league since then) as well as a referee-enforced dominant 1-0 Quarter-finals FA Cup victory this season both at Stamford bridge.

Jose Mourinho had been described as a spent force and Antonio Conte as Luke Skywalker. Conte had with a few new signings reinvigorated Mourinho's shell of a team and made them overwhelming favourites for the title. Mourinho on the other hand, was presiding over the most expensive football team in history and was struggling to win games. Conte was now the one with a cheeky youthful energy and a glint in his eye. Mourinho was just dour.

The line-up also seemed to confirm that the 'body' was indeed dead and had started to rot. Ashley Young, the captain of the day (😱) started as the left-sided forward while Carrick, Mhkitaryan, Martial (who was not even on the bench) and Zlatan were all missing from the starting line-up. Fellaini started. And against a mobile and crafty Chelsea midfield. The attacking duo of Rashford and Lingard who I had both described in my previous write-up here started against the seasoned Chelsea defence consisting David Luiz, Gary Cahill and Cesar Azpiculeta. Our starting line-up had scored a total of 12 goals this season. Eden Hazard, who is not even his team's top scorer, had 14. Oh, and Darmian also started.

Had Mourinho accepted that the top 4 pursuit had been compromised and was beyond salvation? By their omission in a game that would seem tailor-made for their talents, had the manager given Shaw and Martial an Old Trafford kiss of death? Had he accepted certain truths and washed his hands off being competitive this season in the league? Most importantly, could it be that...was there a possibility that Mourinho had received 30 silver coins from his former employers? 😑Yeah, I said it.

All of the above was slightly ameliorated by the absence of Chelsea's 1st choice goalkeeper, Thibaut Courtois and left wing back, Marcos Alonso. Still...

Did I also mention that the weather was dire and gloomy?

And then the match kicked off at exactly 4 pm...

"Go and spread the good news,/ The King's no longer dead.../ He's alive again..."

Oh, the Glory!

In what was the most complete performance against a strong top team since forever, Manchester United absolutely dominated the game from start to finish. Mourinho may be perceived as being many negative things but do not ever ever doubt his tactical acumen in the biggest games. With what may have been the weakest line-up on paper this season, his team controlled and over-shadowed the table-toppers in all areas of the pitch. EVERY single player came woke and ready and brought their relative 'A' game to the field. Mind you, there were still a lot of insults hurled at the players by my humble self during the course of the match but this was as complete a team performance as you could possibly get.

De Gea didn't have a save to make all game, the first time since a mighty long time, again against United (September 2007 in Old Trafford), that Chelsea has endured such famine. Valencia, ever reliable, was stable and didn't put a foot wrong. Bailly and Rojo were excellent as has become the norm. Dirty Diego was up to his usual dark art antics and I was a bit worried about Rojo succumbing to his venomous pincers. There were several incidents between the pair which a card-happy referee could have used to thrust himself into the spotlight. Thankfully, Rojo had the focus and physicality to nullify Costa. Darmian, smh...Darmian didn't put a foot wrong. Either that or I didn't see him put a foot wrong. Same difference.

Pogba was another one in the dog house who put in a disciplined and adequate performance. One sliding tackle in particular to halt a Chelsea counter-attack was well received. He wasn't 'special' in any way but he did a yeoman's job and did not allow N'golo Kante dominate him like the last time. He continues to dangerously play with the ball in front of his '18 and the earlier he realises that there is most times an advantage in simplicity, the better it would be for him. Ask Paul Scholes.

Marouane Fellaini. God bless him. He went over and above his natural abilities and served as the primary enforcer in the middle. Barney Ronay described him as "...clattering into opponents, ball bouncing off his knees, thighs, chest. At times it was like having a very angry but surprisingly effective and skillful dairy cow on the pitch...". I couldn't have put it better myself.

