(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

*WARNING - Beware of possible head-scratching contradictions*

Shortly after the Burton Albion Carabao Cup victory on Tuesday, a recap of the game unfolded in a Manchester United chat forum. While, of course, there was a consensus of contentment in the fairly accurate result, others like myself still grumbled about the team's wastefulness and alarmingly re-occurring lengthy patches of disjointedness dating back to the previous league game against Everton which ended in a teeny-bit-too-flattering 4-0 scoreline. And then the following statement was made:   

"So in all competitions we conceded just *2 goals (*3 actually, including Burton's last minute Pereira gift)? Scored what? 22?
You guys have all been restored to default ManUtd mode...Spoilt fans...😆"

Fair point.

Does it really really matter if 10 gilt-edged chances are squandered but the team still wins 5-0? Even if Lukaku seemingly prefers to score his rebounds (which is a skill in itself, I guess), isn't the most important thing the fact that he scores? Like the hilarious viral clip of the kid with the awkward ("Lord have mercy...") dab, isn't the key thing the fact that he did (some sort of variation of) it? What would Crystal Palace and Alaves fans make of all this nit-picking? Does it matter if three-quarters of the goals are scored in the final 10 minutes or the first 10? So Ashley Young is not a natural full-back yet he has provided 2 quality assists in as many games in that position; why complain? The (formerly) much reviled Fellaini is apparently not a Manchester United player but he has been an effectual "rim protector" and game-saver a good number of times for this United team. Asides the free-scoring neighbours, no other side in the league has put in as many goals past opponents than United has. So what's the fuss?

But they will be found out against better opposition  

Without the benefit of divine clairvoyance, you can only attend to/strategize for such games as they are presented.  

What of goal difference?

If you beat the league-leading scorers and closest rivals by a lone goal whether through a dodgy penalty, shades of offside or an own goal, would goal difference matter?

But...but...it's not entertaining football! 

As the meme states, if you want to please everybody, go sell ice-cream. This is pragmatic-points-on-the-board-high-stakes football. Winning supersedes entertainment...

So perhaps, the summary of the above is basically this: Utopian ideas of perfect football week in and out should immediately be abandoned. A vast majority of fans and supporters primarily seek some form of glory from their sides (not to be confused with "glory-hunting") and this is perfectly acceptable. It is a sport after all. How this is obtained may vary but except you are Brazilian circa 1990-1994, the end simply justifies the means. Results over aesthetics. Results over performance. Nokia 3310 with airtime over iPhone whatever without airtime and data (Aha!). There's a reason FIFA regularly and controversially (and often incorrectly, in my opinion) rewards the player of the winning team as the Best Player of the Tournament/Year in spite of another player having a more rounded/better performance all tournament or season long (watch this space) - winning is the bigger business. 

Original picture of the sainted Lukaku courtesy Independent.co.uk

Like the game against Southampton yesterday, sometimes all you need is something edible to quench the hunger. Taste and flavour are unimportant. Your full belly is. It was a game the team could have lost any other day but they showed great resolve and character to protect the early lead. Considering that a draw would have been a fair result, the victory and 3 points earned were priceless. W > D > L.

That said, I still do not agree with the absolute infallibility of the evidence of 'winning'.

Football is neither chess nor checkers. That's why it is not played on a game board. There is, I dare say, an unwritten obligation to entertain the audience. Football is performing arts. Being a spectator sport, the 'how' is nearly (not as, no...not as) important as the 'what'. Each dive from the platform may not always be a 10 but you damn well need to aspire to that figure every time you jump into the pool. Nobody buys a Ferrari to carry out stately burial processions. There is still a right of complaint to demand certain things a certain way when an outfit costs €784m thereabouts. Jose may call proponents of this ideology 'poets' but I believe the essential truth is not lost on him.

Robert Fulghum's Storyteller's creed begins, "I believe imagination is stronger than knowledge...." It was that inventiveness and fantasy element to the sport and to Sir Alex's team that first made me a fan of the game and the club and not the rudimentary application of the rules to the sport. Simple lay-ups do not maketh the NBA. (Pre-fight) Mayweather maketh Boxing. DJ Kool Herc introduced us to it but Rakim made us fall in love with it. The artists are the ones who live with you forever.

The fact remains that winning a match doesn't mean a perfect game was played and that there aren't areas for improvement. Post-match football analysis and debate are required eternal exercises. That's a major part of what makes it interesting. No two games are the same (even in football video games) so the euphoria experienced today may morph into invoking ancestral curses and expletives on your favourite player next game. 

The secret to finding a balance with these contrasting emotions is to realise and accept that football is just a sport and that Mkhitaryan constantly over-running the ball is not meant to be a personal affront to your person but is just part of the game. You can't be overtly critical and also shouldn't be a 'win' robot. It also helps when at the end of the game, your team is the one with maximum points.

So the next time Herrera from a decent position skies a shot to row z (he's the current club Player of the Year), Rashford aimlessly and needlessly runs the ball into a barricade of opposition defenders (He's a prodigy), Martial misses a relatively easy chance (He's special, isn't he?) Romelu does his leg-sorting thingy (He'll eventually end up top goal scorer) and Jones loses his marker from a set-piece (Committed solid lad), just smile. Like a boss. Or you could also wild-out and criticise what you don't like.

Whatever the case, just look at the scoreboard and make sure your team is winning. 

And then it's okay whichever way...  

Next Stop: 3 points v CSKA Moscow (A) in the Champions League. Wednesday, 27th September, 2017. 

Signing Out,

B.L

In Other News:

* The much anticipated boxing match between Gennady 'GGG' Golovkin and Saul 'Canelo' Alvarez ended in an unfathomable draw according to the not-so honourable judges (Take a bow, Adalaide Byrd).  Churning out these sort of results does the current reputation of boxing no favours and to arrive at this conclusion in a bout meant to redeem the sport's image after the battering it had taken after the high-profile farce which took place weeks earlier, means this was a missed opportunity. I do not care too much about a rematch. Joshua v Wilder anyone?

* Morata, Lukaku and Aguero are all on 6 goals after 6 games. Cavani 7 (7) . Lewandowski 7 (6). Immobile 8 (6). Aubameyang has 9 in 6. Messi 9 (6). Dybala 10 (6). Falcao 11 (7). Cristiano Ronaldo is yet to get going but he can very easily get those numbers in 2/3 games. All familiar names on the goalscorers' chart except one. The Juventus star is having a breakout season and is about to shoot into the superstar stratosphere. Would it be Real Madrid or Barcelona?

* Carmelo Anthony is taking his talents (and baggage) to Oklahoma to form another Big 3 with Westbrook and Paul George with the Thunder. CP3 had previously hooked up with Harden and his beard while Isaiah Thomas had joined LeBron (which automatically makes the Cavaliers a Big 5 - Any star in addition to LeBron is) with Neymar Kyrie  Irving going the other way to be THE man in Boston alongside Gordon Hayward and...ahem...Al Horford. Methinks Golden State should still be comfortable. Congratulations, Porzingis! It's yours!

* There is only one way the PSG penalty fiasco will ultimately end - Cavani can still give at least 2 good years to a top European club come next summer.

* And how could I forget? The Gentle Giant of Country Music, Don Williams passed away on the 8th of September at the age of  78. He was an essential part of the soundtrack to my childhood. A master of the simple yet deep lyric.

