Not A Self-Fulfilling Prophesy...

It was more submission than pin-fall. More “Rowdy’ Roddy Piper’s Sleeper-hold than Ultimate Warrior's ‘Gorilla Press Drop’. Euthanasia than execution.

Either way, the torment is over.

Frail, disjointed, disorientated, disillusioned, despicable and a diss to the club, this version of Manchester United on Sunday meekly surrendered any already unlikely top 4 hopes by struggling to a 1-1 with already relegated bottom club, Huddersfield in a game which neither pig nor human could be told apart.

Perhaps, I should first offer my apologies for the prolonged absence. On evidence of what we’ve witnessed for a large part of the season however, I really hope you partially understand why. Also, it gets a bit tiring repeating the same things ad infinitum. Thank you in advance for your understanding.

Mind, this mess didn’t just spring up last August at the beginning of Mourinho’s clockwork 3^rd season descent into madness – It has been brewing even pre-Ferguson retirement, its pungent smell skillfully dredged by the gaffer’s experience and sheer force of will. When you replace a Cristiano Ronaldo with an even prime-form Antonio Valencia, you can tell an army of Arthur Flecks would show up not too far along the line. And that is where we are now.

I’m not currently interested in analyzing the lengthy background of how we got here but I will say the following:

1. It’s much bigger than Ed Woodward. Irritating as he may come across, he’s an employee doing the bidding of his employers and regardless of what we may feel, he is doing it quite well. #GlazersOut

2. No, Mourinho was not right. Just stop it. He wasn’t. What we ordered: A Manager who could see the myriad of problems the team had developed under the post-Fergie managers and make the appropriate changes to move the club forward. What we got: A pyromaniac philosopher happy to reiterate at every turn the myriad of problems the team had developed under the post-Fergie managers who was ready to burn down the house anytime he didn’t get his way. By “his way”, read ‘world-record sums of money’. I can’t applaud what I already knew years back.

3. Re- Ole Gunnar Solsjkaer: Emotions can be a dangerous thing. I plead guilty in this case. Looking back, should my wholehearted agreement with his full time appointment have been more tempered? Yes. But (for the last and final time) I was blinded by my unflinching love towards any vestibule to the SAF glory-years. Right now? I wish we could all be neuralysed so we can all get our functioning brains back and no longer romanticize over years’ bygone.  

That out of the way, what can I say about the performing artists that has not been said about the Naked Emperor in didactic tale, ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’? – deluded, vain, largely incompetent and over-bloated egos. The (particularly UK) media serve as the weavers in this context and have continuously over-hyped lied about the abilities these handsomely paid athletes possess (Rashford at par with Mbappe?). Fans, who are the townsfolk, uncomfortably and embarrassingly played along with the pretense on the basis that they were our players and “we should support (does this mean we shouldn’t appraise them on their actual abilities?) them no matter what (you mean like Ashley Young or the unnamed who will skip town come summer?)”. A good number have started to slowly backtrack from their folly. The obstinate still believe Woodward further loosening the purse strings i.e. "backing the manager" is the singular solution. a.k.a 'we would be challenging for the title if we bought Harry Maguire over the summer.' Unraveling the multi-layered clutter of that sort of thinking is definitely for this rant.

I am of the firm opinion that at least 10 players must leave this summer. 10. Ten. Dix. Idealistic? Perhaps. But that's the minimum if we are to claw our way back to any semblance of decency. There's too much mediocrity, too many bad influences, too many blow-hards, too many suckling on the teat of nationality and locality, too many heads turned and too much of an imbalance. Basically, too many bad things. And you don't attack an aggressive cancer with paracetamol...

Let's rebuild. Forget renovation. There's no further need to plaster cracks. Tear the whole wall down. Forget an instant return to the Champions League and properly work our way up. I believe this but would not bet on it happening.

David De Gea. Great servant. Player of the Season 4 times straight. Been our savior for an eternity. And it could get tiring. Particularly for a goalkeeper. And there are times when a fresh start is required. I believe this is such a time. David, in my reckoning, hasn't lost form - David has mentally vacated the building. Whether due to what may feel like a hamster's wheel or due to protracted contract talks that don't seem to be resolved anytime soon, or a combination of the two, there's been a bungling of the basics all season. If a deal isn't agreed summer, sell him.

Shaw and Lindelof may be retained in defense.

Paul Pogba is not a $100M player. This is no longer an argument. Persist with it if you must but I will remind you of the Naked Emperor's adoring public. He's not a leader, he's not a defensive linchpin, he's not an attacking force (please don't show me the penalty-goals stats. Thanks), he's not an organizer, he's been just a slightly above average player whose best work seems to coincidentally occur when playing with much better players. But then again he's our social media darling so he has to be one of the best midfielders in the world. I'll take $60 million. Neat. Paperwork can be faxed later.

Ander Herrera, 30, who I would have loved to stay has been infected with the Sanchez pay/I-Get-the-club malady. $200k per week for the next 4 years? No, thank you. And you know what? I'll rather a renegade/bounty hunter who is top quality and productive than average badge-thumpers. Let's not kid ourselves - it's always ultimately about the money.

Mata, 31, has frittered the peak years of his career playing right wing/right full back to accommodate much lesser talented footballers. Noble of him but he can now leave. 

I knew we could get about 3 good years out of Matic. We got 2 and a half. Fair enough.

Fred is not a $54M player. He will not come good as a $54M player. We can make a decision now or live with it.

Piano man Alexis. A Ponzi scheme. The highest-rated Rotten Tomatoes heist movie in the history of cinema. A legend and cautionary tale. One to be studied for future generations.

Romelu Lukaku. We watch the games. We've seen the highlights. We've seen the touches. Clearly not $75M +. Clearly not Manchester United (as we used to be known) standard. Clearly not a natural footballer. 

Rashford and Lingard need to take several seats back and realize that their talents are nowhere near what they may have been led to believe. If Rashford spends the entire summer practicing just those damned awful free kicks, then by that alone, we've made substantial progress. Lingard is great for memes and needling the opposition (more specifically, Arsenal) but when have those been the core functions of a footballer?