Ashley Young...wow...(I may never look back at these writings)...Ashley Young played like a captain! He didn't need to be the most talented player on the pitch (He wasn't) but he played with heart and verve for the entire duration he was on the pitch. I gave him (or his likeness on the screen) an earful when he respectively ballooned and misdirected 2 very good chances in the 1st half. He hustled, bustled and generally made sure that Victor Moses got no joy on the right flank. You can understand why Mourinho likes him. Jesse Lingard was pretty much the same. His speed remains his greatest asset and he made a nuisance of himself all evening to the Chelsea defence. He was presented with a good chance by his strike partner but he failed to make the most of it. But he was good and effective on the day...

"...O the Stone's been rolled away/ He's alive again,

He's no longer where He lay..."

Marcus "The Jet" Rashford may...may just have turned the corner. That moment where it all comes together, that moment when it all falls into place. Playing on the wings and studying Zlatan play 9 may start reaping its rewards. Rashford was all over the Chelsea defence in what was possibly his most complete performance in a Manchester United shirt. He tirelessly ran the channels, terrorised Luiz with his direct running all evening and capped (shouldn't it be 'started'? He scored in the 8th minute, United's earliest goal this season and the earliest conceded by Chelsea) his showing with a well taken goal. For a 19 year old leading the line for the biggest club in the world in one of its toughest fixtures of the season, I will find no fault in anything he did yesterday. The standing ovation he was showered with when substituted was deserved and justified. I just expect him to kick off from here. The stone's been rolled away - there's no going back to the tomb. He would have been my co-Man Of The Match but for...

Ander 'The Eraser' Herrera.

The one who has been redeemed. Sent off in the previous match-up in the FA Cup for the very job he was now more intelligently able to perform, Herrera came into this game with a point to prove. Not since Darren Fletcher's lone winning goal, eerily again, against Mourinho's Chelsea (in his 1st coming/2nd season which halted their unbeaten run), after being scathingly criticised in that infamous Roy Keane MUTv interview, has a goal (and performance) meant so much to one player. Ammonia. Vinegar. Lye. Liquid bleach. Citric Acid. Ander Herrera - The most effective cleaning agents known to man. When you want to get rid of any toxic or hazardous chemicals, pick any of those guys mentioned above. In many ways, you could say he 'wiped the slate clean'. Completely nullified the most dangerous player in the league AND went ahead to get himself a goal too. Man-marking at its finest. But what for me gave him the sole Man Of The Match award? His 'diplomatic' response when asked if he handled the ball before laying the sublime assist for Rashford's goal;

"I didn't want to touch the ball with the hand, {Who actually does?}" Herrera said.

"I was running with my arms next to my body. I don't know if the ball touched my hand or not but it was not my intention. 

"In football {Not Basketball}, I think if you don't have the intention to touch the ball and you have your arms in a natural position,  it is not handball." {No, sir, it isn't.}

Take a bow, Don Ander. Take a bow.

Forget Mourinho's similar diplomacy in responding to whether this match meant a little bit extra because he was playing against his former team whom he moulded and gave their most satisfactory successes, a team that sacked him less than a season after winning the league for them and now boo him when he appears on the touchline while also administering a thrashing and a contentious win this season even as his replacement is hailed as the new 'Special One' while...Ok, you get the point - It mattered A LOT to him. 

I hope this positive aggressiveness can be carried on in our subsequent games. Not only against top opposition where there's some sort of personal vendetta but also against everybody else. Let's start with Anderlecht on Thursday...

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

*The Borrusia Dortmund team bus was bombed before its Champions League Quarter-finals 1st leg match-up against Monaco. Thankfully, no life was lost but Marc Batra suffered injuries to his hand. He is expected to make a full recovery. Dortmund lost the match which was hurriedly(?) rescheduled the next day, 2-3. The team however defeated Eintracht Frankfurt 3-1 in its home weekend tie. Football and life are two very different parallels. Play accordingly.

*The NBA Play-Offs have started. The Cavaliers narrowly edged the Pacers, Golden State spanked the Blazers, Chicago surprised the Celtics and the Bucks shocked the Raptors. As I had previously predicted, Harden's Rockets made slight work of Westbrook's Thunder. Westbrook put up decent numbers as usual but it's actually about winning. The MVP watch continues. For those who are still looking for answers. I have since made my conclusions on who the MVP should be...