"I Don't Want To Be The Fiery Sun/

I Just Want To Be Your Candle Honey/I Just Want To Be Your Candle Baby/Let The Sun Shine On...

I Don't Want To Be The Deep Blue Sea/I Just Want To Be Your Cup 'o Tea/I Just Want To Be Your Cup 'o Tea/Let The Sea Rage On..."

Rest In Peace, Giant...🌹

Back From Cloud 9...

...So we can all calm down now.

The  Puff the Magic Dragon start to the season has been given a reality check. Not that anyone was expecting a 38 game win season but the circumstances in which the deserved draw was obtained will certainly put a lot of things in proper perspective.

First of, it is important we draw (I'm beginning to hate the word) derive a balance into the meaning of the result - a 2-2 score against a for-some-reason recently dogged bogey Stoke team at the bet365 is not a disaster. Contenders often drop points there and one has even recorded a loss there this early season. In recent years, the Potters always seem up for it whenever United is in town and Sparky also seems to have a potent antidote (including on the sidelines too) for our Special One in these fixtures. In summary, our final output was totally commensurate to our total input. Even Stephens. Fair enough.

Secondly, I think we need to once and for all dispel the myth of P.I.B.F.S. i.e. Post International Break Fatigue Syndrome. Having 16-18(?) first-teamers away for the now standardised 2-week International fixture period is to be expected and appropriately managed by big clubs. It should not serve as an excuse for sub-par performances. City*, Chelsea, Arsenal and Spurs all have established internationals who participated in the qualifiers but they all returned to put in cohesive performances and administer spankings to their opponents. (Would we rather have faced Liverpool?) None of ours came back with any significant injury, some didn't even get to play and the farthest traveller was Ecuadorian Antonio Valencia who followed up his country's torrid qualification results with a poor performance yesterday. Perhaps he is to be exempted...until you look at the neighbour's South Americans and those in Catalonia and environs and then...nah...no excuses. The management simply has to find a way to eke out adequate performances under the circumstances.

* City did not administer a 'spanking' to their opponents - that was a mauling. Kinda like what Sadio Mane managed to do, deliberately or not, to Eduardo's profile.

Another to be forever banished, is the so-called "fixture pile up" excuse. Starting with Stoke yesterday, there's a Sat-Tue-Sun-Wed-Sat-Wed-Sat run of matches all through September which consist of Champions League, League and League Cup games. Isn't this what we've always wanted? Sooooo I expect the team to relish and own these competitive fixtures rather than treat them like Vice President Selina Meyer basically treats anything - with disdain and complaint. And that's specifically to you, Jose. I'm sure a certain Rafa Benitez would be willing to swap places given the opportunity...anyways, like Smokie said, don't play your rock n' roll to me. Get in!

FC Basel is coming up 2 days away in the Champions League (Hurray!) and there are a 3 things which are becoming more evident by the day concerning the squad which I would want to enumerate here. One I've mentioned severally, one I'm only fully coming to terms with and and the last I've only just discovered. My thoughts, folks...just my thoughts...

Original photo of rugged RedRom courtesy Metro.co.uk

1. Romelu Lukaku will score goals but...

4 goals in 4 games. You can't, on those basic stats, ask for more. And I know he's still going to score many more barring injuries. Very likely in line to be the 1st Manchester United striker since RvP to score 20 league goals in a season. 89 league goals in 190 games. 24 in 59 for his country. 150 in 322 career numbers averaging 1 in 2. He's still only 24 years young. This man will score goals. The problem however is that...how does one put this?..Romelu has some very very essential shortcomings. Have you watched a learner trying to reverse/turn a car on a narrow road? Can you try and imagine Shaq as a footballer? 🎵"You got me tripping...stumbling...flipping...fumbling...______ cos I'm falling in love...". Ever heard the term 'flat-track bully'? Do you get my drift?😅.

On the biggest stages, that lack of coordination, composure, awkwardness and ungainliness will be exposed and eventually, bitterly regretted. I hope not. There is still time to improve. Then again, some of the best strikers in the world had many limitations but the secret to their success (which isn't much a secret) was to play to their assets. Ronaldo de Lima had how many headed goals for instance? Pippo Inzaghi was never going to leave the entire back line on its backside before calmly placing the ball in the net and Ruuuuud! was not expected to give you a 35 yard howitzer. Not when you had Giggsy to your left, Becks to your right and Keano and Scholesy behind you...Ah, nostalgia...

Romelu is all power and pace. The team then has to quickly and consistently learn to play to his strengths. Play the ball into spaces behind the defence. Play the ball over the top of the defence. Try and get him isolated with a defender. Provide accurate dangerous crosses into the '18 which brings me to...

2. Our sterile wing-play 

This one drives me absolutely nuts. Right from last season, and in some cases 5 years back, we knew that 1. Valencia could not cross accurately. 2. Fosu could not cross accurately. 3. Rojo (when played as a full back) could not cross accurately 4. Blind (who should) could not cross accurately 5. Lingard could not cross accurately 6. Martial could not cross accurately 7. Rashford could not cross accurately 8. Mata is not a winger. 9. Shaw's appearances are like the total eclipse and 10. Darmian is generally as useful as a one-legged person in an ass-kicking contest. And I'm not talking the rare/occasional cross which surprisingly finds its target in a spectacular manner. I'm talking 'consistently'.

The one-who-got-away-who-also-recently-renewed-his-clubvows-for-another-5years' legend (and value) continues to grow with each passing day. But weren't there any other decent full backs/wingers in the market? I know the transfer market has gone totally gaga for obvious prospects and established players isn't that why we possess a renowned scouting network? To unearth hidden gems? Nobody? Nothing? Pending when those available make drastic improvements in their final pass, prepare to be often irritated. Speaking of irritations...

3. Pogba

And I'm not even referring to the haircut(s). I'm not part of the club's (well run, I must commend) PR machine so I'm going to say it as it is -This dude need to get his finger out. We can't continue to pretend that these performances are acceptable from our marquee player. You can't have all of this obvious talent and attend to football games with all the seriousness of Sesame Street. The much-derided Fellaini, with a 1/4 of this man's talent has made himself indispensable (to his coach at least) in the big games and hate it or hate it, he often comes through. To the best of his ability, he performs at a 9/10. Paul phones in a 5. You can't continuously casually keep giving the ball away in dangerous areas while holding on the ball when there are several options around you. I'm done with the whole 'still young' thing and like I stated here previously, the time to perform is now. He still needs his hand held and with the (now, let's admit, honorary) captain and old head essentially a bench warmer, who then provides the leadership in ability and example on the field? Valencia is obviously just filling in and Christopher Smalling is the vice-captain. I repeat, it's make or break season. The goals have thankfully started coming, which is nice, but the consistency is what is most required. Pogba, please...

Bailly and Jones had individual and collective 'mares yesterday making Eric Choupo-Moting look like a cross between Roy of the Rovers and Cristiano Ronaldo but I want to consider that an aberration rather than the norm. Same with Ander (recent lack of playing time?). We know the trio is capable of much better.  

