600 + 5th + 1(3)...

"3 points won at Ri-ver-side/
4th place now clearly in sight/
Lucky for you, that's what I like (that's what I like),
Lucky for you that's what I like (that's what I like)/
No Fosu, Shaw or D. Blind/
No mountain too hard to climb?/
Lucky for you that's what I like (that's what I like), 

Lucky for you that's what I like (that's what I like)..." - Sung to the tune of Bruno Mars' 'That's What I Like'.

Well played, Jose. Well played.

With a strategic largely comfortable victory despite fielding probably our weakest line-up in recent memory, United became the 1st team to notch 600 wins in the Premier League era.

Up to 5th after a full set of fixtures for the first time in almost 6 months.

Fellaini scored his 1st league goal this season.

Lingard scored his 1st league goal (and what a goal it was. Something from the Lothar Matthaus catalogue) in over a year (v Chelsea in February 2016).

Valencia scored his 1st league goal...in about a decade. Ok, 3 years (and what a goal it was too).

The line-up was De Gea, Valencia, Bailly, Smalling, Jones, Young, Fellaini, Carrick (c), Mata, Lingard and Rashford. Valencia and Young were deployed as wing-backs, Smalling as comic relief (He continues to make an excellent case for himself on why he should play elsewhere come summer), Fellaini and Carrick as holding midfielders and Rashford as Francis Jeffers. 

The pseudo-5-man defence was super shaky for most parts of the game and with Valencia playing up-field rather than as a traditional centre back, it meant that there was a large acre of land between him and Bailly which was continually exploited by Gaston Ramirez & co. particularly in the 1st half. With Rashford's continuous profligacy in thought and in front of goal (He should have scored both. No, Valdes did not make any 'miracle save'. Yes, Rashford is young but should must get better), United had to rely on the unlikeliest sources to get the goals: The first, which was created by Ashley Young, who had a surprisingly competent game, was decisively nodded in by teacher's pet, Marouane Fellaini. All that height should positively count for something every once in a while. 

Lingard scored the brilliant 2nd goal and it really should have been smooth sailing therefrom. Consequent to the introduction of man-mountain Rudy Gestede to pair with Negredo, Mourinho made the logical substitution of replacing the diminutive Juan Mata with the robust Marcus Rojo to counter the height and power advantage but unfortunately and not for the first time, it spelt the total collapse of the midfield and the avoidable invitation of pressure on the already nervous defence. This is a situation I still have challenges comprehending. Attempting to protect a 2-goal or even a single goal lead in an away match by shoring up your defence, while leaving on or introducing pacy forwards in the event of a counter-attack makes perfect sense. But it seems this team is still unable to find the appropriate balance required to control the game when such adjustments have been made. It happened against Everton and has been a recurrent situation when United has a slender lead in away games.

Anyhow, Chris Smalling (who else?) caved in this game of musical chairs and provided an assist for Gestede. 1-2. The heat was on. The tricky Adama Traore tried to cause a few problems on the right side. Long balls into the United '18 were whacked out by any (legit) means necessary...

...and then cometh the hour, cometh the man. Shortly after Eric Bailly and Gestede exchanged hickeys, Middlesbrough won a corner in the 91st minute which was thankfully headed out. The tireless Antonio Valencia, starting off from the '6 yard box, was the first to the ball and proceeded to run it across the length of the field presumably to the Middlesbrough corner flag. Or so we thought. He lost the ball along the way and a defender sent a back pass to Victor Valdes who was in turn powering up to deliver a final punt into the Manchester United half for undoubtedly the last attack of the game...he slipped...Valencia never stopped running. The easiest goal he will ever score. A1 for effort. 100% for dedication to the cause. 2/10 for aesthetics. Value for relief? Priceless.

Jose Mourinho, unable to contain his joy, promptly fist-pumped his way down the tunnel, temporarily forgetting the norm and niceties of shaking the opposing manager's hand after the game. Perhaps a minder should be hired to occasionally remind him of the club he is currently representing. The final whistle came immediately after 'Brough kicked off. Full time: 1-3.

Ryan Giggs believes that Manchester United have the best squad in the premiership. I beg to differ. The team may have the most recognisable names but 'best' as to the actual quality of our squad? Nah. I may not always agree with Mourinho's line-up preferences but the most important thing is that his selections deliver. It was an unfamiliar formation (variations of 3-4-3) which the team, particularly the defence, struggled with at times but it was largely well-executed and effective on the day. A palatable dish was prepared using the most basic ingredients. Do not forget that this was also a Middlesbrough side which had just sacked its manager and therefore had a point to prove which they valiantly tried to do.  Kudos to the gaffer for this one.

The next league fixture is against the set-piece specialists and Arsenal-conquerors, West Bromwich Albion at Old Trafford on the 2nd of April. Hopefully, the team should have been well rested and revving to go by then. Zlatan and Herrara would serve the last of their respective bans and would therefore not be available. Arsenal play Manchester City the same weekend so it would be a perfect opportunity to create more than a sliver of light between us and them while simultaneously knocking on 4th spot door. Our outstanding game, which is also against City, has been rescheduled for the 27th of April and it is imperative that we get all we can before that game. Here's hoping we can keep at it. Enjoy (if you can) the international break.

Signing Out,

B.L

P.S. - Was Paul Pogba missed on Sunday?  

In Other News:

* Chelsea took one step closer to the title by wrestling a 1-2 victory over Stoke City. Willian and Cahill were the goal-scorers but Diego 'absolute b*stard' Costa was the box-office. Not unlike Messi, you know what he does, you know how he's going to do it but you still fall for it every time. Kept the Stoke defence physically and emotionally occupied all game in spite of earning a yellow card in the 1st half. Start to clean out the trombones for the inevitable parade. Would be interesting to see how they cope with a much more engaging schedule next season.

*The evergeen amazing Roger Federer won his 25th Masters 1000 career title and record tying 5th Indian Wells title on Sunday. Taking a leaf from his compatriot, friend and latest victim, Stan Wawrinka, "What an incredible a-hole."

* R.I.P Ivan 'The Russian Bear' Kollof and George 'The Animal' Steele.