* Highest earning professions in Nigeria include Accountants, (Petroleum)Engineers. Lawyers, Politicians, Doctors and Entertainment. But the current undisputed No. 1? Call it 'Umpiring'. Or 'Officiating'. Or just plain 'Whistle-blowing'.

S.L.O.P.P.Y.

"Remember me, I'm the one you danced with/

Remember how we danced so tight I could not let you go/I know it's been a long time, but I'm callin'/'Cause I've got to be with you (First you keep me waitin')/(Won't you let me know?) I've got to be with you/(Won't you let me know?)...

What do I do if I wanna get through to you?/
No matter how I try you always keep me waitin'/What do I do if I wanna get through to you?/
No matter how I try you always keep me waitin'.../"       - Phil Fearon & Galaxy, 'What Do I Do'.

The relationship between Manchester United and goals continues to spiral into new nadirs almost weekly. What the challenge is isn't even straight forward anymore. The goal (pun intended) is simple enough - put the ball through the opposition's net. You buy good players and develop academy players to make up your squad. You hire a reputable or promising manager to train the squad with the hope of obtaining some form of success in competitions entered for. You win by scoring more goals than the opposition either in normal time, extra time or penalty shoot-outs. Manchester United have a better squad than most. The fact that it also has a more expensive squad than almost any other team is irrelevant to this train of thought. But how these reputed professionals, with a proven coach, absolutely struggle in scoring goals has become a veritable head-scratcher.

Better than the last two administrations, this team creates chances. You have the goal-scoring legend that is Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who while in natural decline (even if he wouldn't admit so himself), still ponies up with more than his fair share of goals. Can he therefore be exempted from blame including in the game yesterday? Not exactly. He misses and scores important goals in equal proportion so there's some culpability there. Still, he's been an A -. 

Rooney is closer to retirement than prime, has long stopped being a starter and has recently been crocked so there's no salvation from that quarter. His eclipsing of Sir Bobby's record should be the highlight of his season and a reward for his longevity, however fractured the journey has been. 

Mata, a playmaker, while continuously played out of position by successive managers, has also weighed in with his own contributions with 10 goals in 38 appearances this season, He is currently injured and probably out for the rest of the season.

Mhkitaryan. An excellent footballer who has been a plus to the team. 9 goals in 31 appearances. His form has taken a hit of late but he still pops up to score important goals for the team as he did yesterday. He has also be very wasteful when presented with fantastic opportunities and there is no doubt that he needs to urgently improve on his 'non-complicated' finishing. 

Anthony Martial, after all my advocacy for his inclusion into the first team, has been a bit of a disappointment. Like the next player to be mentioned, he may be suffering from 2nd season blues but '2nd season blues' is not exactly a natural thing. Young players are expected to improve with time not stagnate or decline. Martial has all the attributes of great player; skill, pace, composure and intelligence but he seems to lack the mental fortitude to push to push for greatness. Take matters into your own hands when things get desperate. He is too willing to defer even when placed in good positions and consequently his goals return for a genuine wide forward this season, has been poor. Granted, he doesn't always start but he has also not made the best of the available opportunities.

Rashford is another one. A young forward blessed with searing pace and an eye for goal. He took England by storm 2nd half of last season and has since enjoyed a career fairy tale. His form this season though has ranged from average to atrocious. Perhaps the excuse proffered could be that he has been played 'out of position' on the flanks to accommodate Zlatan but this, I believe, is a necessary requirement and learning curve for any great modern striker. The good ones can play anywhere across the front three and it is something Rashford must learn. Even when given the opportunity to play as a centre-forward, he hasn't done very well. His decision making and finishing have been very 'Championship' level. He works very hard and so I expect him to do much better in coming seasons matches. 