There are understandably going to be a lot of rotations these coming days and I sincerely hope all called upon stand up and be counted. The slate is still largely blank. And more ominously, January, which brings another transfer window, is just round the corner. 😠

Still, the team is looking more cohesive, more in sync, more united, than last time around. I still hold on to my early season prediction of a domestic trophy (or two) with a Quarter-final UCL appearance an achievement. Of course, I would prefer to be proved wrong on the latter by the team going even further and possibly winning it but then again...It's still early days. Come On You Reds!   

Signing Out,

B.L...


In Other News:

* Neighbourhood Watch : I'm not a superstitious person. But if for any reason Oxlade-Chamberlain is again in the transfer market, Messrs Glazer, please ignore. Even if offered for free. Particularly if he's ready to take a salary cut. Thanks. Mane madness and Salah slovenliness aside, could things have been drastically different? Does or should playing short one man give your opponents such a huge advantage (We do it every time Darmian is on to varying results so...)? Is there any credit to be given to the City's attack in that rampaging performance? We could do with a Mendy, couldn't we?

*Enemy/King-Slayer Watch: Alvaro Morata's new found heading ability and Chelsea's resilience have become as inconceivable as Bronn rescuing Jaime by pushing him into the sea, dodging dragon fire (and a waiting army), swimming what must have been a very lengthy distance, and then coming out to shore unscathed. Scary. Stockpile dragon-glass and and lay in wait behind the wall. Or bus...  

* Real Madrid are so good, they've given their major rivals a head start in the league this season. Expect them to start reeling their opponents in as soon as wonder-boy returns...or does this turn out like that didactic hare v tortoise race where the hare left itself with too much to do to win the race? Messi (another hattrick) & Co. have been said, including by yours truly, to be in dire straits but they are the only team with a perfect record in Spain after admittedly only 3 games. Shockingly too, they are yet to concede a goal (Sound familiar?). But come to think about it, their capitulation, like another English team usually begins in the new calendar year. Stay tuned...

*  By the time you're reading this Raphael Nadal would probably be the US Open Champion. Remarkable  tennis year for the oldies but goldies. Congratulations Jide Ajao! 😁

* (Rich)Twat of the Month: Connor McGregor. Do I even need to explain this?

* A proper boxing fight is going to take place on Saturday between Gennady "GGG" Golovkin and Saul "Canelo" Alvarez. 1 loss and 67 knockouts between both fighters in 88 bouts. Who's your money on?

From Manual To AutoMatic...

Manchester United 4 - 0  West Ham. Lukaku debut brace. Martial. Pogba.

A Statement of Intent.

Laying down the marker.

Setting the standard.

I wouldn't lie, I'm a lot more excited than I'm probably giving off. And with good reason too. This isn't the first time United has started the season on a winning note post SAF. Heck, even Ol' Moyesy started with a 1-4 victory against Swansea. We went 3 on the trot last season before coming unstuck when City visited. So why should I be somewhat optimistic about this opening day victory?

Well for one, while fans of a London club are undoubtedly singing the chorus of Kenny Roger's 'Lucille' to the man, Old Trafford has gotten itself a new hero. Hint: He's tall, left-footed and made his official debut against Real Madrid in the Super Cup. Oh...wait that could be any of our 3 new signings...further hint: He didn't cost £75m. That rules out the impressive Romelu Lukaku...Lindelof didn't play yesterday so....it has to be excellent Fans' Player Of The Year nominee, Nemanja Matic! God, I love the boy! Instant classic like Illmatic. If  Herrera is an eraser, Matic is a vacuum cleaner. He made more passes, tackles and oles than any body else on the pitch while exuding class, maturity and intelligence the entire game. A complete midfield performance. It says a lot when the Man Of The Match award is given to a defensive midfielder rather than a club record signing striker who just scored 2 well-taken goals in a powerful debut.

Picture of Matic doing his thing above courtesy Football FanCast

I'll be he first to admit that his performance seems so novel for the simple reason we haven't seen anything like it at the Stretford End since Keano. When you are hungry, anything edible tastes good. Isn't this the same Chelsea Matic of the last 3 years barely given a mention, firmly (and to be fair, understandably) in the shadow of the illuminating Hazard and dangerous Costa? Even the unassuming new-boy and eventual PoTY, N'golo Kante, had a higher profile than him in the squad. I've watched Matic several times for his former club but I don't remember him looking this good...is this just me? Does this mean Chelsea has a much better squad than we have or is he just a better fit for United (admittedly only on the strength of 2 games)? One's meat and another's poison and all that?...Why did Roman sanction the sale of this man? Seemed Conte wasn't too pleased with it, was he? Is there anything else apart from the American Elections that Putin is allegedly tampering with? The transaction is as puzzling as David Silva's new hairstyle...

But...

Whatever, man.

Again, Thank you, Roman.

Moving on, the team was menacing from the 1st minute and there was a bit more urgency and zip in the game play compared to previous performances. There was raw pace, power and not little technical ability on show all through. Rashford, if you can pardon his poor finishing, ran old Zabaleta ragged for the better part of the game only for the equally pacy and tricky Martial to apply the coup de grace in an as effective-as-you-can-remember cameo. Man-o-man, I still believe that Martial is a more talented footballer than Rashford but what gives Marcus the advantage is his 100% dedication and effort while on the field and most times in team sport, that's fundamentally all you need. You can never accuse him of not trying. See that backtrack tackle he made on the aforementioned Zaba when he may have been granted some respite if he just kinda ignored it? Truth be told, Anthony wouldn't, or rather, doesn't put in that much effort.

Romelu Lukaku. A Brute. Big, fast and a fair-to-fine finisher. Also current vice-captain of my Premier League Fantasy Team. (I'm not exactly trying to give you million dollars worth of game for $9.99 but I'm sure you can take the hint...).  The hulking Belgian has brought a new dimension to the United attack with his direct play and physicality which would always be a handful to opposing defenders. His goals were well-executed and served as a relaxant to the OT faithful. The less I say about his footwork though, the better. Basically, it's not likely there's a Strictly Come Dancing career after football.

Monsieur Pogba also scored a fine fourth after ensuring I had a lot to grieve about in spite of the generally impressive performance. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, never before has a player been cursed with the ability to complicate the simple things. The boy WILL go very far if he can cut that nasty habit out of his game but it's entirely up to him.

The defence was more than decent, the midfield purred and the attack was biting (Mkhi was another one with a brilliant display. 2 assists and always carried an air of danger. Keep it up!). On the balance of performance on the opening day fixtures, Manchester United has looked the most impressive team. Like the current NBA Champions, the coterie of players at the manager's disposal guarantees that there's a myriad of ways the team can hurt opponents. The team can go fast and zippy, play route-one big man sky-ball and even deliver a hybrid of both.

Even pending the Ivan Perisic (Did I hear an "Amen!"?), the team looks well equipped to successfully navigate the EPL waters. There are no absolutes of course but barring the absence of crucial injuries (like Chelsea enjoyed last season and Leicester the season before) and Mourinho keeping a head as good as Giroud's, there is maybe an...absolut. City started just as impressively last season and lost its way mid-way but this is THE Mystical Mourinho Second Season. We all know how these usually end up.

Next fixture is Swansea away on Saturday. Key-man, set-piece specialist and Old Trafford draw-enforcer, Gylfi Sigurdsson has won his right to properly explain to Wayne Rooney in the Everton dressing room why he converted that free kick consequent to the latter's late foul at Manchester last season. One less headache. A good performance and result will further 'lift the spirits' in more ways than one. Let's keep the gravy train rolling...