You may consider the views above as extreme, pessimistic and negative but I'll happily tell you that the performances have been same and even worse. There's no point discussing the shambles of the last couple of years in moderate terms. The Emperor is naked and I'm calling him out. It's either wholesale or very little progress. 

And if this core somehow miraculously start the next season like a house on fire, then they should still be arrested for crimes against the State in the Year 2018/19.

Sadly, I don't think they have the ability to pull it off even if they wanted to.

Looking forward to the long summer...  

As Rooney Leaves For Yankee...

It has been confirmed that Manchester United record goal-scorer and former player/captain, Wayne Rooney has opted to join forces to Make America Great Again.

I wrote the article below on the 24th of November, 2013 after Manchester United played out a pulsating 2-2 draw with Cardiff City in the Premier League.

Sadly prophetic.

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There were a plethora of options available, the basic execution of which would have brought exultant raptures last seen at the Michael Owen Manchester Derby. Our Number 10, who had the good fortune to still be on the pitch, could have done any of the following:

1.       Passed the ball into the net from the right side of the keeper.

2.       Done the above from the keeper’s left.

3.       Rounded the keeper and scored.

4.       Chipped the keeper (only if he had the presence of mind to do so...I’ll get to that in a minute)

5.       Made a PROPER pass to Danny Welbeck thereby earning himself hero-status and further cementing the legend of the ‘Selfless Wayne of Man United’.

Rooney ended up not doing any of the above and what I instead witnessed was as soul-crushing as when Nani played a last minute free-kick in a certain game into the 1^st man in the opposition’s wall. ALL the United players were in the box. The free kick was just a couple of meters from the centre circle. The referee (also probably disgusted) blew the whistle immediately after.

This was just as bad.

Like the Manchester derby where after Rio went on frolic of his own against a speedy Bellamy no less, there was room for redemption.

It wasn’t squandered as much as it was debilitated.

Let’s be clear, I’m not making Wayne the sole scapegoat for the result. Evra’s lead-footedness, Cleverly’s busy stupidity and Evans’ general feebleness would be good contenders. Again, this isn’t about a spontaneous reaction to what in the context of the weekend was a bad result. It is the over-time considered view I have developed of our priced scouser.

Starting with the major positive, I have no doubt that Rooney is the most ‘important’ player to this Man United team. Not the ‘best’ or the deadliest in front of goal but the most important. He is the adhesive who makes all the units of the team ‘stick’ (not ‘gel’. Which says more about the current composition of the team rather than Rooney). He is prepared to sacrifice himself for the team and can play a variety of positions to get a result. His work ethic, when fit, is unrivalled in the squad. He has scored a truck-load of goals for United over the years and has (mostly) been a good servant to the club.

Unfortunately, and paradoxically, it is that major element of the positive that also forms the nucleus of what are now Rooney’s biggest failings. I believe that has he has sacrificed himself a bit too much for the benefit of the team and has lost the focused precision and mastery that he should have developed at this time in his career.

Rooney simply hasn’t progressed from the tour de force player in which he started his career. Worst still, it is arguable that he has regressed. He is admittedly much calmer when frustrated, even including the imbecilic lash-out yesterday but that unerring accuracy and explosiveness he initially had have since deserted him. His 1^st touch these days weigh a tonne. No matter how often he plays as an advanced midfielder, he is no Xavi as he lacks the aforementioned touch/control, the vision to unlock defences in high pressure games and the composure to pull it all off.

His finishing is not as good as either Van Persie’s or Chicarito’s. There’s a certain primal focus, nay selfishness, the best strikers have in certain situations in certain moments of the game. Does anyone believe Cristiano Ronaldo would have even attempted to pass the ball in that situation? And he’s not even a ‘striker’ properly so called. Van Persie? Falcao? Cavani? Ibrahamovic? (Maybe, but the pass would have definitely gotten to the recipient). It was clear Wazza was caught in two minds when in that situation yesterday. That, I believe is the current problem he has. He has become a jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

Is SAF at fault for his stunted development? Perhaps. Perhaps not. There’s again that determination the very best have that forces their coaches into playing them in their preferred position thereby making it absolutely necessary for the team to be built around them. Rooney, it seems to me, is happiest being a side-kick even if it may never be readily admitted. Either to Ronaldo or Persie, it seems he is content being the Robin to whoever’s Batman. In the National team where he is somewhat the focal point, he is yet to do it for the 3 Lions due various reasons since his magnificent tournament debut. “But he has scored a lot of goals for England”. I say ‘lies, damned lies and statistics’.

While I get over the pain of 2 dropped points yesterday, I will want to reiterate that Rooney is a very good player. I just do not believe he is in the top echelon of world-class players. It is either the coaching team readdresses the balance of the team and let midfielders be midfielders and strikers be strikers. Rooney is at the peak of his career and should have become a ‘specialist’ at this point. Headless rampages round the field will not cut it at this level no matter how much we appreciate industry in United. A controlled direct execution is what is needed from him at this point. In my opinion, Moyes has a lot of work to do in getting the very best out of him. At this point, he is ‘Boxer’ in the Orwell classic ‘Animal Farm’; As soon as his legs go, he will be easily dispensable. That’s certainly not want I want for our Wayne Rooney.

....................................................................................................................................................................

The De-mystification of Martial FC

I wrote this article 2 weeks ago. I think I now know what my answers are. Shame.

“Who is Anthony Martial?”

That was the question on a lot of Manchester United fans’ lips when the 19 year old Frenchman was announced as Louis Van Gaal’s deadline day signing from Monaco on the 1^st of September, 2015. At $36 million potentially rising to $58 million, his transfer fee was a then world record for a teenager and this was a bit of an oddity for a player that was regarded as an unknown quantity.

Erstwhile Manchester United (and English) record signing, Angel Di Maria had just upped and offed after one season at Old Trafford and the general expectation was that a player of similar clout and reputation would come in to replace him. With the further exits of Radamel Falcao to Chelsea and Javier “Chicarito” Hernandez to Bayer Leverkusen respectively, United was left with Wayne Rooney and the new and unproven Memphis Depay as first team strikers (The Europa Cup Round of 32 1^st leg match against Midtjylland FC had not happened so the world had not yet been introduced to a certain Marcus Rashford by then). There was the return to the UEFA Champions League and a veritable challenge for the Premier League title to be pursued and it was therefore only right that all available heavy-hitters should be recruited.