Lingard Jesse. Recently signed an improved contract reputed to be worth about a 100 large ones per week. Hallelujah. I have since known that there are certain business narratives which particularly the bigger clubs cater to, wherein there's a marriage of corporate interests with actual footballing quality. See Schweinsteiger, Pogba and Adidas. Also English captain, Wayne Rooney. Lingard has been a life-long Manchester United boy and is now in the 1st team with a bit of good history on the side (The belter in the FA Cup final). The story of Manchester United promoting youth is one that must be perpetuated. Fill in the gaps. He's fast and has scored some fine goals for his boyhood club but does that justify this bumper contract extension? I don't think so. His goal contributions are not good enough (5 in 31) and I don't think he's an elite forward capable of pushing United to the next level.

The above summary of our forwards/wingers perhaps gives a hint into why there has been a dearth of goals but it is not at all conclusive. Against Anderlecht yesterday in the 1st leg of the Europa League Cup Quarter-finals, chance after chance went a-begging as usual and a defensive error by he-who-must-not-be-criticised in the 87th minute led to the barely deserved equaliser for the home team. Wash, Rinse. Repeat. 

Said the manager afterwards;

“If I was a United defender I would be very upset with the attacking players because they have to kill the game and they didn’t. The result should be much better and we can only blame ourselves because we had an easy game to play in the second half and didn’t play in attack with that instinct.

“We lost the ball easily too many times, we stopped our counter attacks because of sloppy touches, sloppy decisions. And then we gave them the opportunity to have some counter attacks and luckily our defenders were very much in the game and they resolved all these problems.

“You have to play more seriously. We put all together the performance of two or three of our attacking players and you squeeze not much juice out of it and the people behind were not focused.”

Anderlecht’s Dendoncker denies Manchester United win with late header 

Read more

He also named names.

“Marcus Rashford, Jesse Lingard, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Anthony, I think they were very similar." 

Captain Carrick's post match interview also had the word 'sloppy' used a record number of times.

World record fee player, Paul Pogba was poor again and had a clear cut chance that he should have buried. I look forward to his resurrection this season.

There's still a lot to play for in the 2nd leg at Old Trafford a week from now but it doesn't get easier from here - We welcome Champions-elect, Chelsea on Sunday in a blockbuster premier league tie. I only hope the poser in the above song is answered by then.

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Ex-Boy Cristiano Ronaldo on Wednesday became the first player to reach 100 goals in the UEFA Champions League. Two well taken goals against Bayern in Munich have given Real Madrid the advantage in the tie. I must admit that I had stopped being a fan of the Madeira wonder-man due to his stinking attitude on the pitch but give credit where due; CR7 is one of the most prolific goal scorers in football history and forces himself into the G.O.A.T. conversation. He may no longer be aesthetically pleasing but he's unparalleled in what he does best - score goals. Sign him up, Jose!

* Officiating has been a bit of a bummer in Europe this season, yes? Has it always been like this or is it getting worse? Griezmann scored a non-penalty from the penalty spot and Vidal sent the match ball to Santiago from the same spot because Daniel Carvajal had the temerity to get his chest in the way of Ribery's goal-bound shot. There have also been a litany of such cases in the domestic leagues. Where art thou, Video Assistant Referees?

* The NBA Play-offs begin on Saturday. Woof!

* Happy Easter Holidays!

Some Respite...

Whew.

Rain is liquid. Blood is red. Smoking kills. 'Illmatic' is the greatest hip-hop album of all time. Bryan Cranston can act. Cristiano scores penalties. Reality TV is fake. Dogs are man's best friends.

That's just the natural position of things. Any alternate claim would be highly doubtful and an aberration to the existing order. But when you've had as topsy-turvy (not to mention, 'weird') a type of season as we are having, you can be forgiven for exhaling loudly in relief when you spell your own name correctly.

Manchester United dutifully beat David Moyes' Sunderland 0-3, a scoreline which nevertheless did little to mask the now obvious deficiencies in this team in utero. There is still an over-reliance, or Ibra-dependence, on Zlatan, Mkhitaryan's form, in spite of the goal, has dropped a couple of notches, Pogba is going from bad to worse (I'm now actually concerned as to whether he would ever be able to justify his transfer fees, football-wise), the midfield was too mechanical and there was no synergy in  the attack. Whatever. At this stage in the season, the points are all that matter and there were 3 goods one obtained on Sunday.

