EFL Cup Champions 2016/17!!

"Laws are like sausages; (it is) better not to see them being made" - Otto von Bismark

"Keep on learning/Keep on growing
'Cause wisdom helps us understand
We're maturing/Without Knowing
These are the things that change boys to men..."  - New Edition 'Boys To Men'.

In what was an utterly pulsating 94 minutes, Manchester United finally emerged as the English Football League Cup Champions. And boy, what a game it was! The visuals of the Grand-daddy of them all, the imperious Zlatan Ibrahimovic, hunched for several minutes after the final whistle, unable to fully celebrate the victory after exerting and stretching every sinew and muscle on his giant frame, perfectly summates the performance yesterday. There was nothing left in the tank after it was all over. Think Thriller in Manila. Jon Voight in 'The Champ'. The surgery was a success but the patient is dead. Kind of.

Jose Mourinho's eyes post-match were also very telling. While he likes to play the laconic stoic manager after most title victories, you could see that he was somewhat genuinely embarrassed that his side won this very peculiar game in 90 minutes, even at all. But in retrospect, the grizzled veteran would be very familiar with the undulation and indeed unfairness of football matches and would down low give himself a pat on the back. Or ask Rui Faria, his assistant, to help him do it.

Now, the game itself was certainly not pretty from a Manchester United perspective. We were 2 goals up after 38 minutes without doing too much offensively except from being...clinical! (eek!) This is something I would never have thought we would be accused of this season. 3 shots in the 1st half. 3 shots on target. Un-be-lie-vable. It was generally an approach of containment rather than control. Southampton, clearly, were much fresher being that United had played 2 games since the last time the Saints took to the pitch and this was obvious from the onset. It was therefore expected to a certain extent that they would be physically dominant . Nathan Redmond and Ryan Betrand, ordinarily pacy players, would of course be largely unplayable on the left flank. Consequently, criticising Mata, ordinarily leisurely-paced, for being unable to lay a finger on the opponent's midfielders may not be necessary. The continuing incompetence of Chris Smalling as top-level centre half was going to be a secondary factor here. We all knew before now that Rojo was not a left back so constantly seeing him left in wake on the seat of his pants was not strange. Ward-Prowse was a constant menace with his deliveries and the excellent Gabbiadini, who even had a legitimate goal chalked off, kept leaving our defenders in a matrix but... 

Experience, when acquainted with Lady Luck, provides for a very satisfying conclusion. While Southampton did most of the huffing and puffing, Manchester United knew where the remote control was. Using another boxing analogy, this was also the Rumble in the Jungle, Foreman delivering the power shots and leading on points but Ali having the rope-a-dope strategy and knock-out combination to win the contest. And United's rope-a-dope strategy was basically this - Manchester United had Zlatan on the field. Southampton did not.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 

A statue should immediately be erected for this man if ('IF') United also win the Europa, FA Cup and achieve a top 4 finish. His legend increases by the day and without the risk of being repetitive, he's been the difference between our challenging all fronts (1 down, 3 to go) and another mediocre season. He towers literally and figuratively over the rest of the team and it's a bit...'worrying' that we are largely dependent on what Zlatan does (or does not do.).

That said, I think he should leave at the end of the season.

Controversial? Maybe. But these are my reasons:

1. It is never a good thing when a team is utterly reliant one player.

2. With his kind of persona, it is inevitable that his teammates will ALWAYS defer to him.

3. Zlatan is 35 years old. It's a miracle what he's doing now and I'm happy about it. But don't expect him to progressively get better. It's called the 'Law of Nature'.

4. If the club is correctly in the market to get another crack striker, can it afford to pay £12 million per year to who should eventually become a substitute? Even if it can, is it wise?

5. Do we want to persist with the game play moulded solely around Zlatan as it currently is or do we want to be progressive? Look to the future rather than rely on the past? Or is Mourinho interested in only spending 3 years certain, no extensions? Then that would make sense...

But this is perhaps not the time for this sort of discussion. We are the EFL Champions! The entire team has shown resilience and a strong mentality to go through each successive game with only 3 or 4 days interval since December. It is easy to criticise but props must be given where and when due. Other teams including the league champions-elect have the luxury of fielding a fresh team for every game but we've needed to mix and match, shuffle, rest, patch up and manage our team. I believe the experience will also fortify the younger players and make them even more desperate for trophies. I see growth. Long may it continue.

Congratulations Manchester United, The EFL Cup Champions for 2016-17!!

     

Next - Bournemouth on Saturday at Old Trafford. Lunch time kick-off. We proceed...

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Claudio Ranieri was eventually sacked by the Board of Leceister City. Emotionally the wrong decision but practically the right one. Football, which has since lost a large portion of its soul to cash, is now fundamentally a business. They may yet be relegated but management is also about tough decisions - something had to give way immediately to stop the slide. Still, name a portion of the stadium after him and erect his statue. Club Legend.

*Harry Kane is turning out to be a very good *insert caveat* English striker. You can't fault the numbers and his effort locally but maybe that famous"quotion" should be flipped; Can he do it on a warm Sunday night in Basque country?

* Juventus won. Bayern won by 8 in Carlo Ancelloti's 1,000th game as a club manager and Paris St. Germain is gaining ground in the Ligue Un. All is well in the world and the earth is round, Kyrie Irving. (Did I mention that Celtic also won? I didn't? Oh, sorry, they did.)

  

"...Never In Trouble And They've Eased Through To The Round Of 16..."

...And with those words, the match commentator perfectly summarised the latest fixture of the Manchester United-Alternate-Route-to-the-UEFA-Champions-League Project which was played against St. Etienne at the vibrant Stade Geoffrey-Guichard yesterday. 0-1 it ended, with the lone goal scored by the excellent Henrikh Mkhitaryan in the 16th minute. 0-4 on aggregate. Into the pot for the Round of 16 draws. Soft work. Slight work. Job done.

The line-up was as expected: A mixture of  first teamers and bench warmers to give the appropriate balance of seriousness and a winking acknowledgement of comfort. Romero was in goal, Young started at right back and Fellaini in the midfield. Zlatan however started to serve as a present goal threat to the hosts. If you were expecting a Noisy Neighbour v Monaco treat, this game wasn't for you and that was exactly how we liked it. No agitations, no pulse-racing moments, no resurrection of side-lined strikers, no comical defending - just control. And we had the perfect manager for just that type of job.