“So who was this Anthony Martial?”

A quick reference to various search engines provided a brief summary on the player’s abilities - Quick, good technique, not too much a goal scorer and positionally versatile were what I came up with. But how would he react under the unrelenting gaze of the Old Trafford spotlight? Coupled with his humungous transfer fee would this talent blossom or wither under intense focus? Highlights, clips and footages are never a true assessment of footballer’s capabilities (see aforementioned Memphis Depay) and so the jury was still very much out on young Martial.

The first glimpse of Martial’s unique talent was seen just 11 days after his signing against Liverpool in the historic North West derby. Cue the 65^th minute when he came on as a substitute and went on to score the final goal, a marvelous solo slalom in a 3-1 home victory, making the experienced Martin Skrtel’s blood curl in the process. His first start about a week later also remitted two well taken goals in a 2-3 away victory over Southampton. A cult hero was born.

“Tony Martial came from France/

The English Press said he had no chance/

Fifty Million down the drain/

As Tony Martial scores again!/

Na na na na…”                                              - A terrace chant sung for Anthony Martial

Martial ended up being Manchester United’s top goal scorer over the season with 11 league goals and 17 overall (including an FA Cup semi-final winning goal against Everton which may have been his crowning achievement that season) but there was so much more to this player than goals. Martial had the blitzy pace and close control of Ronaldo de lima combined with the poise and calm finishing of Thierry Henry. His potential was limitless and his transfer fee was no longer spoken of in tones of disbelief or doubt. Old Trafford had its lead singer and the natural expectation was of course that he would go on to bigger things the coming season…

But not quite. Perhaps it was the reported domestic issues he was going through; perhaps it was the arrival of a new manager and system. Again perhaps, it could have been the fabled second season blues. Whatever the reason, there was a clear drop in form (and consequently, appearances. Or was it the other way round? Which came first?) from the exceptional performer. He scored only about half the goals (8) he scored in his debut season in almost as many games (admittedly with almost half of these games as a substitute) and there were rife accusations of him being a poor trainer and lethargic. I, for one, shamelessly campaigned for him several times to be included in the starting line-up particularly in games last season which eventually ended as draws that I believed his presence would have made all the difference. A ‘Martial FC’ advocate, you may say. But without that bias, what was the true position of his performances last season?

If we agree that football is a performance sport and that 55% of communication is non-verbal, then Martial’s gestures and postures spoke volumes to the manager and supporters. While there continued to be several flashes of his brilliance, the following were also consistently witnessed - The continuous failure to track back. The casual shrug and trot after losing the ball. The even more casual aversion to making a tackle. Errant finishing and a sometimes diabolical final pass. The absolute irrelevance in any position other than the left-wing (What happened to “positionally versatile”?!). It was doubly frustrating for me because it was bleedin’ obvious that this guy clearly had in buckets the capabilities of being supremely world-class. Particularly for prodigious talents, I don’t buy the idea that their progress should be turnstile-regulated; wait in line for your turn/opportunity and develop as you are managed – No, jump over the device and head straight to your destination, I say.

This season, while slightly better than the last, has also been very much stop-start. He has flattered to deceive on occasion but has hinted at being the real deal on other stretches particularly in the beginning of the season. It has atimes been very hard to justify his inclusion in the team but there have been just as many occasions where you see how he can be a perfect fit. It is generally suggested that the younger players usually have consistency issues in the early stages of their career but this hasn’t been proven to be an exact science. The more motivated and driven strive to maintain a certain standard in their play. It may not always be world class level but it definitely wouldn’t be below average.

I feel Anthony Martial has to grow a fire in his belly. He has to start to put in that extra effort that would make him undroppable. The talent is there. So far, the attitude hasn’t seemed to be. There have been rumours about his disaffection with his current circumstance and the possibility of pining for a move come summer. Shame, if true. This is not the case of a player not being a good fit at a club and seeking opportunities and adaptability elsewhere. He clearly has a role to play in the squad and it’s just up to him to earn it. At 22 years of age, the time for excuses is over. Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard. Old Trafford has historically rewarded those who have laboured and excelled in its colours. Stand up and be counted, Martial…"

The end. 

                                                                   The 'Ta ra' squad

In more ways than one.

(For much more than one, even.)

But cheer up. The manager has proactively (not a word I would ordinarily associate with the man, mind you) hinted that a number of deadwood would still remain on the club's books next season. Bliss. 

There's still the little matter of finishing 2nd and hopeful FA Cup success to look forward to before the curtains are drawn on what has been an utterly underwhelming season for me. Can't wait for it to end, to be honest. Till then.

Signing Whatever,

DBL.

And Your Answers Are:

• Real Madrid v Liverpool. 12 v 5. Ronaldo v Salah. Zidane v Klopp. White v Red. Thanos v Hulk. And the winner is...

• It's Antoine v Dimitri but would Diego Simeone be allowed to lift the Europa cup since he's still serving an European suspension?

• Arguably the greatest personality in Arsenal's history. A divisive figure. Once avant-garde and futuristic. A relic who failed to move with the times. A managerial genius. Too much a father-figure and economist than a manager. Artistic. Idealistic. A tough rival. There to make up the numbers. How would you remember Arsene Wenger?

• Speaking of which, in a single season, aesthetically, Invicibles or Guardiola's record breaking gang? 

• My repeating it has gotten boring. Whatever. Congrats Juventus. 

• Do you think Steven Gerrard can break Celtic's stronghold in Scotland? Hahahahahahaha...😂

• Rafael Nadal is virtually unstoppable on clay. That is not a question but a statement. His statistics on the surface is mind-boggling, unprecedented and may never be surpassed. Do you right now even see any pretenders to that throne? (I don't) 

• David Haye should retire alongside Wayne Rooney in America. He shouldn't even think about having one last go. But shouldn't Bellew too?

•  And then there were four. Houston Rockets v Golden State Warriors. Boston Celtics v Cleveland Cavaliers. The finalists shall be...