Signing Out,

B.L...


In Other News:

*El Clasico - The Prequel. Real Madrid and Zidane have created a problem for world football - It's going to be very hard to beat this team. The talent at their disposal is stacked and growing. More fascinatingly, the team doesn't ever park the bus. They just beat you with (much) superior fire-power. Without giving any significant attention (Oh, how he would hate that!) to man-child and prima donna Cristiano Ronaldo's antics, Madrid were as brilliant as Barcelona were Deulofeuestically poor. On paper, the addition of Paulinho does not significantly reduce the increasing gap between both teams. He may be 29 years old but he's no Matic. I kid, but except Valverde constructively varies the playing pattern, the Neymar exit is going to create a crater no £200m can ordinarily fix. I expect Madrid to finish the job on Wednesday. Back to Back to Back?

*Twat of the Week: In a performance that Hobbes' 'Leviathan' would describe as "...solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short", the winner can be none other than the ridiculous Jonjo Shelvey, team captain of newly promoted Newcastle United. I can't even ask what he was thinking at this point. If the Mike Ashley-enforced lack of funds does not chase Rafa Benitez away, this man and his mental like in the team, will.

*Did anybody have a better week than the Lukaku brothers? Younger brother, Jordan had perhaps the more difficult task of dislodging perennial favourites and Italian colossus, Juventus from the Italian Super Cup and he did what very few have been able to achieve in that region: succeed. He provided the assist for the appropriately-named Murgia to steal the win at the last minute. 3-2, it ended. Lukaku Bros. 2 Pogba Bros. 1...

* I never had time to give Manchester United legend* and record goal-scorer, Wayne Rooney a proper send-off (or forth). The good, bad and ugly memories will never be forgotten. He is going to be on the Old Trafford walls for a mighty long time. I just wish his exit wasn't as forced and necessary as it became. He's still only 31. The simply truth is that what he and his agents were able to so ignominiously but smartly eke out of the (desperate) club as his wages and contract were clearly no longer commensurate with his real-time abilities. That's the part most fans can't tolerate. Don't let your mouth write a cheque that your bum can't cash. On his return debut for his boyhood club Everton over the weekend, he actually moved like a striker and scored the solitary winning goal with a fine header. Wowsers! A 7-1 defeat for his team on his return to Old Trafford with him scoring a last minute penalty to a standing ovation would be an adequate thank you. All the best, Wazza...

* Also bidding bye-bye is the greatest sprinter ever, the incomparable Usain 'Lightening' Bolt. Jamaica's 2nd best export after Bob Marley didn't also leave in a manner many will consider appropriate. He did what he hadn't done in a major competition in the last decade - he lost. A bronze medal in the 100m and DNF in the 4 x 100m. Still, there's absolutely no blot on this man's legacy. As charming as they come, his records don't speak They scream. He has also assured us that he's not doing an Ali or Wizards' Jordan. Good enough for me...    

*Bye! 

Welcome Back, Dear...

“How I have missed you, Miss Competitive football!

Your flirty friend, Ms. Confederations Cup threw some inviting glances my way but being the faithful lover that I am, I merely smiled and nodded in her direction. The various pre-season tourneys and age-grade competitions offered “half whispered conversation with the promise of indiscretion ever hanging in the air”. I didn’t flinch. It’s great to have you back, dear…now, come here and give me a hug…

…but wait…gimme a minute…you see, the missus traveled just about the same time you did and she’s also just returned bearing gifts and expecting my attention…I also desperately need to see her. I’m sure you understand…but you know you always are going to be my immortal beloved. Mwah. I’ll be back in a bit…”

Last time I put fingers to keyboard, Manchester United was on the cusp of European glory* and a dignified passage into the Champions’ League group stages. Signed, sealed and comfortably delivered. Pogba and Mkhi. Cue, first, relief and then celebration. The missing silverware obtained. The perpetual and final 6^th place league position irrelevant. Adding the League Cup and the English Super Cup (otherwise known as the ‘worthless’ Community Shield to the haters. Lol) to this other accomplishment, 2016/17 was definitely a successful season.

The new management was brought in to move the club out of the dark ages it had been enveloped in post-SAF era while establishing a sound platform for further development. Check. All the new signings made an impact. Check. Bailly is arguably the best defender in the EPL, Zlatan reinvigorated the fans and has become to whatever extent, part of Old Trafford folklore, Mkhitaryan is in line to win the inaugural Best Player Of The Europa Cup competition award and Pogba is…well...has become…the current social media and commercial icon of the club. The natural expectation is that they each enjoy better subsequent seasons. Laurels of varying quality and glimmer were won. Check. A now positive atmosphere around the club. Check.

The club immediately swung into action as soon as the transfer window was open and finalised the signing of long-time target, Victor Lindelof for a princely fee of about £30 million (also known as ‘average players’ fees’ in today’s market). The towering Swede not named Zlatan has come from Benfica and has the advantage of being a perennial winner with his former club. Long may that mind-set continue and translate. His unofficial debut against LA Galaxy in the pre-season USA tour was assured and promising. His subsequent performances, unfortunately, have been anything but. I winced when he conceded that gruesome penalty against Real Madrid in the International Champions Cup and he was also negligible against the same team in last night's European Super Cup season starter. But there is time. I always suspected that it was going to be a tough bedding period transiting from the pace and purpose of Benfica in the Portuguese league to the unrelenting demands and concentration required from a Manchester United starter. He should and would have better games.

The talents of the muscular Romelu Lukaku were also purchased from Merseyside Blue for the eye-watering and kingly sum of about £75 million with potential add-ons. But he’s still basically 2½ times less Neymar quality. Honestly? I think we paid a bit too much for the burly Belgian. Granted, he's a proven EPL goal scorer and still young but I would have wanted a striker with a more technical nous and savvy e.g. Alvaro Morata (Yes, I know a lot would disagree with my position but I hope I'm proved wrong and Morata continues to perform and shoot like he did in the English Super Cup Community Shield. Still, that's how I currently feel.). I have also come to accept that Mourinho a lot of times employs individual attributes of players not for primarily football purposes but singularly to nullify, stifle, engage or rankle the opposition while the other 'footballers' go about their businesses and take advantage of the situation. Whatever works, eh? *shrugs* That said, I'm confident that Lukaku would score a decent number of goals for United this season.

Last recruit, (but hopefully not the last) and certainly not the least, is Nemanja Matic.

"Nemanja whoa!/Nemanja whoa!/

He comes from Serbi-a

He'll friggin' murder ye!" 

Whoa! Ok, Stay cool. Stay cool. Calm your horses. You can't just give him our legendary captain's song after just 2 games, one a friendly. The fing is, Matic or 'a Matic' is what this team has been screaming out for in the last decade or so. Tall. Tough. Tenacious. Technical. Classy. £40 million may be on the upside for a recently turned 29 year old but considering the insane transfer fees of the current market and the possibility of getting at least 3 optimum years from him, the fee will be money well spent and conservative compared to our projected achievements. Thanks, Roman! I understand his former coach is losing hair over his sale. No pun intended. I suspect his signing will be the over-riding game changer for United this season.