After Mikki scored the technically brilliant but simple goal, the tie was over as a contest. St. Etienne needed 5 goals to advance and except they were somehow able to rush through the retrospective transfers of Lionel Messi, Xavi Hernandez, Andres Iniesta, Pedro Rodriguez and David Villa (and in prime form. Not with Florentin Pogba or Aston Villa flop, Jordan Veretout), they was no way a Jose Mourinho team was going to concede a handful without returning at least one. So that was  a done deal. 

(Dethroned) King Bailly (insert angry emoticon) made 2 absolutely bone-headed tackles within the space of 180 seconds and correctly earned himself a red card. The tackles were needless, at neutral areas of the pitch and unnecessary considering the scoreline and the level of control we were exerting over the opponents. The textbook case of 'rush of blood to the head'. Thankfully, it was 'only' a red which honest watchers would agree has been long overdue for our defence titan. (I still think he may one day be charged for assault and have civil claims filed against him with the way he tackles). He misses the 1st leg of the Round of 16 tie. A bit of carelessness has been creeping into his game in the last couple of matches and I hope this will serve as a no-snooze wake up call.  Rant over. Still the best defender in the club.

"O' Calf and Hamstring Injuries, Where are thy stings?"

In the only downsides to the routine victory, Mikki and Michael Carrick have cupped hamstring and calf injuries respectively. More damaging is the injury to Mikki who gives United an added dimension no other player in the team possesses. He is in many ways the X-factor in the side and there is no doubt that we would be a poorer side with his absence. How long does it take for a strained hamstring to heal? He's almost certainly out of the Sunday final and possibly the Bournemouth league tie, the Chelsea FA Cup blockbuster and the 'Borough away game. I imagine it's the manager's job to immediately start to figure out alternative strategies.

Carrick's loss is a bit more manageable to the extent that he has since stopped being a starter and now comes in fundamentally to replace Ander Herrara who was (1) suspended for the game and (2) needed a rest. The calmness, composure and technique of the veteran in that quarter-back role has however been a viable option in varying the team's game play. Lest we forget, it was the introduction of Carrick that steadied the ship when the team was on a losing streak earlier in the season. 

We can't have both players back soon enough.

Coronation at Wembley?    

Let's be honest, the (potential) English Football League Cup is not ordinarily a trophy that a club of our stature should be excited about. Heck, we gave up participating in the FA Cup a.k.a. Greatest Cup in the world, in 2000 just so we could win the FIFA-plaything World Cup Cup. But the reality is that...things have changed. Sadly? Not really. The league is now as competitive has it has ever been. The chasm between Manchester United and other clubs has since closed up and has even threatened to envelop us. We've been on an unbeaten run in the league since October 2016 and we are still 6th. If that doesn't tell you something, nothing else will.

So a trophy of any shape and form is a welcome addition at this point. Grab what you can. In a room full of ravenous ill-bred (not to mention, disrespectful) brothers, any slice of bread you can snatch from the loaf is a positive. Also trophies and cups give the fans and the club a boost the attainment of a top 4-non-winners spot cannot give. It's not to suggest that winning a trophy and coming 6th would be a 'good' season, but rather that a trophy is a sideways step of improvement. Manchester United belongs in the Champions League and that is a sacred mandate for any manager that assumes the reins at the club. 

That said, I'm looking forward to a fantastic game of football which would end with Smalling/Rooney/Valencia (Good Lord...those are our captains?) hoisting the trophy. 

Clock in at 5.30 pm on Sunday, the 26th of February, 2017. Glory, Glory, Man United...    

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Football legend and all-round good guy, 'Bobby' Baggio turned 50 (fifty!) earlier in the week. One of the (now increasing) few to have played for the the big trident in Italy: Juventus, AC and Inter Milan. With more than 300 career goals, the Divine Ponytail will best be remembered by me for the couple he scored in the 2nd Round tie in the 1994 FIFA World Cup where he broke millions of Nigerian hearts. My brother kept punching his poster on the wall when the 2nd goal went in during extra time. Raw pain. And inflicted by the one he loved... 

*Referenced earlier, the Pro Evolution Soccer 2017 football game between City and Monaco was a highlight of the week. 5-3, the final score but you could easily multiply the scoreline by 2 and there would be no exaggeration. Petulant Pep should please hold on firmly to his beliefs that 1. Aguero is the past. Jesus is the present and the future. 2. John Stones is world-class. 3. Bravo for Bravo and kudos for Caballero. 4. You do not need defenders in modern football. Well played! Keep at it, sir!

*In an era where it seems people don't want to know (facts) but would rather want to believe (prejudice/'opinion'), where do you stand? Do you think your utterances and submissions, particularly on social media (who never sleeps or forgets) will be defendable in any number of years? Are you controlled by your id or ego? Do you research information presented to you or do you play 'fastest fingers' and fire off without a second thought? Do you want to think about this or have you since stopped reading? 

  

That Je Ne Sais Quoi...

"What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs,

And stare as long as sheep or cows...

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,

And watch her feet, how they dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare."

"Leisure" W.H. Davies.

Another untidy performance but yet another significant progress made. The FA Cup 5th Round. Blackburn Rovers 1 Manchester United 2. Ahh...sometimes, it is important to just savour the satisfying result without conducting a post-mortem or professorial analysis into what could have been done better or improved, 'sometimes' being the operative word. It is all the more an exercise in futility when the spots of bother are well known and as obvious as keys to Khaled. We by now know that Matteo Darmian has no business in this team. Smalling and Young, so aptly named, should not be starters and at least one should be looking at departing the club come summer. Herrara needs a rest and Lingard is not good enough. (What exactly does 'squad player' mean? I was of the opinion that it meant a player who while not exactly good enough to be included in the 1st team, could deputise or fill in reasonably well when called upon. I don't think Lingard has consistently shown that. Ever grateful for No. 12 though...).

There really is no need going into all of that.

So instead I'll kick my feet up, fingers interlocked behind my head and reflect on the scarcely believable fact that this work-in-progress has lost just once since the 6th of November, 2016 (and in an academic and controversial game against Hull) in all competitions and has found ways, all kinds of ways, to grind out result after result. There have been those niggling draws along the way but rather a point than none, right? If we can't win, we make sure we do not lose. Fair policy even if we are in no doubt as to what is at stake.