The manager, part rabble-rouser, part humour merchant, selected Marouane Fellaini as the team captain for the day. Bless the Lord, O my soul. Robson. Bruce. Cantona. Keane. Neville. Vidic. Rooney *. These have been the established captains of United in the Premier League years. Indeed, there have been sub-captains, honorary captains and injury/suspension enforced captains of varying quality during these periods but where, for whatever reason, a Marouane Fellaini has to don the arm-band, you must admit that we are scrapping the bottom of the leadership barrel. United has lacked a leader both in on-field persona and quality (No slight to Wayne but he assumed the role well past his sell-by date) and it is imperative that this is addressed, void sentiments, over summer.

Some statistics have been passed around suggesting that Fellaini had a 'productive' game. Something about completing passes and successful tackles...which of course would mean that Mikel Obi has been the best midfielder in the Premiership for the last decade. We actually watched the game so that stat sheet can better serve as wino tissue. There's a general air of depression that pervades when such decisions are made that transports one back to the Moyes' era and the worst of LvG's and it would be in Mourinho's best interests not to agitate the fans. Eccentricity is better tolerated when there's a fair level of excellence attached to it. For a manager who is still struggling with performances and even results to a certain extent, it is never advisable to provide the very rod that would be used for your  own back.

Rashford came on to score the 3rd and final goal in the last minute of normal time. His first league goal since November. It would do his confidence a world of good and I do not anticipate that it would take him a similar period to score the next one even though none of the remaining opposition are half as charitable as Sunderland. This season has been a steep learning curve for the lad and it should prepare him better for the next. There's a useful engine and brain box in that long wiry frame.

De Gea sat this one out due to a "hip injury" according to his manager. Romero is also supposed to reclaim his Europa league starting position against Anderlecht on Thursday. Could it be that it was the goofs of the previous 2 games that necessitated this rest? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But everybody needs clear-head time. De Gea has earned his.

The match was of course made easier by Seb Larsson's red card in the 43rd minute. He lunged into Herrara's shin, not particularly viciously, but you can understand why the referee sent him off. Playing against 10 men could be a nuisance at times but thankfully, the team was able to comfortably manoeuvre past this crop-circle. United was always in control and had several chances to butter up the scoreline. While I do not think goal difference would be a factor in the 4th place pursuit, it is certainly healthy to get a bit more numbers in the 'Goals For' column.

Arsenal have extended their yearly February/March capitulation and any team can have reason to applaud when Bravo's in goal for City. Chelsea, Spurs and Liverpool (?) look assured of at least 3 of the 4 Champions League spots but there's still a viable battle for that last one. Practically speaking, is the foot race still worth it? I don't think so. It would be excellent and probably be Mourinho's biggest achievement in his first season but I'm not keeping my fingers crossed - The Europa route is much easier. Unto Thursday we go then...

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Breaking!!! FBarcelona is out of the UEFA Champions League. Nowhere was it written that Lazarus was resurrected twice. The manager with one talent was also rebuked by his employer and shown the door. The parable still holds good.

* Vvrrrroooom! Red Bull gives you wings! And Max Verstappen. One to watch on the Formula 1 circuit. He's 19 years old and drives like a seasoned pro. Ran a race over the weekend that can aptly be described by this song. It's King Hamilton's to lose this season though.

* Brodie makes history. With his 42nd triple-double (50 points, 15 rebounds and 10 assists) of the season, Russell Westbrook is now the sole record holder of most trey-deuces in a season. He hasn't done his MVP prospects any harm (Still Harden, for me) and did I mention that he came clutch in that game too? The first round play-off tie with Harden's Rockets will be legendary box office. Congratulations, Adam Silver. Congratulations, fans.

* Lukaku or Kane?

  

Of Puppets And Prozac Pills...

“Some persons are by nature unduly timorous and imagine every path beset with lions; others, of more robust temperament, fail to foresee or nonchalantly disregard even the most obvious dangers. The reasonable man is presumed to be free both from over-apprehension and from over-confidence.”