• Oh, and yes, since I announced it earlier it's only right I also give material feedback. The relationship with @MUFCLatest turned out to be a very short one. While I shall spare you the unpleasant details, let's just say that some business practices are unacceptable in 2018 and I place a premium on integrity, personally and professionally. We move on, yes? 😊

A Derby And A Half

Well, well, well.

We Dikembe Mutombo'd that, didn't we? 😄 No in-your-face dunk, no posterization, no easy lay-up. Go that way and shoot your free throws. 

There are some victories that are infinitely worth more than 3 points. We all know how we felt after the full time whistle was blown. This wasn't just 3 points. This was the preservation of collective honour and pride. Even the vanquished neighbours know that the inevitable champagne celebrations have lost a certain sparkle that a reversed victory would have provided to unquantifiable end. It should have been the aftermath of David decapitating Goliath. Instead what they'll get is Jon Voight in the final scenes of "The Champ".

But this scenario was unfathomable after the first 45 minutes. 

I had assumed that the fury, numbness and subsequent writer's block inflicted by That-Champions-League-Game-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named would serve as the emotional nadir for what has been a frustratingly inconsistent season but boy, was I proved wrong. That first half perfectly encapsulated everything that has been wrong with the team this season:

✱ Smalling, inattentive, weak, badly-positioned, obsessed with the man rather than the ball, trepidation at playing out from the back? ✓

✱ Pogba taking unnecessary extra touches and failing to influence the game? ✓

✱Sanchez taking at least three unnecessary extra touches in an eventual journey to nowhere? ✓

✱ Lukaku's big game anonymity? ✓

✱ Corporate inability to complete four passes ? ✓

✱ Characteristic lethargic, lukewarm, lackadaisical start to games? ✓

The real shocker after the first 45 was how United was only two goals down. Really difficult to even write but City's performance in that half was another in the week deserving of even the opponent's fans standing ovation (More on that later). It was a footballing masterclass and my singular prayer for the second half was that United would be able to muster a shot on target.

It was reported that very little was said at half time. For good reason too I believe. The team needed a certain atmosphere of quiet to be able to psychically connect and listen to the vitriol and anger of millions of  fans world over. Makes a lot of sense since they apparently weren't listening to the manager thus far.

No changes were made going into the half and my primary petition was quickly satisfied when Eduardo made a save from Pogba within 10 minutes of the restart. The basic uncomplicated tweak of quickly passing the ball made all the difference in this half. Same personnel, pretty much the same formation but a little more zip and movement and then Boom! Boom! Boom! The hitherto appropriately vilified Pogba came up with a beautiful brace to level the scores to the general disbelief of the City supporters (and United's as well). Look at the 2nd goal again. As simple as it was effective. After a successful string of passes, Pogba, in the centre circle, gives the ball to Sanchez on the left. Sanchez takes two (forward) touches, checks in to his right and crosses into the box. Pogba never stopped running after passing the ball. Header. Goal.

"Ah! Would that it were so simple."

And the winning goal? Smalling, the unlikeliest person you would imagine, poked in from the most basic of free kicks (thereby earning himself a reprieve from immediate sale at least till season end).  It was that kind of game. Another presumably out of favour and reportedly on his way out player, Senor Ander Herrera, subsequently conducted a brand of 'game management' that would rile you if you played for the other team but would absolutely adore if he happened to be on your side. Think Diego Costa or Sergio Ramos. Is it possible to keep him singularly for this purpose? His comments after the game further endeared him to a large number of Reds. Even if it has not fully translated football-wise, the man absolutely gets what it means to be a Manchester United player.

FT 2-3. Was I happy? Without a doubt. The Cityzens weren't going to be crowned in our presence and it is always nice to silence the noisy neighbours. Was the victory deserved? That's what the scoreline says. Can we kick on from here? Honestly, I don't know. As stated severally, Mourinho's ultra-conservative and reactionary approach will never gel with me. It also doesn't seem to be strategy that the players, particularly the forwards, enjoy. But there remains the eternal argument of what 'enjoyment' constitutes for both players and fans alike if you've just beaten Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester City, the champions-in-waiting, in quick succession.

For me, while I recognise that we won a (significant) battle but have, in reality, lost the war, I still need to occasionally feel the way I felt on Saturday. Pyrrhic, it may be, but these sort of victories serve as a necessary lubricant for the emotional engine of fan-dom. The high remains for a long long time. That said, would I swap positions with City at this very moment? You betcha! Plaster my face as a meme all over the internet and TV networks as the crying fan whose team capitulated after a seemingly secured victory. All well and good. I'll reply all messages as soon as my team picks up the league trophy.

As the fixture list gifts, the reward for beating the top team is to immediately face the bottom team, West Brom at Old Trafford to consolidate 2nd position. The result should be a no-brainer - 'Brom has lost eight successive matches. Minus That-Champions-League-Game-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named, United has won seven straight. But if you've followed this United season closely and the marquee football games of this week, then you would be prepared to expect the unexpected.  

Fingers crossed.

Signing In,

B.L...   


Your Answers Are:

* Conventional footballing wisdom says that a goal, however beautiful, cannot automatically engrave you into the Mount Rushmore of the greats. But it does suggest that a moment is capable of doing just that. 'Moments' have to do not just with the goal, but also with the occasion and ensuing universal acclamation that inevitably follows. 17 year old Pele's header in the 1958 World Cup Final in Stockholm. (Also that famous 'body-over' dummy that fooled the Uruguayan goalkeeper in the semi-finals of Mexico '70, the subsequent shot at goal which he narrowly missed). Maradona v England in Mexico (again) '86. That Van Basten volley against USSR in the '88 Euros. Zidane's too in the UCL final. Baggio's merry dance against Czechoslovakia in Italia '90. Ronaldo de Lima's powerful slalom against Compostella. His hat-trick in Old Trafford 😩.  Kaka in Old Trafford 😢😢 . Ronaldinho's artsy evisceration of Real Madrid. Messi playing football...

You get the picture.

The instance that serves as the marker of a career.