The opportunity of seeing all 3 in competitive action presented itself yesterday against Real Madrid in the Super Cup with mixed results. Lindelof struggled, Lukaku struggled (scored but also missed an easier sitter) and Matic was magic. Of course, we are aware that United lost the game by a complimentary 2-1 scoreline but Cheer up! - That's probably the toughest opposition we'll face all season! The team fought gamely for all 97 minutes and while we were out-classed for large swathes of the proceedings, the team never let its head down and competed till the final whistle. Vital and invaluable. The major concerns for me however were:

1. There's no point having Goliath of Gath, Yao Ming, Robert Wadlow and the Great Khali in the opposition's box if your set pieces are not going to beat the first opposition defender. It's frustrating, annoying and ultimately irresponsible. It persisted last season, continued all through the pre-season and seems to have extended its tenancy into this new one. I don't get why Rashford takes corners for United. I assume they train on this very important part of our play (now more than ever) so why are the in-game translations so abysmal?

2. Related to the above is our final ball delivery. Atrocious. Consistent inaccuracy and bad-decision making. Our "wingers" and "fullbacks" (We don't really have any) can't cross. Danny Carvajal and Marcelo continue to be important attacking weapons in the Madrid set-up. Carvajal provided the assist to Casimero for the 1st goal and was passing incisive laser beams all through the game. I still think we need to urgently buy in these departments.

3. Paul Pogba. 

Pogba's penchant  for attempting the needlessly spectacular/sensational/complicated instead of the basic, quick and effective pass is eye-ball scratchingly frustrating. Compare with the cliched but aptly described Rolls-Royce of a player, Luka Modric. I already tweeted yesterday that Paul should get a pencil and paper and sit at the feet of Luka while watching replays of yesterday's game. When 'unsellable' Marouane Fellaini has a much impactful game in 20 minutes or so more than you, then there may be need of a mental reset. Pogba shrivels in the big games and if he wants to be a top-most echelon player like he so often tries to portray, then he needs to play like one. He has no excuses this season and is not getting younger. His time is now.

4. Poor finishing. Geez. Lukaku. Rashford. At this level? No. Just no. Another bad habit seemingly carried over from last season. Unacceptable. 

All in all, yesterday's performance and result were not in any way fatal and I believe the team will still improve. 

My predictions for this season? EPL winners and a domestic cup. A Quarter-final appearance in the UCL (with the team "as-is"), in my opinion, would be a great achievement.

I'm just glad to have the football season back. 4pm. Sunday the 13th. Old Trafford. West Ham. Welcome back my darling...how was your holiday? 

Signing Out,

B.L.

In Other News:

* THE Neymar transfer figures. Wowsers. From a sporting perspective, I can understand why he wanted to leave (In the NBA, Kyrie Irving of the Lebron Cavaliers is doing exactly same) - the need to be the 'top dog/alpha male' in your team. Does this come from an egoistical place or from a purely competitive 'be-the-best-you-can-be' position? Perhaps both. He would have been guaranteed x number of titles continually playing aside Lionel Messi but he may also never get the individual acclaim sports-persons crave regardless of what they tell the media, if he remained.

He wins big in all areas with this transfer: money, becoming the centre of attention, unreserved adulation, the richest and biggest team in the league, a less challenging physical and psychological schedule which primes him nicely for the World Cup next year, the undivided focus of the Champions League and yet more money. Win-win-ching.

From the 'humanitarian' standpoint however, £198M (i.e. One Hundred and Ninety Eight Million Great Britain Pounds) ??? Is any sporting talent worth that? Even considering the commercial interests with his image and all, isn't that figure obscene? Mind, His Holiness threw a strop many years back when Christian Vieri was bought for a then record fee of £50 million. That's John Stones (who?) money today. Value is ultimately what you consider it, yes? Football has become big business but we are thankful for angels like Juan Mata (who must be retained even if not for his coach mis-applied football talent, but for the fact that he just seems to be a wonderful human being) who put things in proper perspective by way of his recent 1% noble initiative.

* Mayweather v McGregor. A travesty to the sport of boxing. Now more than ever, there's a voracious appetite for a spectacle rather than proper competition. This match-up is a product of the adulterous relationship between WWE and amateur boxing. Frighteningly, this is only the beginning of mixed sport competition. (Bolt to United?). Mayweather will permit the Irishman a few rounds to get the crowd interested before becoming 50-0*. Expect a rematch too . I shan't be watching this one...

* Celtic has begun its campaign to become the 1st team in history, old or modern, to go two straight seasons domestically unbeaten. Bayern Munich and Juventus seem to be suffering a winners-hangover. They've both been uncharacteristically dull in the transfer market but please do not be fooled - They love the chase which often leads to an inevitable conclusion at season's end...

* ...speaking of love and inevitable conclusions at life's season end, between my last post and this, I lost my mum to cancer. She was a loving, strong, kind and generous woman. She often called me after key games asking "Shey e win?" translated to mean "Did you guys win?". I suspect she usually knew the results before she called as there was a knowing, even cheery, ring in her tone after every loss or bad result. Her maker has received his most beautiful bride yet. Rest In Peace, Mummy.  

Manchester Strong

“Come gather ‘round, people,

Wherever you roam/

And admit that the waters

Around you have grown/

And accept it that soon you’ll be drenched to the bone/

If your time to you is worth saving,

Then you better start swimmin’ or you’ll sink like as stone,

For the times they are a-changin’…”                                       - Bob Dylan 

Finally, the league season is over and it's time to review the happenings of the last 9 months.

Not so fast perhaps. There’s still the small matter today of that UEFA Champions League launching pad, the Europa League Cup final, to attend to before appraising holistically.

However domestically speaking, it has been 38 games, 18 wins, 15 draws (league leading. And by ‘league-leading’, I mean European league-leading), 5 losses (same as Champions, Chelsea), 54 goals scored (4 more than Sunday’s opponents, 14^th place Crystal Palace), 29 goals conceded (2^nd best in the league after Spurs), there have been highs (Chelsea (H)), lows (Chelsea (A)), good consistency (25-game unbeaten run), bad consistency (6^th position for an eternity), moments of brilliance (Mkhitaryan’s stinger, Zlatan’s winners), moments of bone-headedness (Fellaini's Goodison Park cameo, Smalling on the pitch), vintage Mourinho (the badge-thumping sneer, tactical lock-down of opponents) and 'vintage' Mourinho (touchline ban, the negative persona).

Final position? 6th. 

24 points behind the 1st team, 7 points away from the 4th.

In paradoxically keeping with both the manager's approach to the last couple of games and Manchester United's youth traditions, the club fielded its youngest ever side in the Premier League era (average age of 22) in Sunday's finale at home against Crystal Palace granting full debuts to goalkeeper Joel Pereira, left-back Demi Mitchell, midfielder Scott McTominay and goal-scorer Josh Harrop (Whatever happened to James Wilson??). Axel Tuanzebe, who also only recently made his first-team debut, continued his run in the team with another fine performance while the bereaved Pogba brought some relative maturity into the midfield.

Thankfully, in spite of Jose Mourinho's ill-considered pre-match comments (“It’s frustrating for me. I hope you don’t kill me when you see my team. I hope the fans at Old Trafford support the team, they forgive some naivety, they forgive some lack of confidence. And I hope that Big Sam shows he’s a good friend and he goes slow. He tells to Zaha to go slow, he leaves Benteke at home. I hope he goes soft on us"), Palace manager, Sam Allardyce fielded the strongest possible team at his disposal and at least tried to make a game of it.