- Lord Macmillan in Corporation of Glasgow v Muir [1943] 2 ER 44 House of Lords

Here we go again.

We needed a win. At home. Against Everton, who just got slayed by their eternal rivals and have an injury list as lengthy as ours. Everton have won once in Old Trafford in the last gazillion years. In the starting line-up? Zlatan Ibrahimovic was back. Hurrah. So was Herrara. Hhhmmm. But then...Ashley Young at right back? What happened to Valencia? He was very tired after all the South American World Cup Qualifier exhaustions. Fair enough. Danny Blind at left back? Suitable. After all, a specialist is always better than a wind-up toy. More on that later.

In the middle, Carrick and Fellaini. Gasp. 2 largely immobile holding midfielders, one still admittedly adept at passing and reading the game while the other, basically an emergency plan B to get the ball into the opponent's net (usually to get an equaliser) when all else fails?  Was this necessary? Why so ultra-conservative/negative in a game you should be on the front foot? Perhaps the reason was because we had a forward trident of the likes of MSN, BBC, MTV or any of those cable station acronyms to plunder in the goals...

Ok, no. We have since accepted that we do not yet have a world-class forward line but at least we were going to wear our Sunday Tuesday best and correspondingly put our best foot forward...and so we started Rashford, aforementioned Zlatan and Lingard! What happened to Mkhitaryan? Well, according to his manager, mad scientist, Dr. Jose 'Herbert West' Mourinho, he was not "pleased with his performance" against West Bromwich Albion on Saturday and so he was dropped to the bench. This apparently spoke majorly to the sitter Mikki missed which he really should have scored...same which can be said at one point or the other of virtually every other forward player in the team. So why the double standards? Mkhitaryan is easily the most dynamic player in the team and in my opinion, if there is one player who should be afforded a latitude of  opportunities for redemption, it should be him. But no, Fellaini is a better 'fit' for the manager's ideology and his performances have apparently been very 'pleasing' to him. And Anthony Martial? There was clearly no way he was going to usurp the teacher's pet and all-round hard-worker (Note - I know at least 4 'hard-workers' for Championship new-boys, Sunderland), Marcus Rashford in the stakes of  'pleasing' performances'. It doesn't matter that Rashford has found it difficult scoring goals and is obviously bereft of confidence. Would a rest (and some sort of protection) be ideal for the young man at this time? Not at all. Like General G. S. Patton would have ordered, "Back to the front lines, you wusses!" The solution to battle-induced nerves is exposure to more battle.    

But wait a minute...we wanted to win this match, didn't we? Certainly, a draw could not have been the intention. Why then would we choose to field this kind of line up knowing fully well what the challenges have been all season? An experiment? Ego? Double-agent? Fear of the opposition? Genuine confusion?

"Omelettes, eggs. No eggs, no omelettes. And it depends on the quality of the eggs in the supermarket. They are class one, two or three and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. When the class one eggs are not available you have a problem."

The result of this match was already as obvious as the line-up was intended. That's what makes these kinds of results so frustrating and stomach-churning. From the events of the dawn, you could easily predict what dusk would bring. 

Of course, Zlatan was going to miss a sitter. So did Rashford even if he was already flagged offside. Herrara hit the bar when he probably should have scored. Pogba, a 2nd half sub for Blind, did too as customary. Joe Robles became a superman. The linesman ruled out a valid Zlatan goal. Everton put 10 men behind the ball. The ball kept awkwardly bouncing of Fellaini. Lingard kept crossing into the first man or to the opposite corner flag. Same ingredients, same dish.

De Gea, who several times in recent weeks seems to lose concentration, dozed off for the comical Everton goal. He also failed to come off his line early at least twice and almost gave Rojo a heart attack. Bailly and Rojo were excellent and kept Lukaku in check. Still no equaliser.  And then something strange happened...