Well, it seems ex-boy and ridiculous goal machine, Cristiano Ronaldo finally has his. It would seem odd that for a man who has scored well over 600 goals in his career and who has more goals than games for statistically the biggest club in the world would only just be receiving his. But let's think about it for a minute - which of the goals in his vast catalogue of goals would before now be considered a 'moment' as defined above? The long range bullet against Porto for United? Beautiful but not definitive. That header against Roma? Stupendous but not definitive. The free kick against Portsmouth? Iconic for the EPL but not career definitive. The multitude of free kicks, tap-ins, volleys, headers for Madrid? Nah. Do I even need to explain that penalties don't count? 

However, his second goal for Real Madrid in the 0-3 defeat of Juventus last week in the UEFA Champions League became it. Against fierce rivals in the competition. The last three times both teams met in the knock-out phase, Juventus had eliminated Madrid. However, Madrid had prevailed in the finals in which they had collided including last year's. Revenge was on the front burner. There was also the backstory of the legendary Gianluca Buffon's possible final run in the only competition he is yet to win in his stellar career. Juventus very rarely lose at home. Juventus very rarely lose, period. 

Ronaldo (who else?) got the opener in the 3rd minute. Juventus reacted, harrying, pressing, pressuring to no avail. And then came the 64th minute. You will remember where you were when it happened. An overhead kick/bicycleta/sangalo that has understandably been analysed ad naseum and a standing ovation later, Cristiano had his moment. It could also rank as his best ever goal.

Where do you think Ronaldo would end up in your greatest and/or best ever list?

* "Just pass to Messi" is not a strategy that will get you out of jail all the time. Mind, it's been relatively successful for his teams thus far but coordinated team work would sometimes leave you with a bloody nose. And for this reason, Roma are through to the semi-finals of the Champions League and Barcelona is out.

Liverpool v Roma                      

Real Madrid v Bayern Munich.

Oh, and Arsenal v Atletico Madrid and Marseille v Red Bull Salzburg.

And your finalists are?

* The NBA Play-offs are here;

West                                                                                            East

Rockets (W) v Timberwolves                                                  Raptors v Wizards (W)

Thunder (W) v Jazz                                                                  LBJ (W) v Pacers

Warriors (W) v Spurs                                                               Celtics v Bucks (W)

Trailblazers (W) v The Brow                                                    The Process (W) v Heat

Who ya got?

* Does Sebastian Vettel realise that he's still not going to win the Driver's title this season?

* Tiger struggling in the woods. Does it get better from here?

* Congratulations Bayern. <Yawn>. Niko Kovac?

* The closing credits are about to come up. Salah or De Bruyne?

  

Surprise, Surprise...

To be clear, I'm pretty exact on where I stand on the matter - I'm never going to be comfortable or fully accepting of Mourinho's football methodologies.

Yes, from time immemorial, competitive sports has been about winning. And yes, Mourinho usually finds a way to win. I get it.

Still, "Each according to his own taste" said the dog as it licked its balls. Style and aesthetics may be very secondary to many when it comes to trophies. For me, it ranks almost pari passu with. A bland soulless 'Fifteen Million Merits' appraisal system may indeed appeal to some where not very unlike the extremes of social media, the obscene desire for 'followers' or 'likes', at whatever cost, is satisfactory, celebrated and saluted. Well, not so with me. The emotional entertainment element of sport should also be satisfied. 

Then again, I'm not a business man who has invested millions in this context. I'm simply a sports fan.

So even as I dismount my moral high horse, one has to give credit where it is due - Jose has been able to navigate a tricky fixture list like a pro giving United a head start in the 2nd place arms race. Two weeks ago, the horizon was looking rather bleak. But after eking out an unlikely victory from what seemed an incontrovertible and depressing defeat sandwiched by strategically nullifying two of the most dangerous players in the world in fist-pumping victories over our closest and historical rivals, the man deserves certain praise.

"...This bad M.C. with stamina like Bruce Jenner/

The winner, tasting M.C.'s for dinner/

You're crazy like that glue/

To think that you could out-do my one-two/

That's sick like the flu..."                                                           Craig Mack (1971 -2018), 'Get Down'.

Someone likened him to a fabled sorcerer whose powers had seemingly whittled over the years. His abilities had become more myth (and mirth) than magic. Technological, financial and social advancements had explained away some of his past successes and there was perhaps really nothing 'special' about this warlock. But every now and again, he does something absolutely stupendous in full view of a large audience to remind that, maybe the old man is still to be feared and respected despite any previous misgivings.

Also worthy of uncommon praise are the much (deservedly) maligned players, Ashley Young and Chris Smalling for their performances particularly in the last two games. With Young, I have previously noted that he is often capable of executing a strategic defensive job (and he was awesome against Liverpool) but he's still pants offensively. I maintain that he's too limited to be Manchester United's starting left-back and there's nothing he does a Luke Shaw can not be coached to do doubly better. With Smalling, the come-back goal against Crystal Palace was the least he could have done given the previous defensive atrocities he exhibited even in that game. Against Liverpool, we could see the difference a fit-again Eric Bailly made as one half of our central defence. Welcome back, boss. I've read 'complete numbskulls' still suggest that Smalling is good enough for United in light of these fair to decent performances but my response to this is res ipsa loquitor - the thing speaks (loudly) for itself. If you put all crooked agenda aside, you will see it clearly for what it is. 

Is our midfield better without Pogba? Or rather is our midfield more functional without Pogba? Same difference? On the evidence before us, the fact that a potentially world class player can not adequately fit/sacrifice/hone his talents into any position in a midfield-3 is a shame to all involved. On one hand, Pogba seems unwilling to occasionally reign himself in and play according to the manager's set (if restrictive) instructions. On the other hand, this is a manager whose ethos is in the collective and he expects every player to be able to do a job when required (See aforementioned A. Young and Samuel Eto'o for reference). It is why an uncomplicated player like Scot McTominay (See also Mikel Obi) would probably flourish in a Mourinho midfield. A resolution needs to be found to this quagmire immediately. £90 million is not chicken feed.