Well-taken first half goals from Harrop and Pogba meant that the second half ended up being a procession. I only wish the youngins' had been gradually introduced all through the season rather than collectively rolled out like some valedictory Ringling Bros. acts. 

A post-mortem shall be carried out on the league much later. Right now... 

THERE'S BIGGER FISH TO FRY

The die is cast. 7.45pm GMT. Today. Stockholm, Sweden. The Europa League Cup final. Manchester United v Ajax. Experience v Youth. Pressure v Permission. Consequence v Care-free. 

We know what is at stake. This has been put into even sharper context with the comments and events of the last couple of weeks. 

Winner takes it all. Take me 'Holm. The difference between an annus horribilis and an 'accomplished' , even if not 'progressive' year.

For many reasons, condemnation swords would be sheathed on this day. Management and players must stand up and be counted. More power to you, Darmian.💪 Go and get yours, Phil.👍 Master your full height, Marouane.👤 Let your football be as colourful and flamboyant as your haircut and dabs, Paul. There's a reason you cost more than any footballer in history. Pepper dem.💃 Jesse, I've always known you were made for critical cup finals. Give our captain a befitting send-off. 👏Mikkkkkkkyyyyy! This is your favourite competition...you know how we do. 👌

Jose...3 European Cup finals, 3 wins. Make it 4. The legacy continues.

See y'all on the other side of the celebrations...Cheers!

Signing Out,

B.L... 

In (the only) Other News (worthy for today):

Football is Football. Life is Life. There may sometimes be an intersection in the sets of both dealings but they are ultimately mutually exclusive.

The local community of Manchester was rocked by a terrorist bomb blast on Monday night after an Ariana Grande concert in the Manchester Arena. So far 22 people are dead and several others injured to varying degrees. 

It is almost inevitable that a Manchester local, Red or Blue, would have had a loved one at least traumatised by the incident. My sincere condolences go out to the Manchester populace and like it says in Tony Walsh's poem, 'This Is The Place':

"...Because this is a place that has been through some hard times: oppressions, recessions, depressions, and dark times.

But we keep fighting back with Greater Manchester spirit. Northern grit, Northern wit, and Greater Manchester’s lyrics.

And these hard times again, in these streets of our city, but we won’t take defeat and we don’t want your pity.

Because this is a place where we stand strong together, with a smile on our face, greater Manchester forever."

Stay strong. #ManchesterStrong

Lame At The Lane

Move along now...there's nothing to see here.

It's that however brief window period in this very peculiar Manchester United's league season where it is corporately acceptable for management and team to dial in their performances for the singular reason that 38 games must be concluded by each team before the league officially draws to a close.

2 more games to go then. Thankfully, no extra times (Not like any of these testimonial showings would merit it).

Tottenham Hotspurs beat Manchester United 2 -1 in the White Hart Lane grand finale yesterday. Victor Wanyama and Harry Kane scored for Spurs from well-worked set pieces. Wayne Rooney scored the last goal at the Lane. Rashford gave the Spurs faithful a rightful fright when he came on even though the game should have been long dispatched by then. Perhaps a fairer fight would have involved the attendees of the after-match celebrations, David Ginola, Chris Waddle, Ledley King & Co. against our team. 1-0, I'll wager still.

The manager has now made it blatantly clear that everything rests on the result in Stockholm. Yes, this was what we wanted due to the ongoing situation of injuries, lack of quality players 'fatigue' and the significance of winning the Europa. But...without sounding too contradictory...err...could we just tone down that impression a little bit? When you say to millions of fans and viewers after a loss to a rival that "There were no injuries and it's one less match to play because at this moment the Premier League matches for us are matches we don't want to play", you send a very strong wrong message.

"To tank" means to lose deliberately, or fail to finish. See Aussie tennis maverick, Nick Kyrgios or most National Basketball Association teams already assured of Play-Off placement. A cynical person may include West Ham United to that list but I would never have imagined in my lifetime that it is something that would be in anyway even remotely associated with Manchester United. For any reason whatsoever.

This is not about 'losing' simplicta; it's about intentionally setting out to lose or surrendering from competing. It's simply unethical behaviour. Instead play a bulk of the U-23s. They may yet be defeated but it would offer them 1. experience in a big game situation 2. A hint at the possibility of making the big leagues. They would also approach the game in a much more competitive spirit because there would be a point to prove. But to field De Gea, Bailly, Jones, Smalling, (Tuanzebe, who even had a decent game in an unfamiliar position, is excused) Blind, Carrick, Rooney, Mata, Lingard and Martial, all experienced, all multi-millionaires, all internationals, all, if it weren't for certain over-enhanced reputations, should be able to challenge for the league title as is, to put out that kind of performance is disheartening, unfair and ultimately detrimental to the interests of the club. I still retch when reminded that this is the most expensively assembled team ever in the history of football. 😱  

While the circumstances of making the Europa League Cup a priority have since been noted, offering full baby-diaper exhibitions of this kind is unacceptable. No one becomes depraved in a day. Clubs who are today maligned and mocked for setting mediocre parameters did not become like that in one season. It was a trend of decisions and directions that led them to that harrowing regrettable path. It's never OK to 'not compete'. You can and should rest players but those available should never take to the field without fire in their belly. Not least well-paid professionals.

The manager, by his statements, is also unwittingly putting immense pressure on the players leading to the Europa final. True, the importance of that match cannot be understated but it has been made to be "the mother of all finals". To put in perspective, this is still the final of Europe's 2nd tier competition. Knowing also the calibre and make-up of this squad, do you reckon it's the kind of pressure they'll thrive under? Judging by the after-effects of the very public flaying of Shaw, Mkhitaryan and Martial, I'm not so sure.

I really hope the team develops some level of competitive spirit before the final. Like Ryan Giggs mentioned yesterday, form is not a switch you suddenly turn on in a final. There should be some sort of confidence build-up culminating to the required performance, desired rest notwithstanding. It's the manager's job to find this balance. If it wasn't, I could as well be occupying on his seat. (Quite literally)

At least I know what my definite transfer list is.

Please let's see some more ambition/effort is the remainder 2 games. The club deserves much better than this.

Southampton (A) on Wednesday is next. Amen to that.

Signing Out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* As predicted since December, Chelsea has been crowned 2016/17 English Premier League Champions. Deserved. Antonio Conte has been successful in stabilising a previously fractured and unsettled but talented team while also moulding them into a functional unit. I imagine that next season will call for even more expertise from Italian with the added 'distraction' of the Champions League but that bridge would be attempted when encountered. Congratulations, Roman's Army...

* ...speaking of which, another set of Romans ensured that Serie A Champions, Juventus, would not be officially crowned till weekend. Not in the home of Il Re Di Roma, Francesco Totti. It was bad enough that his team lost his last Derby Della Capitale but that was a local civil war. There can only be one sovereign in Rome. And he is not an old lady however advanced in years he may be.  3-1 was the final scoreline. It should be noted however that Juventus rested a number of players in advance of the Copa De Italia and Totti only came on in extra time but still...