There have been games where we resurrected from the dead (Stoke. Rooney 250, Liverpool), games where, ahem *cough* the ball just refused to go in (West Ham {November} and Hull in the league), games where we got late winners (Middlesbrough and Palace) and games where we bludgeoned the opposition (Reading, Wigan and Leicester).

In all of this, there have been two major personalities who, hate it or love it, have arguably been largely responsible for this remarkable run.

I recognise that football is a performing art and the players always bear the primary responsibility for what transpires on the pitch. The coach may come up with bad tactics and/or formations but he (or she) cannot be responsible for the inability of a professional footballer to pass accurately to his team mate, pass the ball into the net from 6 yards or punt the ball up-field when under pressure. No, Sir, managers can't be responsible for these. Common sense is also aware of this which is why there's almost always a sandstorm over who wins the Balon D'or rather than the FIFA Manager of the Year. Except in our exceptional case where our manager is as box office as the players, nobody really shells out a fortune to go to the stadium to see David Moyes debut his new hairstyle or check out Arsene Wenger's new parka.

With this in mind, I shall start with the self-proclaimed Indiana Jones, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the Swede giant who continues to write himself into the history books and Manchester United folklore. 24 goals in 36 appearances so far. Crucial goals too and not in, using basketball parlance, 'garbage-time'/cherry-on-the-top goals. Our Mr-Fix-It. He's 35 years old. He, like Henrik Larsson before him (coincidentally a Swede too. Must be something in their water), has shown that if you have talent and take care of your body, you can go on at the highest level for quite a while. No pun intended but no sub. We also know all about the longevity of our legends Giggs and Scholes.

The pace has gone a bit and he can be a passenger at times (I've criticised him several times for this) but he almost always still scores. It's that plain and simple - Zlatan scores goals. He misses a hatful of chances per game but he still scores. Somehow, he just does it. And he has done it everywhere he has played. A current career total of 416 goals in 713 games is nothing to be sniffed at and this attests to incredible efficiency and durability. And he wins things along the way. A league title every where he has played. There are two ways of looking at it: He has only been very fortunate in playing with some of the biggest teams in the world at the time of their domestic dominance (He's still yet to win the UCL. Oddly) or he's simply a very fine player. I lean on the side of the latter.

There are players who it is seems the ball is just magnetically attracted to. In a melee in the 6/18 yard box, the ball somehow always ends up at their feet/body part. Gerd Muller was one of those. Romario. Lineker. Filipo Inzaghi. Ruud van Nistelrooy. Poachers. You can't teach it. It's innate. Except for Romario on this list, what Zlatan had over these other fellows is that, in his prime, he combined that poacher's ability with technique that meant he could even conveniently play as a 10. Combined with his size and athleticism, you had a deadly Swede army knife. Certainly only his infamous arrogance, which sometimes bordered on aloof in the biggest games, prevented him from being at least a perennial Balon D'or contender.

United is currently enjoying the benefits of this great and it is imperative that the young guns milk as much as they can from him as long as they can. The big man is at the twilight of his career and I still believe that the team should be gradually weaned from relying on him to rescue them every time. It would be one of Mourinho's major assignments this summer. Speaking of which...

Jose Mourinho. Jose Mario dos Santos Mourinho Felix. A vile man. Anti-football. A cancer to the game. All in his former life, of course. A serial winner. Unarguably one of the most successful managers in the history of the game. It may not be pretty, it may leave you feeling short-changed or even cheated but he wins. For him, end of. Funny enough, same could be seemingly said about our not-so-dearly departed Louis van Gaal. He has indeed won a title/trophy in every league he has managed but while he employed a certain 'philosophy' in pursuit of his achievements, Mourinho is as methodical as they come. If LvG is the lullaby to get you to sleep, Mourinho is the valium. A pragmatist to the core, he is ready to leave every spectator deeply dissatisfied as long as he accomplishes his singular aim, which is 'to win'. He may utilise ultra-defensive tactics, be reactionary rather than pro-active, instruct his players to waste time and generally nestle in the ear of the 4th official but any way that would produce the desired result is a viable way for Mr. Mourinho.

But do not for a second think this is a simple as it sounds. If it were, Tony Pulis would be on the cusp of his 6th consecutive UCL Quarter-finals. There is an effective tactical nous which ensures that his teams are at the top or always thereabouts when its reward season. This is not coincidence. His resume speaks for itself. He is at a new phase in his career where he has to adapt to the culture of the football team he is managing rather than impose his instinctive will on team. It has been gradual and still infuriating at times but slowly and hopefully surely, he will get 'there'.

This is also the first time Mourinho has embarked on a campaign without playing a settled XI ,injuries permitting. He is now more willing to experiment maybe because of his immediate past experience where he discovered the amazing consequences of absolute player-power. A separation of powers as it were, has become necessary.

All in all, he has led the club to its most impressive run since the days of Sir Alex. On Sunday, he will hopefully lead the club to its first (or second, depending on who you ask. The Community Shield counts.) title of the season. We can argue and complain about the sometimes tenuous road which has led to this path but give the man his due, he has that thing that always puts him in a position to win. And for that alone, I celebrate him today.

The prayer continues to be that our two serial winners enjoy good health and sound mind (x 2) while shepherding the team to victory after victory. That's all I can ask for now.

So we got Chelsea in the FA Cup next. Je m'en fiche. We'll take it as it comes.

Next up - St. Etienne away in the 2nd Leg of the Europa League Cup (a.k.a Alternate Route) Round of 32. We hold a 3-0 first leg advantage. Bonne chance.

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Anybody that can provoke Carlo Ancelloti to flip the bird is a dangerous person. Arrest him.

*The (Other) Jarrius Robertson Story of the Weekend - Pescara in the Serie A. Yet to win a game this season before the weekend's fixtures. Rock bottom, of course. Sacked their coach and employed the services of Znedek Zeman, a one-time Roma coach. Thrashed Genoa 5 - 0. Easy peasy. There's some life in the old dog yet.