Alexis Sanchez. Wow. Let's put it this way - the man is going to get a well deserved summer break and will start the pre-season with the team barring any injuries and then we'll see the very best of him. He's too much a world-class player to look this ugly in the team while simultaneously destroying the already fragile synergy in the front line. Thankfully, Lukaku is waking up to literally working the strength of his might to effectual use. If Rashford can also even occasionally do what he did against Liverpool and Martial can be kept in a good mood on match day while Lingard continues to net the important special goals (then he can do whatever stupid celebrations he pleases), then we should be able to manage the business end of things relatively smoothly.

There's still a lot of work to be done in achieving anything of note this season starting this week. There's the Champions League Quarter finals ticket waiting to be punched and the Brighton & Hove Albion pathway to be explored for the F.A. Cup semis. Sevilla showed that it was a dangerous opponent in the 1st leg and if not for De Gea's heroics, an uphill task would have been lying in wait. The tie is still finely poised at 0-0 and we play at Old Trafford. 😉 A positive result today should be adequate fuel for Saturday.

Make me happy, please!

Signing In,

B.L...   


Your Answers Are:

* Manchester City and Liverpool through. Spurs out. United and Chelsea, precarious. While Spurs and Chelsea (who have not yet been eliminated) admittedly faced top echelon opposition, are the English teams really not as good as they seemed during the group stages?

* Seeing that the EPL is coming to an expected end, how do we prevent a guard of honour and/or championship celebration at Old Trafford? 😠

* Congratulations Bayern Munich on your 6th straight! May we suggest you add Pulisic and Timo Werner to your summer shopping list?

* Week 26! If this was your answer to the Predict & Win question on when Juventus would take the lead for good, then you have won yourself a special prize. Contact me with proof of your prediction to claim your reward. Next question: Just how many league titles are Juventus going to win in a row?

* The Beard is the NBA MVP. 'Bron is in a bit of a pickle. The Raptors and Trailblazers are wearing their big boy pants. But are the San Antonio Spurs going to miss the play-offs?

* Always good to have the Tiger back and competitive. I, for one, had written him off. Is a Major still possible?

* Deontay Wilder is a brawler and can take a punch (No, he doesn't have a glass chin). But a methodical power-puncher with good stamina should make easy work of him. Sounds like anyone you know?

* I lost a friend, egbon and brother yesterday. More than an avid Manchester United supporter, he was a complete and decent gentleman. A family man to the core, Aremu Adekunle Adelodun was a man of impeccable character and integrity. We had this long-running hilarious thing where he referred to Paul Pogba as my 'mumu' i.e. a silly person I was sympathetic to (Why would anybody think that?, I would protest. Don't you often read my position on the player?😄) I would also in turn refer to Fellaini as his 'mumu' as he was particularly complimentary of the big man's gifts. Sir K, as he was fondly known, (@sirkbaba) was a natural comedian and he never failed to light up a room, cyber or real, with his presence. 

It is still very difficult to process. Rest in peace, Sir K. Death, where is thy sting?  

Home Truths

"Come gather around people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
And if your breath to you is worth saving
Then you better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changing..."                                              

- 'The Times They Are A-Changing', Nobel Laureate Bob.

I really hate to say "I told you so" but I've told you over and over and over and over and over and over and over again that I could as well say it one more time just because I have already - I told you so.

Not that it ever meant anything in the larger context of things but there's a certain catharsis documenting this now widely recognised anomalies and absurdities has provided me. I'll spare you the banality this time around.

On thing is for sure though. Jose Mario dos Santos Mourinho Felix, great manager he has been, has lost a few steps. Maybe more than a few. This is no longer peak Jose. I do not believe this is still up for debate. He really doesn't seem to have progressed very well with the times, tactically, as a manager.  Gone (or going) is the clear thinking, decisive, ruthless, fearless, gutsy and strategic man. What is currently on show is an indecisive, foolishly stubborn, egoistical and mentally straight-jacketed coach who expects things to go his way almost on the singular basis that His Specialness has indeed picked the team. Even if the results have lied (No, they have not), the performances clearly haven't. This is not a wanton assessment but settled facts derived from verifiable data accumulated over the recent years.

                                                              Still worth the hype? as captured by dailystar.co.uk

Justifiably named last year as one of the top 10 greatest coaches since the creation of UEFA, Mr. Mourinho was also the first manager to exceed $1 billion in transfers. The others who have approached/crossed this threshold are Carlo Ancelotti and Pep Guardiola, also proven winners. This  actually makes sense as club owners would understandably be willing to invest heavily in players fancied by these men knowing they are guaranteed certain returns. Money usually equates success particularly in the hands of a knowledgeable manager. And that's why this re-incarnation of Mourinho is so baffling. He still commands his Board's hefty investments but his methodologies, nay, his product, are not at all correspondent. How about the Europa and League Cup in his first season, you may offer. Good. But I resolutely believe that for a team of Manchester United's stature, coupled with the investments, both managerial and personnel-wise, that were made, that was the absolute minimum.

The return to the Champions League could have occurred in two ways; Make the Top 4 or win the Europa Cup. We chose the latter and came 6th in the league. Great but anything else would have been nothing short of catastrophic. Even then, the performances in the competition were jagged and sometimes fortuitous (and I'll agree that the latter element is part of the game but it wasn't any swashbuckling dominant glorious ascent to the throne is all I'm saying.) The euphoria was primarily about making the Champions League via winning the only cup not in our trophy room and then there are several good reasons why before now we rarely participated in that competition. There should be no garlands for that one.

We may mud-sling back and forth on social media on how Guardiola is not 'special' and is in fact a cheque-book manager (like virtually all other managers who have had sustained success. True) but there is a discernible, almost exact preciseness and clarity to his purpose. Except one wants to be dishonest, the upward trajectory and improving quality personnel of the noisy neighbours is evident. Mourinho has spent nearly half a billion in one and a half seasons without still knowing what his best side is. Like his predecessors, he has made purchases who look ill-fitting, unprepared and confused as to their roles in the team and this without even referring to the on-going civil war with the rebellious Pogba.

For instance, celebrated signing, Alexis Sanchez does not seem to have a defined role in the team and this has further disrupted the entire already iffy rhythm of the forward line. As he seems to play everywhere (and not in a good way), Lukaku has ventured deeper into the lost forest, Martial has become handicapped on the right and Lingard, our most in form player before Alexis' arrival, doesn't seem to know what he's doing on the pitch. This should not be the resultant effect of acquiring a world-class player. Something is dreadfully wrong.