* ...time stood still as King of Clay, Rafael Nadal showed all his characteristic resilience and doggedness to win his record equalling 30th ATP 100 Tournament in Madrid by beating Dominic Thiem  7-6, 6-4. The greats are rolling back the years...

* Monaco has now scored over a 100 goals this season. Cristiano has now scored over 400 for Madrid. Animals.

*Some-What-Good News: Feyenoord Rotterdam, the 1st team to ensure Ajax comes second in a major competition this season has won its first Erevedisie title since 1999 when one Ruud van Nistelrooy was in their books. Not-So-Good News: One 36-year old Dirk Kuyt scored a hat-trick to seal the deal.

* Olden is golden?

      

And Then There Was One...

"They were closer now Fernando(Mourinho)/

Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally/
I was so afraid Fernando(Mourinho)/
We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to die/
And I'm not ashamed to say/
The roar of guns and cannons almost made me cry..."                       - ABBA, 'Fernando'


Whew.

Manchester United is (finally) through to the final of the Europa League taking place in Stockholm, Sweden on 24th May, 2017. Our opponents are Dutch giants, AFC Ajax.

It was only right that United made it to the final stage of Europe's secondary club competition in the most 'United' way possible - with suffering and drama. When the otherwise unflappable Eric Bailly was not seeing red in more ways than one, his defensive partner, Ajax agent alumnus, Daley Blind kept surrendering the ball to the Vigoans in precarious places. The team went from being composed and in control in the 1st half to defending deep and dangerously in the 2nd (I see you, Mourinho!).

Fortunately, none of this mattered - The job/mission was accomplished.

It certainly wasn't pretty and the quality was well short of the expected standard but we've 'wobbled and fumbled' into "qualification for possible Champions League qualification."

The tie should have been effectively settled in the 17th minute when Marouane Fellaini headed the ball into the near post from a Rashford laser-guided cross. If you've listened to Dave Chappelle's philosophical and comedic take in one of his recent Netflix specials on morally appraising the Bill Cosby situation, then you'd have a fair idea of where the afroed-one stands with a lot of fans. Only without Cosby's excellence in his craft (And by 'craft', I mean his 'comedy'. Thanks). 2-0 on aggregate. Celta Vigo needed at least 2 goals to go through. It didn't look at all likely in the first half even though United willingly surrendered possession to the Spanish side. One header flashed wide aside, it was still generally comfortable and smooth sailing.

But as we are wont to do under this dispensation, we tried to defend a 1-goal lead in the 2nd half which is OK if you have the personnel to adequately execute this strategy but also like this season has consistently shown us, there is usually egg residue to be wiped off our physiognomy by the time 90 minutes and whatever extras were added must have been completed. This ended no different in terms of the scoreline - a contemporary Old Trafford result. Good luck with that in the future.

Nonetheless, any endeavour that can scuttle a Scouser's (Iago Aspas) and Citizen's (John Guidetti) best laid plans and reduce at least one of them to tears, is a good one. 👏  

There are 4 games left in the season, 3 in the league and the increasingly crucial Europa final. One more home game (on the final day too), 2 away games starting with the White Hart Lane encore on Sunday and then final in Zlat-land. The debate over what matches constitute a 'priority' is archaic at this point. We know what we need to do and how to get it. There's only one more performance this season which would ultimately be the difference between this season and the last. Again, this does not need to be spelt out. 

It is eerily amusing that I feel almost exactly the same way I did at the end of last season and the reason is simple in retrospect - there's been too much sour predictability in performance and results even the most important victories have been achieved without a certain 'United' joie de vivre. I remain positive for bigger things next season. In spite of all the excuses, real or imagined, currently offered this term, a club of United's stature and resources just has to do better navigating multiple fronts next time around. 

"Knowing me, knowing you (ah-ha)/
There is nothing we can do/
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-ha)/
We just have to face it, this time we're through/
This time we're through, this time we're through/

This time we're through, we're really through"               - Agneta, Bjorn, Benni and Anni

A more than cursory look at most of the major football sites over the week provided a certain vindication to long-held positions which have always been hinged on facts/the 'eye-test' and nothing else no matter how critical they may have sounded or seemed - There is an almost unanimous agreement that there has to be a clear-out at Carrington for the club to move forward. Tables and performances do not lie. The reason we are 'best of the rest' on the league table and hustle even in the Europa League is because that is the quality we currently provide. It's that basic.

For the last two seasons, we have blamed Louis Van Gaal, who was indeed not without his failings both in the transfer market and in his muddled philosophy but has Jose performed any better? He also had the advantage of seeing all that was wrong before he assumed the reins but have are our performances been vastly different this year? Yes, there have been tactical improvements and a more dogged approach but have these been exhilarating Manchester United/top team performances? I honestly do not believe Jose and Louis suddenly became managerial relics incapable of stringing together some form of consistency from their players. Like I often say, no manager can 'coach' a professional to make an accurate pass or kick the ball into an open net. That's all on the players. It's time to refresh the pool at Old Trafford and for a bit of dark humour, we may keep the core of this team and see if the next manager can do any better. 

However, it seems the Journos and analysts (even the infamous propagandists) now concur that wholesale changes are required next term. As it is said that the moment of realisation is one's dawn, I say to 'em, "Good morning."

Congratulations on reaching the final, Mancunians!

To the club and fans alike, no pressure on Sunday. Play the kids if need be. Prevent injuries. Enjoy the remaining games. Relax. Hold your head up high. Be Manchester United.

Signing Out,

B.L 

In Other News:

* By the time you're reading this, Chelsea would probably have been crowned English League champions. Congratulations to them. 

* It's a Real Madrid v Juventus Champions League final. Advanced attack (Sorry, Monaco) v Advanced Defence. Juventus put up another tactical masterclass to defeat Monaco 2-1 (4-1 aggregate) in the 2nd leg of their semi-final tie. Barcelona reject,.  Dani Alves for the Balon D'or. Real Madrid baited Atletico Madrid into believing there was a possibility of overturning the tie by conceding 2 early goals but they had too much firepower to allow the match slip. Final score 2-1 (5-2 aggregate). The ballet from Karim Benzema leading up to the Madrid consolation killer goal was particularly impressive. The Millenium Stadium, Cardiff, Wales is the venue. 3rd June, 2017 is the date. Bombastic.

* Warriors swept the Jazz. Cavaliers swept the Raptors. The Beard fell (very) short in his quest to take the Rockets to the Western Conference Finals in a stinking Game 6 performance. Still shouldn't detract from a MvP worthy season. So it's Warriors v Spurs in the West and Cavaliers v the Celtics/Wizards winner in the East. I wonder who gets to play the Cavs in the NBA finals...

* And how was your week? 

What Did You Expect?

Really. What did you expect?

Fireworks? A feisty encounter with each combatant intent on laying psychological (and physical) markers on the opponent? Pizza kung-fu in the tunnel? A Hack-a-Fairy marathon? Eye pokes or ungentlemanly shoves? A title decider?

No, no, no, no…

Yesterday was not the day and now is not the time.