*Playlist for winners:

1. Easy - The Commodores
2. Overcome - Tye Tribbett
3. Alright - Kendrick Lamar
4. Chardonnay Music - Falz
5. Dreams and Nightmares (Intro) - Meek Mill
6. I'm Hot (Gbono Feli Feli Remix) - M.I
7. Holding On - L.T.D
8. Love Is The Seventh Wave - Sting
9. Mortal Combat - Big Daddy Kane
10. Every Kinda People - Robert Palmer 

The Most Important Thing Is...?

What do you want from life?

Love? Growth? Happiness? God? Money? Pleasure?

Okay. All good and omnibus but...

If I asked what you wanted right now, depending on the current situation you find yourself, the answer would widely vary. It could be N10 million naira, £10 thousand dollars, a job, a new job, answered prayers, a new president, realised investments, extended deadlines, a pet, healing and even for some, a new manager.☺(more on that later...)   

The request is usually predicated by the need.

It is with this prism that I would view the reality football show put on yesterday by Manchester United against St. Etienne in the 1st leg of the Round of 32 in the Europa League Cup. A home win was required. Check. Make that 'comfortable' home win. Check. A clean sheet. Check. No new injuries to speak of. Check. Mission accomplished.

In what was an enjoyable game especially for the neutrals and especially for the Pogba family. Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored a hat-trick in spite of having a meh game, the first from a deflected free kick which advanced over the line in ultra-slow motion, the second, a tap-in similar to a chance he had previously squandered and the third an authoritatively well-taken penalty. While Zlatan can sometimes be a source of great irritation with his Berbatov-ish demeanour and approach to football (at least he has the excuse of advancing age), goals are what the club desperately needs and goals are what the Zlatan delivers, more often than not. 23 so far for the season in all competitions. Robin Van Persie gave us a total of 30 in our last title-winning season. (Conservative) Criticisms of his contributions to some games are valid but you simply can't fault the value and volume of his still rising goal haul.

The other headliner of the day, Paul Pogba also had a fairly efficient game. When not seeking out his older brother, Florentin at every opportunity for a laugh and ha-ha session, he did the basics correctly and hit the bar once even if it is arguable that he should have scored it. One could however accurately suspect that the back story of the family reunion and the sensationalism it occasioned, unconsciously took precedence in our No. 6's mind over the footballing business of the day. Mourinho confirmed as much during the ensuing press conference. Warren Joyce, the current Wigan manager, who coached the Manchester United youth teams for many years until recently, had previously warned Pogba not to let his off-field activities distract from his ambition to become the world's best player. In his words,

"He (Pogba) always wanted to be the best player in the world...He set his standards  to try and do that. I had a go at him a couple of times because he never tackled. But he's always had that inner drive to want to do that. Can he achieve it? That depends on him really. It depends whether he keeps having them stupid haircuts, and is involved in too many gimmicks of the field...it's up to him what he does...".

While I wouldn't necessarily agree that the 'stupid haircuts' (Messi has had several and currently has one) and off-field gimmicks (CR7 has tonnes) are the issue per se, Pogba seems to get deeply drawn into them rather than excel because of them. Though far more matured in his career, a Ronaldo would seek to score a hat-trick after signing a new deal or endorsement - Pogba withers under the spotlight or gets carried away because of.

My fear continues to be that Zlatan and Pogba, possibly the two most dominant personalities in the dressing room, act as the primary play-pulse to the rest of the squad. They approach the game somewhat lackadaisically, the rest of the team follow suit. They come for a carnival, Lingard the others also come wearing tu-tus waving colourful balloons. It may not be too dissimilar to the current state in Catalan country where you have the celebrated 'MSN' (Messi, Suarez and Neymar), three superstars who are the rudder, captain and coach of the Barcelona luxury yacht. Sometimes everybody forgets that only one man (at most 3. And that's even too much) is allowed to walk around and look disinterested and then everybody starts doing it. 11 'superstars', it then erroneously becomes. To be 4-warned is to be forearmed. Super Bowl Champs, New England Patriots attest that they have been able to have such long-running success because their star player and quarter-back, Tom Brady submits himself to be coached as intensely as the rest of his teammates by the stoic head coach, Bill Belchick. It's the best method to be employed in a team sport in my opinion. No off-day superstars. I tend to trust Jose on these sort of issues anyway...

What else?Anthony Martial, as usual, was electric and unplayable. His close control, at full sprint,  continues to be a sight to behold. We are watching you, Jose Mourinho. Nuff said. Luke Shaw should get his own protesters who wouldn't be two-faced and back down before d the steely special-one...

Ander Herrara had one of his worst performances in a United shirt. Gave the ball away with reckless abandon and collected a customary school boy booking that ruled him out of the return fixture. He's due a rest anyway.

The Jose Mourinho/Fellaini experiment failed again.

The back line was carved open over and over again particularly in the first half but for some poor finishing, the story and scoreline could have been very different. Even King Bailly was into it too. The manager was disgusted enough with what he saw to make a bee-line to the tunnel by the 43rd minute. The defending in the 2nd half was relatively much better and no goal was conceded. The goalkeeper of the day, Sergio Romero, has now not conceded a goal in his last 6 appearances dating back to September 2016.

Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford added much required speed to the game play and didn't need to be excellent to bring about a significant improvement.

One leg and an arm into the last 16. Today, that is the most important thing.

Blackburn Rovers next on Sunday in the FA Cup at Ewood Park. Poignantly, their club's motto is 'Arte et Labore' - 'By Skill and Hard Work'.

Signing Out...

B.L

In Other News:

* Even I sometimes blur the lines between emotion and objectivity. Heart vs Head. Wishes vs Reality. It is assumed difficult to detach from a long term relationship even if it has strong elements of emotional abuse and is downright unhealthy. If one has persisted for say, 20 years, why can't it just continue? "The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know". "Next year will be better. He/She will improve". 'Look at what happened to Manch...' "Money answereth all things. My ship is coming in soon and I'll be able to properly lubricate this romance". Blah, blah, blah and blah.

Rubbish.

This is a business relationship, Gooners. And by 'business', it involves (being competitive for) titles and trophies and not just a plump account balance. It's no longer about a false sense of 'loyalty' or 'stability'. Senor AW has run his course with this side. The statistics are as damning as the futile attempt to justify perpetual UCL qualification as a pro at this point. Severe the relationship while it can still be kind to all parties. You have become the marginalised clown student who eats in the toilet in a posh school not because he is being bullied or asked to do so but because he's stupid enough to believe that a bourgeoisie turd is the same thing as a sausage.