I promised not to again dwell on the Smalling/Young/Pogba/Lukaku dilemnas so I wouldn't.

My fear is that the coach is going to insist on proving his point and shall, if not immediately, within the next couple of games, retain or revert to this dastardly set-up. Make your own conclusions on the implication of that. Sometimes the simpler it is, the better. Just put the red square peg in the red square hole and avoid playing Rubik's Cube.

The sad truth is that we have been sucked into the race to avoid 5th place. Third placed Liverpool are 2 points behind United. Chelsea is 4th and 3 points behind. Resurgent Spurs are currently 5th place and 4 points behind. Spurs have a lighter fixture list (on paper) than we have. It is almost a foregone conclusion at this time that Kompany has one hand on the Premiership trophy so one of those teams, United inclusive, will not make the Top 4.

For a manager who was engaged for a premium on the reputation of guaranteed success in his 2nd year, Mourinho has bitterly disappointed. His engagement, as evidenced by the heavy investments made by the club, was not one seeking gradual progress or youth development. One season is permissible as trying to figure out your team. Dead weights and surplus-to-requirements could have been released or sold over the next summer transfer window with preferred reinforcements brought in. Certain players have been correctly deemed 'not good enough' by a large majority of supporters over the preceding years and the only logical reason they still remain in the team is because the manager wants them. The blame, at this point, should no longer lie with the players - This IS Mourinho's team and he should bear the full responsibility.

If you visit my home on a Sunday and find it in an untidy state and the explanation I give to you is that Mr. XYZ was responsible for the mess, then perhaps, Mr. XYZ is an untidy person. But if you make a return visit on Friday and still find the house in the same level of untidiness, then maybe, perhaps, I am the untidy person.

My grouse is not at being unable to win every match or available competition. It is at the muddled, obstinate and regressive thinking that has enveloped our football.

I am tired of hearing all the deflection. We should all by now recognise what the real issue is. Perhaps the boss will have a turn of conscience. Perhaps he'll heed to common sense and 'simplify' things like he so eloquently offered over the weekend. I'm not holding my breathe.

"When you reach my level you don't learn from others, you have to learn from yourself. So I learn every day."- Jose Mourinho

Next up: Huddersfield in the FA Cup on Saturday and then Sevilla in the Champions League. Here's hoping for much better performances and results...

Signing In (with a frown),

B.L...   


Your Answers Are:

* The UCL is back.

Juventus (2) or Spurs (2)?
Basel (0) or Man City (4)
Real Madrid or PSG?
Porto or Liverpool?
Chelsea or Barcelona?
Bayern Munich or Besiktas?
Sevilla or Man. United?

Shakhtar Donetsk or Roma?

* A heated argument in the office. Would you consider Samuel Umtiti a "world-class" defender? Do you think he's better than Chelsea's Cesar Azpilicueta as a centre-back?

* Can the re-tooled Cleveland Cavaliers defeat the scorching Houston Rockets in the NBA Finals? Was Isaiah Thomas done dirty or his slow recovery and adaptation did him in?

* All hail Bayern Munich, perpetual champions of Germany. Any doubts?

*  'Breaking Bad' or 'Mad Men'? 

Familiar Failings

Everyone has an opinion, however reserved, about something. Sometimes wrong, sometimes right.

It is often said that 21 analysts could come up with 21 different line-ups, formations and strategies to prosecute the same game.

But every once in a while, similar thought-sets are formed where a majority would agree on particular issues and both sentiment and fact become aligned. Familiar patterns are collated and there is an acceptance of the general idea being postulated. Mind, there would still be dissenting opinions on whatever this idea is. Sometimes borne out of a deep sincere belief of an unorthodox perspective or approach to the idea. Other times it's plain and simple cognitive dissonance. 

It's no secret at this point that, for whatever reason, Mourinho doesn't seem to get the big games right at Manchester United. It's been either too tepid, too conservative, too seemingly unprepared or as we saw on Wednesday, too imbalanced. But he's a proven winner, a fair number could argue. Also he wasn't the demon controlling Phil Jones' right leg and none can prove that he asked the defence to play the game of 'musical statue' from kick-off. 

But this is not the first time the team has started in this manner and I fear it would not be the last. When the 2nd half commences, I always wait for the dreaded 55 minute-mark to pass in the hope that a goal is not conceded. Inexplicably, the team always takes a while to boot when they step out on the pitch and it is at those moments they are most vulnerable. I don't know what the exact stats are but I'm almost certain that this is the peak period goal attempts are conceded by the team. 

Whatever Jose tells the players in the dressing room before the game starts is either too much or too little. Go figure.

Which brings me to the day's line-up. The buck stops at the manager's table so except he's over-achieving with this team like some other managers (cough), he gets to pick up the can when things go as bad as they did yesterday.

                                                                  Wednesday's line-up against Spurs courtesy tvtropes.org

I'll start with the most non-controversial controversial issue - Ashley Young is not a left-back (non-controversial) and should not start for Manchester United, not least in that position (controversial).

I have harped over and over on this point but there are a lot of dissenters who believe that his 'tenacity' and hit/miss crossing qualifies him ahead of Shaw, Rojo and Blind, the last who should have taken the bloody Roma deal be seeing out his last season at Old Trafford. Take me up on this if you must but Young remains very limited and has best served as an x-factor in a defensive strategy rather than a starting left full back (Heck, he's almost exclusively right-footed). His predictability and lack of initiative means defenders league-wide have a fair and accurate idea of what transpires after Young receives the ball in the opponents' half of the field. To that end, they leave acres of space behind their right full back to the corner flag knowing fully well that: 1. He's not going to make direct runs into that tantalising space 2. Whatever he does, he almost certainly will cut back to his favoured right foot and 3. the ball will land at the left side of the goalkeeper's post where a. Lukaku b. Fellaini c. Smalling may connect to varying effect. Or the ball may go out of play for a goal kick.

A naturally left footed defender, Luke Shaw for instance, WILL bomb down the flanks and can instantly whip in a cross. Fortune mostly favours the brave.

