Hull'o! Earth Calling Planet Jose!

"Don't be so overly dramatic about it, Chuck. You're saying it's a falsehood, and ... our press secretary, Sean Spicer, gave alternative facts to that." - Kellyanne Conway, Counsellor to the President of the United States of America debating the crowd size at President Trump's inauguration. 

"I think 18 matches unbeaten is amazing. We didn't lose. It was 1-1, 1-1. I only saw two goals. I saw Pogba's goal and their goal was fantastic goal, great action. Great cross, and the guy in far post coming, 1-1." - Jose Mourinho, Manager of Manchester United debating the 2-1 final scoreline against Hull in the EFL Cup.

"There are no facts, only interpretations." - Friedrich Nietzsche.

Perspective is such a beautiful thing, isn't it?

Well, I've got a few perspectives myself on the debacle I witnessed last night that I would love to share. Count if you ain't got nuthin' to do.

1. The referee, Jon Moss, was not as fit as a butcher's dog and no reasonable man could regard him as the new Colina. The Professional Game Match Officials Limited group should be embarrassed. 

2. Chris Smalling has become a bad and even cancerous influence in this team. As usual, he creates panic in the defence and his reading of the game is not very unlike referee Moss'. Worse still, he's started corrupting the recently reborn Phil Jones who yesterday played like nervous 13 year old. Except there's an extraordinarily dramatic change, summer can't come soon enough.

3. Darmian, Matteo. What's there to say about this gentleman that I haven't mentioned in previous posts? A truly shocking and abysmal player. I don't remember him making one cross from the right flank. Offered nothing offensively or defensively. There is no longer any justification for playing this chap. Not with a fit Fosu-Mensah in the team.

4. Paul Pogba may have scored the vital goal that pushed us over the line to Wembley but that aside, his football seems to be degenerating by the game. He has somewhat been justifiably labelled a flat track bully and I fully expected him to dominate this match. That didn't happen and hasn't happened in the last couple of games. He continues to make the ridiculously easy look ridiculously hard and desperately needs a mentor of similar or exceeding talents to call him to order. The player continues to frustrate and the transfer fee hanging over his head can't be wished away. He can and must do better.

5. Rashford is not very good as a left sided attacker. Martial is a lot better in that position. Having pace alone does not make you a good winger. He seems to have also been infected by the Pogba malady of one extra dribble. Pass the bloody thing, mate! Also why not start him sometimes in Zlatan's position as a centre forward particularly on days like this when the prince is closely tracking his Fitbit count?

6. I'll be ever grateful to Mancunian Jesse Lingard for that F.A. Cup winner. He was also a member of the famous 2010-11 Youth squad alongside Pogba and Ravel Morrison but Lingard has to realise that he does not have the abilities of either of those other two players and as such he shouldn't think he can coast just because he's made the first team. His football is wildly inconsistent and he's now 24 years old. Had a shocker yesterday.

7. Jose talks about a certain 'control' of the game before the imbecilic penalty awarded by the referee. That's quite scary. He got his line-up wrong from the start and the team continued to wobble before and after the penalty. They seemed to regard the match as some sort of testimonial for Rooney's #250. After the quite horrific first half, I was hoping for a much improved 2nd half but it ended up being just as ugly. There was a sequence where Zlatan, Pogba, Rooney and Herrara played a drunken ping ball without any player bringing the ball under control - very emblematic of the football we played.

8. After all is said and (very little) done, we are in Wembley. Southampton. 26th February. A cup beckons...

9. "To be a true player you've to know how to play/If she say a night, convince her say a day/Never admit to a word what she say/And if she claim her yuh, tell her, baby, no way!" - Shaggy

Signing out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* The Greatest Tennis Player Of All Time meets the 3rd Greatest Tennis Player Of All Time in the Men's Final of the Australian Open in what will certainly be a classic. Both past their peak but have rolled back the years in this tournament. Let the older man win please.

* The Greatest Female Tennis Player Of All Time faces her sister in another throwback final. Aburo e ni...allow her. 

* Seems I jinxed Madrid. No treble then. (But is it the same Iago Aspas???)