On second thoughts, keep at it. I need some entertainment before the next 'Game Of Thrones' season comes out...

* I've been accused of not saying too much on the Italian and German leagues. What's there to say? *spoiler alert* Juventus WILL win. They won last weekend and they will win this weekend. Higuain will probably score. Dzeko too. It's like the Scottish league where the Indomitable Celtics lead by as much as 50 points (Okay, I kid. 'Just' about half of that). 

Germany? Paraphrasing that great quote, the league is basically 18 teams competing for 8 months and then Arsenal's daddy (Editor - how puerile!) Bayern Munich are crowned champions. I understand Bet365 may have stopped taking punts on these leagues. C'est vrai? 

* For your delectable aural pleasure this weekend, listen to The Weeknd's 'Kiss Land' album...      



 

  

   

The Declaration Of Martial Law...

Perhaps only when Michael Carrick writes his auto-biography (He looks like the studious type), Wayne Rooney's is ghost-written or a Chelsea rat currently breeding in the Manchester United locker room snitches, may we fully understand the internal politics at play in some of the team selections in this 2016/17 season which is turning out to be quite remarkable.

There have been puzzling selections which are made further confounding when the rationale for such choices are explained.

Without pretending to be the manager, a superficial analysis of what is evidently required to make the team more efficient can be projected by majority of fans and these have so far been proved correct over the course of the season: Neither Smalling nor Fellaini should ordinarily be a starter (and I'm employing all the euphemism I can muster in that statement), Memphis Depay should be let go for his own good, Carrick should get game-time and there was no way a supposedly then not-up-to-scratch Henrikh Mkhitaryan could have been worse off than what was on show earlier in the season.

Two more seemingly obvious battles are still yet to be won in this regard. The first is making Juan Mata start from the right wing. I will be the first to admit that the team has mostly gotten away with it and has in fact looked pretty at times when employing this tactic but it's just not right that a slightly-built and slow world-class creator is shunted to the wing while a similarly gifted but speedy technician is played in the middle. Yes, Mikki has been productive in that role and indeed anywhere he has been asked to play but I dare say the effectiveness of the team can be improved by 200% if the roles are interchanged as we witnessed in the build up to the 1st goal against Watford yesterday.

The 2nd battle, which I have picked up as a personal campaign, is the apparent marginalisation of Anthony Martial. One match will of course never tell the full story but it has been further solidified that there is none better than Martial on the left side for United, the reasons which were fully on show yesterday and I have previously explained. Simply put, Martial is currently untouchable in that position. But in the words of the Mourinho;

"I'm happy with Anthony's last two weeks of work. The way he faced the work, hard work, with more concentration and more determination...That's why I gave him this gift, to start this game. Normally, after Leicester, I'd start with the same players and keep Marcus in the team. I just felt that Marcus doesn't need a boost because he's playing all the time. Anthony was maybe feeling a little bit down and needed a gift. He answered in the best way." 

If another non-English manager made the above statement, I would have dismissed some of the phrasings as translation gremlins. But Mourinho is a very smart witty man who uses apt literary figures of speech to drive home his points so his comments shall be evaluated exactly as stated:

1. "last two weeks of work" - Martial's last game before yesterday was a Man-of-the-Match performance against Wigan in the FA Cup where he provided 2 assists and generally terrorised Wigan's back (and waist) line. See match article here . Martial has also been involved in more EPL goals for United than any other player since his debut (22. 14 goals and 8 assists). I can not phantom just how 'lazy' Martial may have been in the last 2 weeks not to warrant a look in to the current United squad.

2. "...this gift, to start this game/needed a gift" - An outright insult. I simply can't interpret this in any other way. Martial has arguably been our most in-form attacker since the turn of the year. He merits his place in the starting line-up. Mourinho considering what should be an objective decision a 'gift' reeks of mischief and perhaps maybe the rumoured attempts to shunt the player out of the club are not so far-fetched after all...

3. "...I'd start with the same players and keep Marcus in the team"  - There are too many things wrong with this statement. Mourinho doesn't usually start with the same team whether after victory or draw. Check. Marcus has clearly not been that effective in that left-sided attacking role. Check. Talking about to "keep Marcus in the team" like it's an obligation rather than an unbiased decision. Check.

Add to the above the already developing paranoia of watching Zlatan and Pogba, the BFFs, several times ignore a free Martial and attempt to pass to each another even when in more constricted positions (however both somewhat regularly make ill-considered passes even when Martial is not on the pitch so...). Martial admittedly also made a couple of wrong final passes in the 18' which I suspect is due to the irrational habit of  our attackers attempting to locate Zlatan even when better placed to shoot or make runs. I kept yelling like at Martial to lift his now slumping shoulders and 'pepper dem' like I know only he can (Apparently, even his chief antagonist was screaming something similar) as any perceived sub-par or average performance could lead to a cruel justification of extended wood time.

Thankfully, Martial came good and ended the game with a goal, an assist, a resounding standing ovation from the Old Trafford faithful and a(nother) Man-of-the-Match award.

Mr. Jose Mourinho over to you. Do not let fickle emotions over-rule common sense. Remember your recent past. I still want to believe that you are a smart man...

To the game itself, despite what was stellar-football in the first 31 minutes, profligate finishing and 'supernatural' goalkeeping (I say this firmly tongue in cheek) meant the score-line remained goalless.  A Martial mis-kick. The Herrara balloon. Mikki's miss. Zlatan's land to air missiles and point blank saved header. Pogba's, (who had what can be positively termed a 'decent' game) close attempts. The mercurial Mata however came to the rescue by starting and finishing a very good goal in the 32nd minute. 

From then on, United was in control while playing one of its best matches of the season. De Gea had little to do, King Bailly was awesome as usual. Any other defender paired with Eric is the best defensive partnership for the team. He combines the power of Vidic with the silkiness of Rio. Arguably our best summer acquisition. Smalling was decent as was Blind. Herrara and Pogba were appropriate for an attacking formation holding midfield. The only "MMM" I support (Martial, Mata and Mkhitaryan) was excellent and should be the starting trident behind the striker. These fellows 'provide help' and 'get help' for each other.