Ashley stifles the game and I find Mourinho's insistence on foisting him as the lead left-back almost treacherous. Feel free to disagree.

An then we have Christopher Lloyd Smalling and Phillip Anthony Jones.

Name-calling is childish.

Jones has in the past been compared to Duncan Edwards, Franco Baresi and Fernando Hierro. Sir Alex, who sometimes suffers bouts of PPS (Pele Predictive Syndrome), also prophesied that he may become United's greatest player ever. Yes, you read that correct. Greatest. Player. Ever. Phil Jones. For a more grotesque fulfilled prophesy look no further than Chris Smalling being one of the vice-captains of Manchester United. I recall the 'Keane & Viera - Best of Enemies' documentary where Keano was asked what the most important quality in a captain should be. Roy was of the opinion that the captain should be the best player on the pitch (But was he even ever the 'best'? Relative. Debate for another forum and day). Character and Leadership were also recurrent themes in the captaincy discussion of that programme. Well, this is where we are now...

Again, you may disagree but the aggregate performances of these centre-halves particularly in the post-Fergie years are self-evident. In spite of every last ditch tackle, body-on-the-line clearance, odd goal and general perspiration we may have applauded, there is a glaring lack of technique (Neither is comfortable on the ball and what's that thing Smalling does where he clenches his fists and robotically turns his body to the direction he wants to pass the ball? When a Gareth Southgate doesn't think you 'fit into the way he wants his team to play' and you are a playing Manchester United captain then there's a huge disconnect somewhere), inconsistency, poor concentration, indecisiveness and basic lack of requisite quality.

This is not solely about the Spurs game even though that serves as an appropriate example. This is about basic and consistent deficiencies from those two that a good number of supporters have noticed and voiced out over the last couple of years. But these are immediately papered over by the next 'W' or achieved 'target' (In the recent years, qualifying for the Champions League has in itself become a viable ambition). We can continue to pretend this is not the case when the next relegation-scrapper is pummelled 4-0 and the table shows the team has conceded the least goals in the league (Thank you, David). It's somewhat similar to the stubborn refusal of 'expert pundits' to accept that club legend Wayne Rooney was a spent force at least 3 years ago. The various excuses were that he was not a '9', then he wasn't a '10', then it was his team mates not contributing their quota, then it was the manager not playing to his strengths. They unanimously, but unfortunately without shame, eventually accepted this reality only last summer.

I would be welcome to serving cups of coffee when we wake up from this current reverie.

And if the fit $35M defender cannot comfortably start games more than half-way through a season in which he partook in full pre-season preparations, then it's over to you again, Jose.

Paul Pogba has improved from last season. Statistically at least. And I still think he'll get better. He has everything in his locker, skill, technique, presence, attitude (a bit too much?), pace and a good shot (Accuracy though is hovering around 30%). But what he severely lacks is emotional intelligence and the absence of this vital element can sink the whole boat of talent. It's okay to struggle at being played out of your favourite position but it's another to openly rebel against team tactics and strategy for personal flights of fancy. Mourinho affords Pogba a lot more latitude than a lot would like but he was left with no choice than to pull the mutineer out of the game after his continuous undisciplined effort. Shocking stuff. Sometime you make such sacrifices for the team as a leader. Mata has accepted being shunted to the wings even though he's no winger and even the previously discussed Ashley Young regularly grafts as a full back. Pogba couldn't hold position for 45 minutes! It was just ONE game, Paul!!

Then there was that moment when the ball was perfectly laid to him just outside the '18. There was only one thing left to do - smash the ball into/towards the net. But Pogba, under no pressure, shifted the ball to his weaker left foot and shot tamely at the first defender in front of him. There are some things I'll never understand. It was so much easier to shoot directly. Why complicate things unnecessarily? There are some things you can't teach. You either have it or you don't. I wished it was another 'Paul' in that same position...

Finally, too many cooks spoil the broth. There's no need to shoe-horn all the available talent into the starting line-up. Someone should suffer and sweat it out on the bench. This would hopefully sharpen the appetite of whoever it is. The reason Alexis ('Piano man' according to the haters. Hahahaha) was brought in was to provide some instant maturity and consistency in our forward play. Also to make the attacking spots more competitive. He operates best from the left. Well then, Anthony, your position (which you hadn't in fact permanently held down) is under threat. Sit. Or if Lukaku cannot help but play as he often does in the big games where he's anonymous and rendered redundant by better defenders than he trains with then he should sit instead. Sanchez will and can play as a 9. But trying to give everybody instant game time will only backfire spectacularly as it did against Spurs. The imbalance was obvious and it ended up being a hot (not to mention 'expensive') mess. (By the way, when did Mourinho become this...soft and indecisive? Failed to clear out deadwood over 3 windows and seems to primarily cater to feelings rather than facts these days. Except with his brand of football. Ahem. Switch?)

I still have medium to high hopes for this team. 15 points between us and the neighbours now. Perhaps the ship has sailed? Perhaps. Still knockout competition always gives a chance as it depends more on a one-off performance than points-chasing. We'll see.

Huddersfield to receive the backlash of the woeful mid-week performance at Old Trafford on Saturday. Amen.

Signing In,

B.L...   


Your Answers Are:

* By how much do you think Roger Federer is the Greatest Tennis Player Ever even forgetting about the Grand Slams?

* The wheels have started turning. Do you think Abramovich's 2-year tenured arrangement with his managers will remain successful?

* Skipped me last time around but football great/legend/superstar/magician/entertainer, Ronaldinho Gaucho has officially retired from the sport. Can you name any footballer who has had as magnificent peak years as 'dinho did in 2004-6? I'll wait...

* Predict & Win! In what week would Juventus overthrow Napoli at the top of the Serie A table and build an insurmountable lead?

* Being a Golden State Warriors fan, the Houston Rockets and Oklahoma City Thunder have really started to frighten me. Should I be scared?

* Who else believes Riyahd Mahrez doesn't have a very smart agent?

* Nigeria to win the African Nations Championship. Yes?

* 90 minutes...Sports Express...Rest In Peace, Deji Tinubu.