Literal left-back, Luke Shaw (or his likeness) came on for the injured Ashley Young. The Stretford End roared its approval. Now, I know most of you didn't see this but my television has been CIA-modified to give me a much more, let's call it 'intimate' view of screen proceedings which come in particularly useful during football games. So I'll tell you this; there was a small orange sensor attached to Shaw's head which received signals from a miniature server in Mourinho's right hand. When Mourinho whispered a specific instruction, Shaw did exactly same. 'Cross', Shoot', 'Mark', 'Jump'. Unfortunately for every couple of seconds something else took Mourinho's attention, Shaw stood still motionless and morose, saliva dripping from his mouth like a rabid squirrel. Fortunately, bar Anthony Martial giving him the evil eye, Mourinho wasn't often distracted for too long. Shaw would have been reduced to a bumbling mess in front of millions of viewers.

Mourinho's final instruction to his puppet was 'shoot' which was what led to the penalty in the 94th minute. Ashley Williams was sent off. Ibrahimovic coolly converted. 1-1. Game over. Now 20 matches unbeaten. 10 draws (8 at home), 10 wins. Semi-invisibles (both in the undefeated streak and in goal-scoring). 

For large parts of the 2nd half, Manchester United (Manchester United!!!) resorted to lumping the ball into the box in the hope that either Zlatan or Fellaini fortuitously connected with it. It was very sad to see. There was no other strategy to be employed. Mourinho really needs to ask himself some tough questions. This wasn't a matter of unavailable players. There was enough, ahem, talent on the pitch and on the bench to play much better football.

Said Mr. Modern day Geppetto of Pinocchio;

"He was in front of me and I was making every decision for him, He has to change his football brain...We need his fantastic physical and technical qualities but he cannot play with my brain," he sniffed (knowingly fully well that no footballer born of a woman could handle such an advanced organ.)

"He must accelerate the process. 21 is old enough to have a better understanding. He has a future here but Manchester United cannot wait."

It is not very likely that the wooden puppet would be afforded the opportunity to transform into a real boy. No lie.

While the latter statement is unarguable, Mourinho unfortunately still struggles to gag himself from making comments like the former which are just plain beyond the pale. He basically called Shaw a zombie and/or a moron. Mourinho keeps digging these holes for himself both in the criticisms of his players and in his line-ups/tactics. He always seems to want to take his critique and strategy just a little bit past acceptable boundaries.

The quest to win should be greater than the desire to not lose. 38 draws in 38 games can still get you relegated. As much as I may appreciate a large part of the structure put in place, I can't get caught up in the whole faux-unbeaten thing like it's something to aim for. Ironically enough, for all the visual progress we `can see, Mourinho's record is eerily similar to Van Gaal's at same period. Actually LVG's is slightly better. And Mourinho also had a head start, the luxury of adequate time to analyse what needed to be done to fix this team. While there have been some advancements particularly with his signings, with the results, using his own words, 'Manchester United cannot wait' It simply hasn't been good enough.

Some of us may have given up hopes on a top 4 finish and pinned our hopes on the Europa route but please still give us something to work with towards next season.  

If the index finger is pointed at others, the other three are pointing at you. Over to you, Jose.

Next Stop: Away to relegation-bound Sunderland on Saturday. (Surely, we can must win this?!!)  

Signing Out,

B.L

In Other News:

* Bayern Munich lost 1-0 to Hoffenheim. So?

* Human dynamo, Russell Westbrook has equalled the triple-double record of the legendary Oscar 'Big O' Robertson (41). There are 5 games left. Expect him to break the record. That said, James Harden is still my MVP. Curry's late push would would not been enough to earn him a hat-trick of MVP honours but it does make Western Conference Play-Off match-ups very interesting. And Durant comes back this weekend. Also expect LeBron to take it up several notches when the play-offs begin. Game on.

* Chelsea play Manchester City in London this evening. I hope they both lose. 

*"Maybe it's a sign of weakness/ when I don't know what to say

Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength anyway/
Have we become a habit? Do we distort the facts?/
Now there's no looking forward/
Now there's no turning back..." - Pat Benatar 'We Belong'.