Zlatan had one of those games that remind that a much mobile, younger and even clinical striker is required to execute the challenge of coming seasons. Zlatan is an excellent player without a doubt but just as true is the fact that he's at the sunset of his career and cannot be considered long term. He's been mostly the saviour in this campaign but he's just as responsible for some of those annoying draws. He's earned the extra year but the attack and indeed game-play should be gradually deconstructed from him as the focal point ("Hi, Rooney!").

Manchester United moved to 5th place for about 2 hours before reverting to 6th again. But it's a happy 6th in context. Only 2 points separate the 2nd to 6th placed teams. Spurs (2) and Arsenal (3) on 50, Liverpool (4) and City (5)(with a game in hand) on 49 and then United on 48. It's not a bad place to be. Considering United still get to play four of the top 5, a lot will rest on the results of those games as goal difference may not be in our favour and should not be relied on. These are the games that the manager should use to earn his pay. The squad is mostly settled now and the quality is not far below any of the other top teams. We are on the crest of an unbeaten 16-run wave and have momentum. Not only is top 4 achievable but the top 2 actually is. 

Our next EPL game is against Bournemouth on the 4th of March. We should hopefully be League Cup winners, into the Europa Cup Round of 16 and the FA Cup Quarterfinals by then. We shouldn't let this opportunity slip.

Next up is the Pogba family re-union on Thursday. United play St. Etienne at Old Trafford in the 1st leg of the Europa Round of 16. Pogba's elder brother, Florentin, is a centre-half for the French side. I expect him to have the more conservative hair-cut and result on the day. And the Reds keep marching on...

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Who has seen the movie 'The Birth Of A Nation' directed by and starring a before now relatively unknown Nat Parker? Without delving into the politics and controversies that later surrounded the release of the film, I think it is one of the most important films of our time. You will see how scriptures and indeed any set of rules or direction can be spun into dangerous propaganda to keep you enslaved. You will be reminded about the power of literacy and knowledge. You may begin to understand the difference between 'freedom' and 'liberty'. A powerful film I strongly recommend.

*Manchester City won the league 3 years ago ago and effectively sacked their manager before Christmas 2015. Chelsea won the league a year after and you-know-who was out of a job before year-end. Leicester City are the reigning champions... 

*Kevin Durant made his 1st return to Oklahoma since his vex-inducing trade to the 'enemy' Golden State Warriors. It was everything you expected and then some. Boos, 'cupcake' T-shirts, a smattering of cheers, an intensely emotional game, trash talking between Durant and triple-double accumulator, Russell Westbrook and of course some highlight reels. It wasn't however particularly competitive. The Warriors won by 130-114. They'll do it all over again next month.

And how was YOUR weekend?     

 

Like A Ray Of Sunshine On A Cold Gloomy Day…

I wasn’t very positive after 40 minutes. It is very easy to be scarred by past experiences. All the ingredients for the 'okra' stalemate broth were already on the kitchen table and ready for use:

ü A Psychedelic experimental formation (an odd variation of 4-4-2…for shame, Jose…for shame…);

ü Rashford on the left (Mourinho is no Mr. Bonner. But he has a unique way of encouraging his players who have had stinkers by ensuring they start/play the next game seemingly in defiance of the ‘Einsteins’. What better way to get the bad performance out of your system, right?);

ü Mata on the right;

ü Smalling’s enforced presence due to Jones’ injury (but wouldn’t a Bailly/Rojo pairing have been preferable?);

ü Points desperately needed to close the gap on the top 5.

The game started as pretty much expected. Leicester had their tails up and incessantly harried United off the ball on several occasions with the intention of launching the ball quickly to their speedy front 3 of Musa, Okazaki and Vardy. The under-sized Juan Mata was their favourite victim. In that initial spell, he was rarely allowed a second touch on the ball and coughed up the ball one time too many. You could tell by now that this particular tactic was once again going to spectacularly backfire if it wasn’t tweaked. It was in trying to make restitution for one of such turnovers that Mata dangerously lunged at Jamie Vardy in the 27^th minute and was extremely fortunate to have escaped with only a yellow card. An unarguable red in my book. Imagine if it was a United player tackled in same manner…

The passing at about same time was slow and often inaccurate. Zlatan couldn’t get the ball to stick. Rashford had to turn back several times from the road blocks set before him and when an exceptional opportunity to score arose, he fluffed his lines. Herrara was uncharacteristically fidgety in possession. and Pogba was Pogba – meandering without any urgent purpose. A commentator described him thus:

“…he has been really good in brief flashes for many games but he always dallies too much on the ball, almost as if he is preparing a montage for the YouTubers, he has some really good attributes- strength, decent pace for a midfielder, good aerially, technically excellent, amazing ball control, but why the hell can't he release the ball at the first opportunity? Midfielders like Modric and Iniesta, or even Carrick at this age, are so good at keeping the play ticking, by releasing the ball quickly into gaps, Pogba takes a touch turns around the same spot a few times pushes the one or two players who come for the ball, and either loses the ball or sends that Hollywood ball to Valencia…”

I couldn’t have put it any better. You get the impression that like current-form Neymar, he’s more interested in Vine moments than the most practical option.

The clouds had begun to gather storm and an inferno was brewing inside me. I was mad. Worse than David Beckham (Limited) discovering he was not going to be knighted. This was a chance too good to be missed. If we still held any hopes for a top 4 finish, this was an opportunity that simply couldn’t be let up. Another needless experiment was once again going to cost us dearly. However, the incorrigible Mourinho fortunately saw the (continuous) errors of his ways and midway through the half, switched formation to what has been the most fluid formation of his team – 4-2-3-1…

…and then succour came in the form of an Armenian ray of light in the 42nd minute. Swift, decisive and clinical. Arms flaying as he distinctively sprints glides, as soon as he was able to outwit Robert Huth and prod the ball past him, I correctly predicted that the outcome of that run would be similar to those in the Zorya Luhansk and Spurs games – a legitimate net shake. Goal. 

I often speak about the best players having the ability to 'vary the pace' of the attack as the key to breaking through double-decker buses parked by opponents. The unique technique to either burst into a sprint, quicken a pass and move, change direction and body shape or hold up the ball and appropriately release, as suitable for the occasion. Playing at a mono-pace, however effectively, will not unlock the tightest defences. Just ask Van Gaal. All the teams currently ahead of us on the table have several players capable of this gift. It is usually the difference between a cagey draw and a win. Mkhitaryan is one of the 2 players that possesses this skill at Manchester United. The other is PSG Summer-bound Anthony Martial.   