In the most underwhelming episode yet of the Manchester United vs Arsenal chronicles, both teams played out a rehearsal of Michael Carrick’s testimonial with the maker of the $50,000 half-time half-court lucky shot going away with the spoils. Granit Xhaka won the sweepstakes in this competition and as a bonus, former Mancunian, Danny Welbeck had the opportunity to make an uncontested lay-up to double the earnings which he did to general applause and good feeling. Everybody went home amused and untroubled. Arsenal gave itself a glimmer of hope in its top 4 pursuit. Extra-special was the fact that this was Wenger’s 1^st (2^nd? The Community Shield is often over-looked as a competitive game. Why? It is. You win a trophy/shield/cup) win against Mourinho in a competitive fixture for a period dating back to 13 years. For United, it was pretty much as you were all season – potential 6^th position with a loss of points when a win would have done a world of good.

Shame about the end of the 25-match unbeaten league run though. Nonetheless, while admirable in its length and stamina, it may have masked a lot of persistent issues which I am hopeful the management will aggressively address before the coming season.

As I had exhorted in my previous post, the responsible thing to do at this stage (and situation) in the season is to prioritize. Even before yesterday’s game, it was clear that the Europa League Cup had become priority and with good reason – However it is spun, a pathway to the UEFA Champions League of Celta Vigo (H) and probably (barring a PSG-ish sized collapse) Ajax is more viable than an Arsenal (A), Spurs (A), Southampton (A) and Palace (H) corridor. 2 games v 4. The former also brings the added benefit of an European trophy, the singular one missing from the team’s impressive cabinet while the latter gives you the O’ Wenger 4^th Place trophy, which if things were normal, we shouldn’t even be competing for as a target, in the first place.

This is not astrophysics. For a still unbalanced team that has scrapped its way all season with major challenges in the goal-scoring department, the significance, value and straightforwardness of the Europa route should be a no-brainer. Mind, there is at all no guarantee that this so-called ‘easier’ route is a foregone conclusion but if ‘calculated risk’ is “a hazard or chance of failure whose degree of probability has been reckoned or estimated before an undertaking is entered upon”, then I estimate that this danger has been well gauged.     

                                                       ♬"You're all I need...to get by..."

There’s been a lot of chirp and vitriol on Mourinho playing a ‘weakened’ side against Arsenal which ‘goes against United traditions’ and is ‘self-defeatist’ but I think that’s absolute bollocks. United’s ‘traditions’ involve competing (Note to Any Wone: not ‘participating’) in the biggest tournaments and winning things. It’s more pragmatic than egoistical. In other words, the big picture rather than a mere jpeg snapshot. Stooping to conquer. If Herrera or Bailly or Rashford or Valencia got the hammies in yesterday’s match and we ended up *drum roll* drawing the game, who does that help? What if we actually won the match, injuries a tow, and then drew/lost 2 of the remaining 3? If Celta springs a surprise against our now weakened team on Thursday? Too many ‘Ifs’, very few realities. The manager did what he had to do yesterday and it was the proper thing too. And even in its debilitated state, the team, on paper, boasted several ‘internationals’ and experienced heads.

The post-match interview, as expected, had a lot of spin to it where Mourinho claimed he was basically happy with the performance and the players and that he could not have asked for certain players to do more. He’s the manager and is correctly supposed to be PR-sensitive in offering his statements. Well, I’m not. I’m just a fan. So I can and will say it as I see it…

750 games for club and country. Captain of both teams. 31 years old. A testament to longevity, resourcefulness and relevancy. A record-breaker. Every major club title bar the forthcoming(?) Europa League Cup. All this, we greatly appreciate and extol. Thank you. However, games No. 756(?) and beyond should not be in the colours of Manchester United. Any other compromise would be criminal. ‘Nuff said.

I do not know for how much longer we are going to pretend that Chris Smalling is a top-class defender. Yes, it was his first match after 7 weeks out but if this is the excuse you would like to lay your bed with, then be prepared not to have a good night summer’s rest. We all know this is not a one-off. Propaganda will only get us so far.

Martial has again deflated my expectation balloon. I recognise that playing as a lone striker is mighty hard work and requires patience not to mention intelligence to effectively execute but that performance yesterday bordered on amateurish. This wasn’t against Chiellini and Bonucci. This was Rob holding Koscielny. A season that had so much promise has degenerated into one which, truth be told, has made the player dangerously disposable.

Mkhitaryan’s slump in form continues and it should be noted that he was brought in as a 27 (now 28)-year-old – a player in his prime required for immediate maximum effect. He has had a so and so season and it would be inconceivable that he endures anything similar in the next. He has been good to excellent in the Europa League against moderate opposition but the club’s ambitions and targets are much higher.

On a positive note, youth star, Axel Tuanzebe, (who surely would have won the game for us if he was made captain) had a full debut to remember. Keeping Alexis Sanchez in check is no mean feat. The boy, aside some initial defensive positioning lapses, gave an accomplished and assured performance in a high calibre game. He’s 19 years old. There’s a lot more to come from this end. It would be interesting to see if he gets some additional minutes in the remaining league fixtures. Try to be like Marcus Rashford, who is now one of the names on the sheet. Not Tim Fosu-Mensah, who still has a glass ceiling over him 2 seasons in.

All in all, not a good result but nothing fatal. Yes, we would have preferred to win this game and have what’s left of any bragging rights in this fixture but if wishes were horses, our coronation for No. 21 would have taken place yesterday after the Liverpool draw. You deal with the cards you are dealt. I am more concerned with 2 upcoming finals in the Europa Cup where even a draw and a win, in that order, will spell a successful season. Everything else is bluster. Thursday is the first final. No excuses.

Signing Out,

B.L…

In Other News:

* The la liga is heading to a thrilling climax. Real Madrid is successfully carrying out what Manchester United have failed to do by fielding their 'reserve' team (and what a reserve team it is) and walloping all and sundry. The team has received its second wind after the painful el clasico loss and has destroyed all subsequent competition since including bitter city rivals, Atletico Madrid in the Champions League. His Royal Highness, Emperor Cristiano Ronaldo I is only wheeled out for the biggest assignments and has so far not disappointed. Like the other monarch in the NBA, he seems to save his best for the business ends of things. Ominous, both ways. 

Barcelona has kept its part of the bargain by making a fight of the title. With no further European distractions and a fresh team at its disposal, it has also wiped its opponents with the floor. Unlike the los blancos, its reserves have been below par and the quality of the team drastically drops when they are fielded. Sadly, this revival may be a bit to late to prevent the title from going to the capital. Both teams are level on points but Barcelona have 2 games, Real Madrid 3.

* Chelsea begin the first step of its coronation by thumping Middlesborough today at the Bridge. One more win and they are champions. N'golo Kante has also been named the Football Writers' Player of the Year to go along with the PFA award. Deserved.

* Another critical match, another controversial decision. I wonder why they bother. Juventus are still going to be crowned Italian champions for the 6th straight time this week after suffering a sneeze against Torino in the derby. 1-1 it ended with a 92nd minute equaliser by the in-form Gonzalo Higuain. Roma and Napoli are comfortable in the other 2 available Chamions League spots.

*Newcastle are Championship champions! Blackburn Rovers, the only other EPL Champions, outside the Manchester teams, Chelsea and Arsenal, has been relegated to League 1! Bolton has been promoted to the Championship! 

* Saul 'Canelo' Alvarez v Gennady 'GGG' Golovkin. September, 16, 2017. Woof. Is boxing witnessing a resurgence?