The goal was the equivalent of finally expressing pus from an uncomfortable ripe boil, the prick in the Leicester balloon of resistance. The atmosphere of relief in the away section of the stadium immediately became palpable. The Foxes were probably still contemplating on how to re-engineer a comeback in the second half when Zlatan struck the coup de grace 87 seconds after Mkhi's goal. Simple straightforward football. Valencia took on his defenders and crossed into the 18'. Planets are not supposed to get too close to the star at the centre of the solar system. There were 3 of them. They didn't. Goal. Game over. 

With the form and fragile confidence Leicester are in and have, the second half became a procession of exhibition football. Mata quickly added the 3rd in the 49 minute after exchanging passes with the excellent Mkhi while the Leicester defenders were pretending to be training cones. Mata had another gilt-edged chance to increase the scoreline but forever being a gentleman, he returned the ball to the home team. Fellaini came on. So did Ashley Young. And Pogba even managed to shoot on target from a distance!

It ended up being a very comfortable victory, well deserved 3 points AND a clean sheet. Leicester, who to be frank, were very disappointing (not that I mind) are still yet to score a league goal in 2017. Could we have done better than we did in the context of things? I think so. Why? It was a victory resembling routine while our true form has been anything but. What I mean by this is that we could and should have piled on the misery to improve our goal difference. There were lots of opportunities. The performance suggested we were comfortable with getting the 3 points and not much else which while not necessarily a bad thing, does not take cognisance of our meagre goals difference compared with that of our rivals. It currently stands:

Chelsea +34, Tottenham +30, Man City +20, Arsenal +24, Liverpool +22 and Manchester United +15.

I understand that we also needed to steady the 'winning' ship but the goals ledger may hauntingly matter at the end of the season. 3 goals, yes but I do not think we are anything near clinical yet. Good step in the right direction but so much still needs to be done or improved upon in the aspect of our finishing.

What else? Martial still on the bench. I'm not the manager. Perhaps he sees something we don't see. It wouldn't really matter if we keep winning but it's going to be a huge (read, 'yuuuuuge') stick to beat his back with when we don't for obvious reasons. Luke Shaw is also in the naughty corner and can't get a look in. Again perhaps he is being reserved for the Europa fixtures. United has the busiest fixtures for the rest of February and it may just be that the manager is trying to pace his team accordingly. A resurgent Watford is next on Saturday at Old Trafford. Remembering the events that occurred in the earlier fixture, maybe, just maybe Mourinho has been saving Martial to exact an epic revenge this weekend...

On a final note, today marks the 59th anniversary of the Munich Air Disaster which claimed the lives of 23 persons including 8 members of the famed 'Busby Babes'. Rest on... 

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

*The Indomitable Lions of Cameroun are the new African Champions. They defeated Egypt 2-1 in the pulsating final. They were however much more hungrier than the Pharaohs and the late winning goal by Aboubakar was worth its weight in gold. All in all, I thought it was a poor tournament quality-wise. Few games were watchable and the state of the pitches left a lot to be desired. We can do much better. Still, congratulations Cameroun! 

* The New England Patriots won the NFL Super Bowl LI by beating the Atlanta Falcons 34-28 in overtime while making the greatest comeback in the competition's history. The owner, (Kraft), the manager (Belchick) and the star quarter-back (Brady) of the team are President Trump's friends. In current climate America, you know what that means - Atlanta had a lot of sympathy supporters. Ironically, the city itself voted FOR Trump while New England's majority voted against him. The US is indeed a melting point, eh?

* Boston Celtics legend, Paul Pierce played at the TD Garden for the last time in a storied career which winds up this season. Though now playing with the Los Angeles Clippers in his final season, Pierce is one of the 3 players who have scored over 20,000 points with the Celtics. He holds the team's record for most 3-points made, steals and is 2nd in most points scored. And this is the most successful NBA franchise we are talking about. Ovations were aplenty. 'The Truth' lives on... 

DEFINITIONS & MUSINGS ON THE 2017/18 UEFA EUROPA LEAGUE…

A trend \’trend\  noun,  can be described as “an inclination in a particular direction”, “a line of general direction or movement” or “a current style or preference”.

Manchester United has drawn a league-leading 9 times in the league. Equal with Middlesborough who lie in the 15^th position, 2 points above the relegation places. 6 of those draws have come at Old Trafford. Stoke, Burnley, West Ham and now, Hull are some of the recipients of valuable points at our home ground.

In each of these games, the goalkeepers of the opposing sides suddenly develop super-human abilities and become impenetrable fortresses. Rather oddly, they are usually rendered mortal in the next game against any sort of decent (and even sometimes ‘indecent’) opposition. There must be some sort of secret goalkeeping Kryptonite formula fellow campaigners are not sharing…

In each of these games, we were the ‘better’ team. Read we had more possession of the ball and had more shots at goal (not necessarily ‘on target’) than the opposition.

Again, we are usually desperately ‘unlucky’ in these games and have questionable refereeing and ethical decisions against the team and the manager over the course of 90 minutes.

There is a now consistent failure to take advantage whenever any of our title/top 4 rivals slip-up.

A fact \’fakt\ noun is “an actual occurrence”, “a piece of information presented as having objective quality” or “something which is real”.

Manchester United has won just less than half of its 23 league games (11) and has consequently remained in 6^th position for over 2 months. This is not Champion League-place form.

If neither Zlatan nor Mata score, it is not very likely we win.

Akin to wastage only seen in bathing soap bubble bath advert scenes, the United team has been horribly deficient in scoring goals despite regularly creating good to excellent chances. I’m not sure which is more frustrating – the lack of ability to create chances under the Van Gaal regime or the ability to create but squander under Jose. (The outcome is the same either way so does it even matter?).

Rashford is absolute rubbish as a left sided attacker cum winger. As previously and severally mentioned, having blinding pace and fair-enough finishing does not qualify a player to play on the wings. While the former attribute is always an advantage, close control, delivery and timing are essential for that role. Rashford loses his dribble too many times to count (21 times yesterday against Hull actually. More than any player on the field), has a fair-to-decent delivery but has recently developed(?) atrocious timing in delivering(that word again) his final passes. He always takes that EXTRA dribble or cut back and the chance is almost always immediately snuffed. This is not a one-off. It has become a trend. Which brings me to…

Madness.  \’mad-nes\ noun. Also known as “Insanity”. Some have described it as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

Mad Hatter: “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?” “Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

“No, I give it up” Alice replied: “What’s the answer?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea” said the Hatter”           

-     Lewis Carroll, ‘Alice in Wonderland’.

That’s Madness.

Madness is also continually playing the aforementioned Rashford on the left in spite of the glaring evidence that he is not yet best suited for that role. There are at least 2 other forwards that can play that role more effectively but the manager seems oblivious to this. There is a live and present danger of the lad becoming disillusioned with his performances and this can have greater repercussions over the course of his still formative career.

In a match begging for a bit more zip in our attacking play, introducing a slow Wayne Rooney for a very slow conservative Michael Carrick, was every bit mad. Basically, you’re replacing a player with another player who is not as good in the same position. Kinda ‘Less for Like’ instead of ‘Like for Like’. It was therefore no surprise that the attacking was continued to be mostly horizontal, side to side rather than direct or vertical. After all 3 substitutions were made, we had Zlatan, Mata and Rooney, all slow, as three-quarters of our attacking quartet. Rashford, discussed above, was the fourth. It became quite clear at a point that except Hull was going to fortuitously help us put the ball into the net or some sort of gratuitous free kick/penalty was given (which Mata and Zlatan also realised and thereafter desperately but comically fought for), there was no goal to be had.

I will purge my fingers later for typing this but even Fellaini would have been a more useful weapon under the circumstances. At least there would be the unpretentious option of lumping the ball forward and hoping for the best disco elbows and all…

Madness is also holding the kind of post-match interviews the gaffer held yesterday. In parts rambling, childish, deflective and mean, there was simply no reason to resort to that sort of degenerate behaviour not least when you are the primary architect of your frustrations. The greatest troll since a Philistine named Goliath, he couldn’t resist a dig at Klopp and his sworn enemy, Wenger over issues that even if true, had no bearing on the performance on the day. It’s the dark side of the manager that rears its ugly head when things don’t go his way and from what I understand, there’s some sort of potential disciplinary sanction waiting around the corner. Which further and finally brings me to…

Pride. \’prid\ noun. In the Yoruba language, it’s called ‘Igberaga’ literally translated to mean ‘lifting one’s self up’ connoting pompousness or haughtiness. It is also defined as “insolence or arrogance of demeanour”.

Anthony Martial is one of the best players in the team. Anthony Martial is THE best left sided attacker in the team. Anthony Martial was yoga flame in his last game (particularly when he was switched back to his favourite left position). Before that game, he went on a short break and came back fresh. Anthony Martial is young and as such does not need a lengthy time as the more ‘mature’ players to recover from knocks and injuries. Anthony Martial is not injured.

Why is Jose Mourinho not playing Anthony Martial???

The excuse he previously gave was that Martial had to do better to be deserving of a place in the starting line up if not it would ‘kill’ other players who were excluded but perhaps more deserving. On the strength of the evidence before us, there should be reports of a mass suicide in the dressing room.

Agreed, his agent may have spoken out of turn in suggesting that the boy was considering other club career options (but isn’t that what agents do including Mourinho’s?) but this was predicated on the position that he had become a bench warmer even though this was justifiable at that time as his form had gone south. He has however picked up and has been one of the team’s most electric and effective performers over the last 2 months.

Personal pride and arrogance should not be primary determinant in selecting your strongest line-up particularly with so much at stake. The team was correctly (and dangerously) rotated over the festive season leading into the busy January fixtures and it is fair to assume that the players are relatively fresh and fit. The manager has said as much himself. After the results on Tuesday, the responsibility was to play the possible strongest line up and preferably send the contest to bed early. Experiments can be carried out thereafter. Madness is flattening a tire on your hitherto smooth driving car to see how it performs on 3 legs. On the express road. (Indeed, every experiment has a certain level of madness prompting it.)

I'm not one to primarily blame the manager over the players as the players are after all the performance artists (no manager can teach Mata and Rashford, at separate instances yesterday, how to put the ball into the net. None), but the manager is nonetheless responsible for the set-up of his team. Mourinho is currently failing in this department. Jose should take a honest look at his selections and choices over the last couple of games and realise that he can do a lot better. If the team wins, he wins. It’s not about the journalists, media analysts, naysayers or the Einsteins. Or agents. He sometimes seems to prefer the mind games with the press and opposing managers over the actual opposition. It is of utmost importance that he snaps out of this Sisyphean battle and objectively attend to the task before him.

In a match with very little redeeming value (Apart from Jones, there was no player I would give 6 out of 10 marks. Pogba wasn't bad: He was even worse - irrelevant. And Zlatan had one of those games where if he doesn't score you wonder what he was doing on the pitch for 90 minutes), a bright spot could be that after all is said and done, United remains 'just' 4 points behind the UCL places and 5 points behind 2nd position. Clearly, all is not lost. 

But the fact is that there is a worrying trend of profligacy which can only be termed as madness, the genesis often derived from the prideful emotions of the manager. Except there's a radical change, there may be no need to get rid of some of the dead weight in the summer - they would be useful for the gruelling Europa League which is the level we seem to be playing at this time. Heavens forbid...

Let's start with a performance against the Champions (straight face) on Sunday. Oh, and congrats on the last minute January signing...

Signing out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Chelsea is like the old lady in 'The Lady Killers' - All attempts to kill her only bring about the demise of one of the conspirators. A draw against Liverpool meant their lead at the top was extended to 9 points due to the  failure of Akirsenal and Paw-paw ochettino to narrow the gap. Champions-elect?

* 'Hot' Totti, 40 did what Diego Costa, (allegedly) 28, could not do by converting a penalty to give his side, Roma a 2-1 win over relegation threatened Seria B club, Cesena in the Coppa Italia. They are now in the semis.

* Usain Bolt now has 9 Olympic Gold Medals due to Nesta Carter's inability to properly read prescription drugs. Hashtag Say No To Group Assignments.

*Breaking - It's the Indomitable Lions v the Pharaohs in the African Cup Of Nations Final. Who would you place your bets on?